We will need a lot more hemp before we're through.

Paul, truer words were never spoken. I want to admit to our audience that before I turned on Yor, The Hunter From The Future, this week's film, I had a fair bit of hemp. And I gotta tell you, yeah, I was gonna need a lot more hemp before we were through. Well, how was your experience? I think anybody watching this film is gonna need a lot more hemp.

I had some snacks. But I, you know, I just kind of took the film as its own form of biochemical assistance.

Oh my God, you mean like when Salvador Dali said, I don't take drugs, I am drugs. You think you don't have to take drugs to enjoy Yor, The Hunter From The Future because Yor is drugs, right?

I feel like some kind of strange, psychic meld happened between me and the film, where then we became a drug.

It's like you don't know where you end and Yor begins, you know? It's like, it's just like the boundaries of personality become so porous when you experience a movie like Yor!

Yor!

Yor!

Yor! Okay, okay, we gotta get this going because otherwise we're just gonna do this all day. Okay, so let's just, okay, Yor, The Hunter From The Future. Or All Life. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're watching a movie called Yor, The Hunter From The Future. My name is Javier Grillo-Marxuach.

And I'm Paul Alvarado-Dykstra.

And this is...

So what was that?

What was that? Producer Brad, that was not the Multiplex Overthruster.

Javi, Javi, didn't you get the memo? We changed the podcast. This is now Yor's World.

This is...

Was that, that was the Yor's World song, right? Is that correct?

Yes, yes. And now the podcast, this is just going to be all Yor all the time.

I refuse to have Yor take over my personality. We're going to do this again. Here we go. I'm Javier Grillo-Marxuach.

And I'm Paul Alvarado-Dykstra.

And this is...

Multiplex Overthruster Summer Of Yor!

What is happening? Stop it, stop it.

Stop it!

Yor! I can't stop this! Alright, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

What was that? There's no turning back. There's no turning back. Javi, Javi, there was, as you pointed out before I hit play on my janky Internet Archive copy, low res, of this film, which is the only version it exists online, digitally, which we'll get into in a minute.

We're going to talk about that.

There is BY and after Y.

Yeah, that is before Yor and after Yor, isn't there?

And for the totality of our existence, until moments ago, for me, yesterday, for you, we all lived in the before.

In the BY, yeah.

In the, let's say, the be Yor. And now...

You can't do that when I'm drinking coffee. We're in the be Yor times.

Yes, but that's over.

That's over.

We have now transcended into the beyond, into the after Yor.

We now live in Yor's World, my friend, much like the song. Okay, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop. Okay, just for those of you who can't hear the lyrics, it says, Yor's World, he's the man. We are in Yor's World and he is the man, right?

He is. He is the man, he is the man adorned in a loincloth.

Yes, yes.

And fuzzy boots and a medallion and a resplendent fountain of glory on his head.

Oh my god, the wig.

The wig. It's like, it's like. The wig of, of, of blonde majesty.

You know, let me, I want to just go on the record as saying I, this movie was released before Mad Max, before Thunderdome. And obviously Tina Turner's entire hairstyle was based on Yor, right? I mean, it's like, it's like, I mean, right? No?

Javi, I never mind. I kind of, I kind of feel like we have unlocked, we have discovered possibly the Rosetta Stone of modern civilization and culture. That's been, that's been buried in obscurity, folks, unjustly.

How did you guys miss this? I saw it back in the eighties.

You never saw it.

I saw it.

To go into our scripted, you know, how we're supposed to do this show, producer Brad has, has now gotten us into, how did you see this movie and, and why producer Brad? Why did you see this movie in the eighties? Where were you? What happened? Were you being punished?

What are you talking about? It's a fantasy film that was on cable. How did I not watch it?

But you didn't go to see it in the theater?

I don't recall seeing it in the theater, no.

Paul Alvarado-Dykstra, you never saw this movie when you were a kid, even though you are like robo geek, you're one of the uber nerds, co-founder of Fantastic Fest, founding writer of A Net Cool. You never saw Yor, really?

I was going to say, had Fantastic Fest existed in 1983, I can only presume this would have been our opening night premiere. I don't know how I've missed this. Other than, as I've alluded to when discussing some previous titles, I had a fair amount of skepticism when it came to certain, let's say, far reaches of genre terrain. And I do remember fleetingly passing and seeing and judging, harshly and unfairly, in retrospect, the VHS cover in my local neighborhood video store in my youth. And I just thought, oh, that looks like garbage.

Like you'd be going by, you'd be like, oh, we can watch Sword and the Sorcerer, we can watch Hawk the Slayer, we can watch Metal Storm, we can watch Space Hunter. Oh, Yor, that's a terrible movie. We're not going to watch that, right?

Yeah, it just looked like garbage. It didn't have anybody I knew or recognized involved. And I just, I never, I dismissed it out of hand.

And when you say it didn't have anyone you recognize, surely you remember that the greatest episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever is of course Space Mutiny, which also stars Reb Brown as a character who is constantly being referred to by names like Flint Ironstag and Bold Big Flank, Fist Rock Bones, Stump Beef Knob. And yet even that wasn't enough to get you to revisit Yor at any point?

While I celebrate his well-deserved immortality in that context, I only have dim, faint memories of that. I wasn't the biggest Mr. Science fan. It was not my jam.

For me, Corrine Cleary was in it, and she was from Moonraker. A Bond girl is in this film.

Oh, wow.

This is true.

So, producer Brad, who did she play in Moonraker? I don't remember her in Moonraker.

She played Drax's assistant who gets chased by the dogs.

She's the sacrificial lamb. Bond always has sex with a girl in the first act who then gets killed. Yeah.

Yes. She helps him and dies for it.

I remember her being hunted down by dogs in Moonraker. Yes, yes. Paul Alvarado-Dykstra, it's funny. We're all talking about having seen this film in... So, the Internet Archive, which is one of the few repositories of good left in the Internet, has a copy of this film, and it is extraordinarily low resolution. So, it's kind of hard to actually make out some of what's happening sometimes.

It's like 360p.

Yeah. But you know what I love about that is that I genuinely feel like I had... So, this is the first time I've seen Yor. I saw it reviewed on sneak previews, Siskel and Everett Savage did, obviously. So, I didn't go see it in the theaters, because I was a kid and I wasn't going to be able to see this movie anyway. But watching it in this context and watching it in this... It's the closest I think you can come to seeing it in like an actual grindhouse context, you know, in the modern day, which is actually added to the experience of the movie at being such a bad print.

So, I think as a public service, we should inform our viewers. There is thankfully a DVD and a Blu-ray that exists of this film, which I am now fixated on procuring, because I must have this in my collection. But-

And that's the one with the red-brown commentary, right?

I believe so, which I can't wait to-

That's the one I watched.

You bastard.

I watched it with the commentary.

Oh my God.

Do you know why Producer Brad is just one of my favorite human beings that ever lived, and I consider him, Producer Brad is my Steve Rogers. I've said this many times, I'll say it again. But Producer Brad, you took that for the team. You went and you watched this movie and you watched it with the commentary, and you also watched part of the original four-hour Italian television miniseries that was cut down to less than 90 minutes to make this film. I mean, Producer Brad, you're like the Bruce Wayne of this podcast. What are you doing?

I think bad movies are like hemp for me, honey. I enjoy them.

Have you tried actual hemp? Because it's pretty great.

Yor's pretty good too.

So as we all know, depending on when you're listening to this, in the present time, it's a perilous time for our civilization, for our culture that's under attack and oppression in unprecedented ways.

Much like in Yor's World.

Much like in Yor's World. And when we chose Yor for this week's episode. Yor! Little did we know or understand both the challenge that it would pose and the existential transformation it would unleash. But first of all, so I just assumed, well, we can find Yor, it's got to be somewhere, even if it's on like Pluto TV or...

We live in a post-digital age. This movie's got to be available somewhere, of course.

It is not available on any streaming service at all. And we checked all of them. What is available on a couple, I think Amazon and Pluto, is the Rift Tracks version that has them tearing it apart, which I don't have time for.

Right.

But then I thought, well, okay, I'll just rent it or buy it on Prime Video or on iTunes. No! It does not exist. You cannot buy. It is the most obscure film we have done on the film. I went so far as to scour my local network of half-priced bookstores to see if they had used copies on DVD or Blu-ray. The nearest copy to Austin is in Corpus Christi, which is like 200 miles away on the coast. I did not have time.

I have a theory about this. First of all, anybody who buys Yor, why would you part with it? So of course, you're not going to find it in a secondhand bookstore or a radio store. Nobody who owns this could possibly want to get rid of it.

Clearly, I think you'd have to die to have it torn from the clutches of your fingers.

Your heirs will fight over your copy of Yor. Also, I think that what we're stumbled on here, Paul, is a concerted effort. I think Yor is a movie that when people see it, they are so ashamed of their own lack of quality, both as artists, but also interpersonally. I mean, I think if this movie were more commonly available, you'd see people like your friend Guillermo standing on rooftops going, why continue? Why go on? I think John Milius would be like, why do I even try? And I think that to keep those people alive, we need to keep this movie out there. You know what I'm saying?

It is almost like a forbidden fruit of fantasy cinema that's been kept from us. But I feel like it is incumbent on us to announce today that we are embarking on a mission to evangelize Yor, The Hunter From The Future, and to get it somehow widely available on a streaming platform or at least for digital distributions, rentals and sales. This is just, it's Yor.

It must be seen. I mean, I think literally the only thing, the only miniseries I want to see more, never mind that, I want to see more than Yor is the extended version of Wim Vendors Until The End Of The World that is very hard to find. But I think this is now a new grill for me. Yeah, let's talk about, let me, let me, let me, let's get into the, let me talk about the, yeah, yeah. The Grandeur, The Majesty. This film is called Yor, The Hunter From The Future, as you might have guessed.

A rare instance where the title of the film is a huge fricking spoiler.

But it's not.

But it is.

Because there's actually, he's actually not from the future.

Okay, it's a misdirect spoiler.

It's kind of a misdirect. It's like, actually, it's like if the Sixth Sense were called, you know, the Sixth Sense, no, he's not really a ghost. No, anyway. So, okay. So, Yor played by Reb Brown, which begs the question of in a parallel universe, Yor, in a parallel universe, was there a guy named Yor who played a guy named Reb? That's what I want to know. Anyway.

Do you know why he's called Reb?

Why?

Because there was already a Robert Brown, so he took his initials, R-E-B.

That's like the band B-A-R. Who are behind the iconic anthem, The Night Begins To Shine, which any deep fan of Teen Titans Go knows by heart. And I am in the car.

Okay, so Yor appears in this barren, barbaric landscape, seemingly fully formed, like Athena from Zeus' Brow. We literally just meet him walking down a hill.

Traipsing, one might say.

Traipsing, quite leisurely, I would add. I mean, the thing about Reb's performance is that you can tell that he's very confident as Yor, and he doesn't need to stalk. He doesn't need to, he's got it. Yor's got it, Yor's the man, it's Yor's world. He doesn't have to, yeah, he's haunters.

He is in command of his world.

So Yor comes down this hill and immediately kills a Triceratops, saving a couple of cave dwellers, natives, barbarians named, Oh, what's happening? What'd I do?

You guys supposed to do a quick recap and then go into the movie.

Yeah, you're going right into the whole block.

What are you doing?

It's the story of a guy who came down a hill, killed a Triceratops, wandered around with a couple of shemps from like some barbaric tribe for a while, killed a Dimetrodon, discovered that there was an entire civilization, a future people he came from, wound up joining their rebellion and overthrew the evil overlord who ran the place with super science and sorcery. Is that ding ding? All right. I mean, that's about as much as okay. So Paul, so Paul.

There's another dimension of this film that that that we have to appreciate.

Okay. Okay. Aside from the psychic damage, do go on.

So we all presumably being cultured aficionados of world cinema.

Indeed.

Appreciate the vast array of offerings in the spaghetti western genre.

Indeed, indeed.

This is sort of a spaghetti fantasy. Yes. An Italian production.

But it's also a baklava fantasy because it's also shot in Turkey with a big Turkish crew.

Yes. But it also is a film that makes a leap in genre.

Yes. Yes.

In the third act.

You think you're watching a barbarian, you think you're watching a sword and sorcery movie, and then in the third act it inexplicably becomes a Star Wars.

Then it becomes spaghetti sci-fi.

Yes.

And it's wild. And that, I gotta say, is a pretty great twist.

Look.

Even though it shamelessly starts ripping off Star Wars. In any way.

This film, look, even the director said, you know, in an interview, that this movie was a party film. So I assume that this was basically a big boondoggle. They raised a couple of $10,000, went to Turkey, shot this movie whenever they could, and snorted a lot of cocaine and really enjoyed themselves in Turkey. Or hash, I think is, I mean, I have to assume that's what, because the, this, Paul, this, and weirdly, I had such a, here's the thing I find so interesting, okay? You take a manifestly mercenary and awful film like The Soldier, which we famously talked about last year, right? And that film, we had a lot of fun watching that movie, but it wasn't like a movie that was fun in and of itself necessarily, right?

No.

And now watching Yor, like, I actually, this film is like Plan 9 from Outer Space poorly made, right?

No.

And yet, you think it's worse?

I think it's a masterpiece.

Well, that's the thing is that it is. It was so much fun to watch this movie and I honestly don't understand why, because it defies all strictures of quality cinema that I'm aware of. I'm having to unlearn everything I learned in film school, and yet it hurts so good, Paul.

It is an ouroboros of goodness and badness.

And you don't know which one.

Seamlessly intertwined and consuming itself.

It is, yeah.

In a way that you can't separate one from the other.

And yet, like the burning bush, it never consumes itself. It's just always, yeah. It's like one of those mandalas you see on TikTok, you know.

And it just shines with an inner light of earnest insanity.

Right, right. And that's the thing is that, you know, the movie is like an, you can tell, you read an interview with the director, you can tell that, like, you know, but, and yet somehow the insanity, the just, it's like somehow in the alchemy of exploitation, mercenary filmmaking, wanting to snort a lot of hash in Turkey and all that, this movie came out that is such a weird object, right?

Yeah. So there are films that we've seen, films we haven't seen, films we love, films we don't, films we warn our listeners away from. Yes. And from the outside, you would think, quite rationally, that we would be like, don't ever fucking watch this film as long as you live. That this film, by any superficial passing evaluation, would be on a shelf with any number of avoid at all cost runaways.

You know, yeah, absolutely. The Soldier.

I honestly feel this may be the film of all the ones we've covered so far. I am most eager to compel our audiences to go seek out and watch.

I would not go so far as that. I would say that it is very, I feel about this film the way I do about DMT, which is that I would not advocate it for anybody. However, I would say that if you take the chance, you may have a transcendent, transformative experience, but your mileage will vary. You know what I'm saying?

Yes, yes.

The film opens with Yor, Yor walking down a hill for no damn reason. And he's literally walking down this hill for what seems like an eternity while the title scrolls and we hear the song.

The greatest opening song possibly in film history.

Let's remind our audience of it because I think we've talked for a while and I don't want them to forget it. This is a very important part of the show. Let's hear it, producer Brad. So, and then almost immediately upon coming down this hill without any introduction, any exposition, any scenes with dramatic content, Yor runs into some villagers. Yes?

This takes place in Cappadocia in Turkey.

Yes, it does.

And, well, that's where we shot it.

There was a shot there, yeah, yeah.

And in the commentary, Red Brown says, the last person who was here before me was St. Paul the Apostle.

Wow.

Wow. And yet, I feel like somehow the presence of Yor sanctified that ground even further, making it holier.

This is clearly, I've stepped into my destiny.

I think we now know that Highlander and Kurgan could never fight where this film was shot. I think that's what we have to say. Anyway, so-

It is spectacular landscape, though. You have to admit.

It is.

It is very nice, though. It is very striking and unusual in terms of these weird vertical rock formations and jagged rugged terrain. But yeah, so we find what looked like-

No, no, no.

I'm Paul Plot in this one.

I don't want to miss the ceremony.

No, no, but first he's got to slaughter the Triceratops.

First we see this ceremony before they go hunting and then they encounter-

Yor has literally messed with my sense of time, space, and dimension. Paul Plot, go ahead, show me what happens.

I'm so sorry. But there's this-

Because my notes only say Yor walks around and picks up stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I have for the first five minutes of the movie.

He's traipsing about during the main titles to the song.

Picking things up, very important.

Then we find this village of fur-clad cave people. Yes. There's this ceremony with them raising these fur-clad kids aloft to celebrate them are going to be feasting and hunting. Then we meet Kala and Pog who then go hunt a small lizard creature.

Pog, but the way that the film is dubbed, I thought his name was Pog at first, which is an acronym in pornography. I don't want to get into it. Then I thought his name was Peg and I'm like, Margaret? The accents are all over the place.

By the way, I am dying to find a copy of this, and hopefully the Blu-ray offers this. I want to hear it in Italian with English subtitles.

But this is still an Italian movie, which means that it was dubbed after the fact.

In everything. Yes. Every version is dubbed.

Yeah. Between the 40s and the late 80s, all Italian films are just shot silence and dubbed in post, right? That was how they made things. So he meets Pog and Kala, right?

They hunt this weird little lizard creature that they're excited about, but then bursting through the woods is a freaking Triceratops.

Shockingly lively cardboard Triceratops, I might add. Like really.

It's paper mache.

Yeah. And yet so spry and so full of limited motion.

It looks bad, but it still sort of works.

Right? It's kind of great. It's kind of great.

I can't believe we're being so happy about this movie. It's kind of great.

It's janky, but they make it work remarkably well. And there's blood and the sequence. And so, of course, Yor from Out of Nowhere leaps in to action with his trusty axe and starts beating the shit out of the Triceratops.

And then we get our second quote of the day, which is every quote from this movie became my favorite quote from this movie. So let's just hear quote number two, producer Brad, because this is Chefskiss.

Drink.

Drink it.

It burns like fire.

The blood of your enemy makes you stronger. Drink.

I'd rather stay weak. Who are you? Where do you come from?

I'm Yor, The Hunter. I come from the High Mountain.

Thank you for saving Kala. She is the most precious thing in my life. I am Pag. Her father was my king.

Help me cut the choice meat.

It's a strange piece of metal.

What is it? I don't know. I've had it ever since I can remember. I've never seen another one like it.

I have seen a similar medallion.

Are they your people?

Yes.

Where?

Beyond the mountains. It is borne by a woman who lives among the desert people. I have seen it glint on her chest when the sun's rays strike it.

Who is she?

She is the daughter of the gods. They say she descended to the earth in a tongue of fire. And now she is worshiped as a queen.

Come, Yor. Welcome to our village.

Now, guys, the reason I let that quote run this long is because...

This is the longest clip in Multiplex Overthruster history.

I know, Paul. I know. But there's a method to my madness, and it is this. This is all the exposition in the entire movie.

I...

This is it.

No, no, no, no, no.

I came from the high mountain. What did he do at the beginning of the movie? He came down from the high mountain. He was picking up shit. I mean, this is it.

I could not disagree more, because this is like all the dialogue in the movie. This... All the dialogue is shamelessly, fearlessly...

Undramatic?

Unashamedly...

Expository?

Exposition. All of it.

There's no drama in the movie.

No, no. Everyone speaks in exposition. And it's great. It's so stupid. But it's so great, because it's based on a novel, apparently.

This is based on a graphic novel, a graphic novel.

A graphic novel. But it's sort of like... And this is... I swear to God, this is not in my notes. This is literally occurring to me right now in this moment.

Right.

Not that anyone cares.

Go do it. Do it.

Give it to me.

It's like we're watching in real time a live-action storybook being performed and read to us simultaneously in this weird meta-textual structure.

I think what you and I are responding to, like you and I are trained board-certified dramatists. We're professional writers. We've done this for a living.

Oh, yeah.

And suddenly being hit with a movie that refuses to have drama and only wants to speak to you through explicit. It's kind of like in that Star Trek episode where Picard and the captain from The Sons of Tama get stuck in the planet. Darmach. Yeah, Picard has to learn the Darmach and Gelada Tanagra language.

Right.

It's kind of like we were literally just thrust into a place where all the rules that we understand for drama are are gone. And we have to understand a whole new language that consists entirely of people telling each other things that may or may not occur in the movie. Because also like when Pog says, you know, her father was my king. We're like, oh, so this is going to be about avenging that. No, no.

Yeah. And she's going to become queen of the people. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Yeah.

It also feels somewhat like the script has been translated into Italian and then back into English.

The graphic novel was in Spanish, and I feel like they adapted it into Italian. Yes. Then they translated it into English, and then they translated it back into Italian and then maybe back into English.

Maybe. I don't know.

I think you need that extra step.

I don't know. But it lends this slight tinge of arch, inadvertent artistry.

Yes, it really does.

That's hard to kind of quite get your handle on, but once you kind of groove and vibe with it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. But it's sort of like Plan 9. It's like once you realize you're not dealing with the rules that you think you understand the movie, and you just give in, you just surrender. All of a sudden, it's like, yeah.

It's a revolutionary work that dispenses with normal rules.

The four-hour version of this movie, I bet, is kind of like watching...

I can't wait.

I have to imagine it's like watching Robert Wilson's production of Philip Glass' Einstein on the Beach. It's just like all the rules out the window, and you're just there, and you just got to see what happens. So Yor and Kala and Pog go to their... It's not Pog, is it? It's Peg.

Yeah, whatever you want.

Peg Pog. Peg? What are you, from the Midwest? It's an A. Okay, it's a Pag. Okay. I think I like Pog better. Anyway, the point being, they go back to the village and...

Triumphantly.

Triumphantly, and immediately for no reason, there's a sort of Ewok celebration, and Kala is doing this sort of erotic dance.

Yes, as they're feasting on the roasted Triceratops.

I believe you mean on the choice meats, Paul, because I think from this moment on, anytime we go to work, we should be like, let's go cut the choice meats. Paul, shall we go cut the choice meats? Let's do it.

Don't twist my arm. There's also a very interesting dance, a choreography movement piece by these women twirling in these rope dresses. I just find it very evocative as someone who appreciates contemporary dance.

All I can say is that the choreography in this movie makes Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2 look like Merce Cunningham and Twyla Tharp had a baby. I mean, it's amazing.

And then Kala joins the fray, and as you alluded to, she sort of starts seductively beckoning Yeah.

Yeah. What is she trying to do, Paul? What is she trying to do to Yor?

She's trying to put the whammy out.

The whammy.

And they are, they are eye fucking something fierce.

Yeah, something fierce.

And yet, do you know what Red Brown's direction was when they do the close up and he's staring at her dancing?

Do tell.

What was it?

He was told to burp.

Okay.

He burped and then they dubbed it later.

Wow. So literally the movie not only was the dialogue dubbed and posed, so were the burps.

This is avant-garde direction.

I mean, this is insane. This is beyond reality.

But then what happens, Javi? Everything is great.

We think yours is going to get laid that night. I mean, he brought the curse names.

But then actual cavemen attack.

Yes. So these are like cavemen, but then we have like Cro-Mags who like come out of some cave or something, they attack.

Like scary cavemen attack.

And it's kind of like, it's like if The Siege from Conan The Barbarian had been not directed by John Milius, but by a coked up battalion guy on on a tax break boondoggle and the Cro-Mags wind up and Yor fights, but he is outnumbered and the Cro-Mags, not only do they do they decimate the village. Well, producer Brad, let's hear clip number three of The Aftermath, because it is tragic. It's like it's like the pyre at the end of Return of the Jedi.

Did they take all the women prisoner?

They are beasts. They put you to the elements.

All right.

And his dying words, much like in the opening of The Dark Crystal, he starts to say he, he, about, about to explain something important about Yor that he's gonna tell Pag. But he dies before he can, he can share the knowledge. Because when this elder, the village elder, first sees Yor, and there's, there's a gif of this, like his face lights up when he sees him in the medallion, because he recognizes, oh, there's something foretold by-

Yeah, that was the woman who lives as a queen with a little fire and all that crap.

And so he's like, oh, this is whatever, but now the elder's dead.

But the conundrum with this movie is that, is that it continually pulls the rug out from under you because you never know which exposition will actually appear later in the movie, you know? So they're constantly giving exposition that, that like, like for example, her father was my king. Okay, well, that's not going to happen. None to do with nothing.

Yeah.

She's worthy of Yor, you know?

So that is true, yes. So anyway, you know, producer Brad, I think you read this movie much more accurately than I did. I'm as always impressed with your acuity.

I'm more attuned to the bad films.

So, Yor and Pag go on a quest to find Kala and they wander around.

Yor has taken Kala to his hidden secret tree house. Pag went back to the village and had this interchange with the dying elder. Then Pag goes to find Yor and Kala. They are talking about the mystery of the Medallion. She's fixing it on and he's having this existential weight of mystery. Whereas he's saying, am I the son of fire with no mother or father?

Did we see the same movie? I don't remember any of this.

Yeah, but then Pag or Pag, whoever finds him but watches as Yor and Kala are ambushed and surrounded by the evil, bad, scary cavemen, Cro-Mags, who have them surrounded and capture them, take the Medallion, and then we get a moment where we think, holy shit, is the movie over? Because they appear to knock out Yor, and the leader issues this command.

Throw them off the cliff.

Hurry!

The gods must be appeased with fresh blood.

This movie is so metal. This movie, it's heavy, it's metal. Real instruments, like Jason Momoa says in the Minecraft movie, this movie is fucking metal. I love that. The gods must be appeased.

And they throw our hero early in the first act, off a cliff, to his doom. And you're like, oh shit, he's dead.

Maybe this is like that movie Executive Decision, where Tz'Gal gets killed and Kurt Russell becomes the hero.

Yeah, and they were like, is Kala going to emerge as the hero?

Is Pog going to take over the mantle? We don't know.

Or someone we haven't met yet? A dinosaur, perhaps? So then the cavemen, we go and find this whole caveman cave city.

No, Paul Plot, I think the reason why I black that out is because in most of these films, right? Usually, the village gets attacked. And this, you know what, Paul? This is literally what happens when you know the tropes too well. Yes. Usually the village gets attacked and that's enough. Yes. They take the people, the village gets attacked, they take the people, and then you go on the quest. This movie, in its infinite wisdom and in its narrative, in its desire to expand our concept of narrative, does that beat twice? First they attack the village and take the women, and then they take Kala, and I just, you know what? It just blew my mind. I went into a fugue state during that scene, so sorry I forgot it.

And this is not the only village that's attacked in the movie.

Oh, God no, no. It's the only inciting incident these writers know of. But Paul Plot, but you're missing one thing. Before they go to get the Chromaggs, before they go to rescue Kala from the Chromaggs, Pagg has the following line. Uh, producer Brad, may we hear clip number five?

Thank the God you're alive. Come, it's not safe to remain here.

No. First we must find Kala. Where is she?

You lost her in battle. Kala now belongs to him. That is our law.

No, Pagg.

I don't recognize your laws. That way.

Now what I love about this clip, what I love about this clip, first of all it's like, Pagg is constantly saying what the law is, and then Yor tells him, this happens a couple of times in the movie, and Yor goes, well, I don't recognize your law, and Pagg immediately, like, let's go over the law. This guy is a tower of jello, morally. He has no respect for the law, so it's like, Yor is like, I don't recognize your law, and Pagg is like, all right.

So I'm a short stack of thoughts here. First of all, presumably none of these laws are written down anywhere. We don't see any writing. We don't see any words that stay.

Do you think Pagg is just a big old coward?

Is that the law? It's not our law, sorry. It begs the question that maybe they're just making this shit up as they go.

Or it's in the mini-series.

Maybe it's in the mini-series. That's true. We haven't seen the mini-series. But right now, all that exists for us is the film. So the film has to work in and of itself. The other thing is that...

Producer Brad, you can't be like one of those Star Wars fans who's like, yeah, if you'd read the Expanded Universe Legends canon, you would understand that Thrawn. No, we got to deal with what's on the screen, brother.

Yes. The other thing, as we will come to see, and there's no avoiding it, and it is a trope of the genre, and it's unfortunate even if it's played maybe more likely than it should, the laws of this world are decidedly misogynistic.

Indeed.

Just in the most oppressive and treating women as property way, I just feel we need to acknowledge that.

I think that off-read from The Handmaid's Tale is watching this movie going, wow, we don't have it so bad.

Well, there's a lot of problematic stuff in this film. It is a deranged male fantasy.

The Chromags, that was the first flapjack in your short stack of thoughts. Let's have the next pancake.

But the other thing, before Pog, Pag finds Yor at the bottom of the precipice he's been thrown off of, into a river, some body of water, and somehow he's miraculously survived and is still alive.

Well, he climbs back up.

No, that's right. Yor climbs up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, even you, Paul Plot, are forgetting Crucial Beats because this movie just popped out.

Because you jumped ahead, because you jumped ahead.

All right, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

But first we get a glimpse of, because we've thrown, we're given an expanse during which we don't know if Yor's alive or dead, which I appreciate the film doing this. Because as you alluded to, the trope, the expected plot structure, mechanic, as we've seen repeatedly in Conan and other films, you have the village destroyed, then you have the hero goes on the quest of revenge. And you think that's the movie. We've seen this movie before. That's not this movie. Because here, they take Yor out. So he can't go on revenge. And they kidnap the Kala, the female lead, and a bunch of other people that are prisoners. And so we get a glimpse of this caveman, cave-like city that exists. And the audio in this, and I almost asked for a clip, but we already have too many.

Too many.

Where you hear two things. You hear prisoners screaming, and you hear cavemen grunting. And I just appreciate the sound design and choice of the collision of those two vocalizations. Kind of telling you all you need to know to paint a picture of that setting.

I think Ben Burt looked at this movie and shot himself in the head because he just didn't know if he could go on, you know.

It's really solid work.

Those caves are real caves. They shot in real Turkish caves. That was not his head.

They're amazing.

And yet through the magic of Yor, they made it look like styrofoam. It literally looked like the Deep Space Nine foam cave.

I mean, it's pretty great. It kind of looks like, yeah, it's like, oh, it's the...

Yeah, I think our director who his name... Well, he has an American name and an Italian name. His name is Antonio Margheriti, but he directed this movie as like...

Anthony Dawson.

Anthony Dawson, yes, I think...

I believe that's a pseudonym.

I think the magic... Well, no, but you know what? Actually, but it's interesting because that was actually a common thing with Italian filmmakers.

For selling the film overseas.

Antonio Margheriti's great talent is that he can even make the natural grandeur and majesty of Cappadocia, Turkey or Greece or wherever the heck this is, look like Styrofoam. I mean, it's a heroic accomplishment.

It might be the low resolution.

And within this cave, by the way, is what I call the Papier-Maché Throne of Death. There's literally a-

It's a good throne. It's one of a couple of really good thrones.

The throne game in this movie is pretty on point, I will say.

It is. There's some good little bursts of design, Italian design, here I say.

Yeah.

That's very satisfying.

Yor awakens at the pit, at the bottom of the place he's been thrown down in the water. Somehow, his miraculously survived, not explained how or why. It doesn't seem plausible, but who cares? It's a fantasy movie. He then proceeds to climb, to scale the towering height of this rocky cliff. And then, as he-

Which, Rep Brown did it and got stuck and had to be rescued.

Look, Rep Brown, look, I will just go on the record. Rep Brown, whatever his limitations as an actor may be, is certainly game in this movie. I mean, he's doing, we're about to talk. I don't want to skip ahead, Paul Plot, but we're about to talk about one of the greatest stunts ever put, I mean, Yakima Knut going under the stagecoach in the eponymous film, Stagecoach, has nothing on the stunt we're about to describe in this case.

The sheer imagination.

The audacity.

The unbridled.

Oh, my God.

The sunburst of creativity that it took to reach into the firmament of imagination and bring this to earth for us to witness is a marvel. It's worth the whole movie.

So, literally, Yor gets to these caves where the Cro-Mags are about to do horrible things to the captive women, including Kala, right? And, you know, Yor and Pog are trying to figure out what to do. And Yor, so help me God, this happens in a film. He grabs the corpse of a dead pterodactyl.

No, no, no.

He shoots the pterodactyl.

Out of the sky with the bow and arrow.

Yes, yes. And then he grabs the corpse of the dead pterodactyl, right? And then he uses it as an indoor hang glider, with which to heroically swoop into the middle of the Cro-Mag cave of death, kicking out the main Cro-Mag Yukar and rescuing. This is Paul, just you pick. I can't even talk anymore. I'm done.

It's incredible. It's incredible.

So so and then and then because you're because you're kind of a bastard, not only does he do this and rescue everybody, he then he then like literally, like, I don't know if he does. It's very unclear in the film how this happens, but somehow the cave starts to flood. And I think it's yours doing, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to get to that because this is this is one thing I bumped on.

I was so stoned. I.

That's OK. I'm here for you.

But the cookbook doesn't keep you.

The pterodactyl, first of all, Yor clearly is a man of many skills that the film relishes opportunities to reveal to an unsuspecting audience. Pog or Pag has basically, we think at this point, one skill, although he reveals an incredible skill in the third act of the film that no one could possibly see coming. Stay tuned for that.

It is beyond imagination. If that pterodactyl blew you away, wait till you see what these guys do in Act 3, because I think we're talking about the same thing, and it is wow.

It is jaw dropping to the degree that your jaw is going to shatter whatever floor you are standing on.

I struck oil from how far down my jaw went when I saw that.

Yeah, so Pag is established as an archer. Like if we're saying this is a D&D group or whatever, he's an older guy, though, and he's kind of like Creaky. But he's spry, surprisingly, for, you know, this whatever father figure for Kala. And yeah, but then then Yor avails himself of a bow and arrow to shoot this pterodactyl. Here's something I did not know, Javi, in any of my, let's just say rudimentary awareness of dinosaur physiology, that apparently when a dinosaur, specifically a pterodactyl or whatever, dies, it immediately enters rigor mortis. Exactly, you got it. And as stiff as a board, and somehow sufficiently light to be used as a paraglider.

It is, I mean, honestly, I thought I understood the world. I knew the Constitution of the United States. I know a little bit of world history. I have a college degree, but this is beyond imagination for me.

This is Yor's World.

Yeah, this, oh yeah, what is it? Excuse me, producer Brad, what is it again? You know, the best thing there is the drop. It's like this great epithet.

A little techno, a little electronic drop.

Anyway, so, but did you get a sense of how the caves started flooding? Did Yor do it, or was it?

Because I was not under any, let's say, pharmacological influence.

I still have pretty good recall under the influence.

Yes, remarkably so.

Swaths of this film just seemed unclear to me.

You are high-functioning, Javi. It's something I appreciate about you. So he rushes in, fights all these scary cavemen, Cro-Mag people.

I got to say, by the way, that David Leach and Shatz Dahelsky clearly learned everything they put into John Wick from this film. I mean, the fight choreography here is on a level beyond imagination.

It is enjoyably chaotic and has a lot of verve.

You know how like when you watch a Michael Bay film, the action gets so intense that it almost becomes abstract. You know, sort of like Paul Greengrass in The Bourne Ultimatum in that car chase, where it just gets so intense that it's just flashing in front of you. You don't necessarily understand the geography, but the intensity of it is so great that you're in it. It was not like that at all.

But these unsuspecting...

One moment. It was so intense that in the scene when Yor gets knocked out and then tossed off the cliff, he got hit in the face with a mallet and his face swelled up red. And so when they shot it, you couldn't see it. So these Turkish actors really got into the fighting.

Wow. Wow.

Which is part of what you're talking about. You see their level of enthusiasm.

Also a challenge when you're dealing with the multilingual or differential in language across your cast and crew and extras.

But how the hell does the cave start flooding?

We got to move on here. So first of all, when he flies in, yeah, hanging from the carcass of a stiff, dead pterodactyl.

Of the immediate rigor mortis pterodactyl. Maybe the era had a poison, a paralytic poison on it.

Maybe. Maybe. That had not occurred to me. But the evil, towering, overpowered, Cro-Mag cavemen are so startled by this sight that clearly they have never imagined, nor have any of us, that he gets the drop on them. And you think, oh, this is going to be a long sequence. He's got to go find Kala. He's got to recover the medallion. No. Right. He immediately, immediately, as soon as he like touches the ground in the side, he rescues Kala. He grabs the medallion. Like, he is, he is not messing around. He is startlingly efficient. Then he tries to kind of carry escort Kala out through there. But there are a whole lot of prisoners that's been established that have been held, captured and are screaming.

I'd like to tell the audience, we're making a lot of fun of the theme song and we're playing it a lot. And I want you to know, it's not out of disrespect for the theme song. It is because literally every time Yor does something cool in this movie, they play that clip. Like literally, like right before, as he grabs the pterodactyl, as he comes down, they're playing the song. You know, every, it's like, how could you not?

I mean, this is the thing.

Of course, Yor's World, he's the man. You gotta be reminded.

So few characters are worthy of such an epic theme song. And who among us does not wish that-

Flash Gordon.

Exactly. Who among us does not wish that their most noteworthy actions in life, day to day, could be announced and emphasized by a theme song?

Yeah, I'm reminded of something Harrison Ford said when he received the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award. They played the Raiders March as he walked on stage, and the first thing he went went, that damn music follows me everywhere. And I think it's kind of like that with Yor, you know? It's like-

Yeah.

Yeah. I kind of wish, like in Rocky III, that there was some mechanism, maybe an early music medieval village ensemble, that allowed there to be a diegetic version. Oh my God.

Of this theme. Could you imagine?

And that he would then be aware of.

A couple of guys with bone flute and coconut percussion instruments following wherever he goes and singing this. Oh, it'd be-

Maybe the mini-series.

Perhaps the only way to improve this film. Paul, so how does the cave flood? What happens?

So there's a death pit that they have to cross that has like skeletons and spikes. And they cross that and he tosses the bridge behind them, this plank to delay the pursuers.

But that still doesn't explain how the cave floods.

There's a snake pit we see at some point, a snake lake. Then Yor has a plan. He notices, he sees that there is a rocky construction of an underground dam that is holding back some body of water from flooding this entire caveman city, which is kind of a very precarious place to establish your whole place of living. And he starts taking it apart. And this is, I have to say, I have a note here, pretty spectacular miniature work. Because we get this great cave flooding sequence as he and Yala flee, Kala flee from this underground caveman city.

Yala, Gala, whatever.

As it floods behind him. But I'm like, he's going to drown all the prisoners.

Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. First of all, the village floods.

He doesn't rescue anyone but...

The village floods for approximately 137 minutes of screen time. And during the entire... Talk about your sound design, which you applauded earlier.

Yes.

The dying throws of the, not just the Cromags, but also the prisoners go on forever. And I'm going like, bro, you're like going into Ace Hunter territory here for assholery. What are you doing, Yor? Yor! Yor!

It's the one...

This is a good time to take a moment. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead.

No, no. What were you going to say? No, no, no.

Producer Brad.

What you're talking about, the miniatures.

Yes.

The director was approached, apparently, to help with the special effects for 2001 because of his experience and skill in the 60s.

Oh, wow.

Yes, because I believe he's a special effects artist.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Wow.

Producer Brad, my mind is blown.

He did not. It's unclear if he actually did it. There's articles that said he may have given advice, but I don't know at what level.

The idea of Kubrick meeting this guy reminds me of never. I can't even get into this. Wow. Can you imagine the meeting between these two directors? I imagine Kubrick picking up his viewfinder, taking it off of his neck and handing it to Anthony Dawson and saying, here, take this. You need it more than I.

I now desperately want to see that one act play in an off-Broadway black box.

Oh my God. I'll tell you another story. You go on. On Margheriti's website, his son recounts how Margheriti started. When he was young, there was a film studio nearby. Every day, he walked by the front gate at the same time the line producer drove in. Every day for three months, he said, good morning, whatever the guy's name was. After three months, the guy started saying good morning back. Soon, the guy asked his name, and then they were having coffee and lunch together, and then Margheriti was pitching his movies, and then he was making movies. So I have a feeling he's a very charming man.

Look, I gotta tell you, here's the thing. I truly enjoyed watching this film, and it's because you get the sense that people making these movies were fucking pirates. You know? I mean, it's like, and there's almost this, there's a spirit.

They're giving away with something.

Yeah, there's a spirit of this movie that you can track straight up to things like Hercules and Xena and all that, like Sam Raimi and a bunch of really weirdos just go to New Zealand and make this fucked up show that somehow connects with the world. And Yor is obviously not on that level, which tells you something about the production value of this film. But it's like, it's that sense of like, these are just fucking pirates and they're just doing this movie.

You know? I will say some of it is, there are some shots and even in, and I granted, I watched this in a 360P version on my laptop, but there are miniature shots in this flood scene and composite shots.

They're kind of great, yeah.

That I would say are better than some of the flooding shots in Superman The Movie and I worship Superman The Movie.

Wow, wow.

But there's some really solid miniature work in this sequence. But yeah, it is insane that Yor, and Kala doesn't say anything and Pog doesn't say anything, that yeah, okay, we flooded and vanquished presumably these evil, horrible cavemen.

Bit of a, yeah, and all of the prisoners from the village.

Of all the prisoners.

All right, so now they get out of there.

Yes.

And they kind of lounge.

We must traverse more weird rocky terrain.

For some reason, we actually don't know where they're headed to, right? They're just kind of, but they're going to find the woman, the medallion, right? That's the quest now, right?

Yes.

So they're supposed to rescue Kala, but now they're going to go continue to quest for the woman who lives in the hill with the, who's worshiping the god, because the medallion, right?

Yes. They've gotten Kala back, and so now the next obvious thing is, well, we have to go uncover the mystery that the Elves...

Yes, because while it is not, yeah, it is not very clearly stated, Yor wants to know who his people are. He has no idea where he came from. He just know he came from that mountain. For all we know, he came down today.

And this mystery woman has the same medallion that he does.

Yes. And that leads us to, now, so they travel a little further, and then that leads us to this weird, sort of, desert-like area. Yes. And that has that kind of weird steam coming out of the earth. And, Prudence or Brad, can we hear the exposition on this coming sequence, please?

Where does that steam come from?

There are great crevices in the earth. At the bottom of these, there must be great heat, which causes this vapor.

And the smoke?

I don't know. This is the land of the diseased, the men of the desert. They worship the god of fire. I have heard they practice magic rituals and have supernatural powers.

I'm afraid death rules this land.

This is so great! I have another quote from the scene, because Yor obviously is going to decide. Not that it takes a lot of drama for him to decide to go, because he's Yor. By the way, Rep Brown just got to say that he accomplishes the heroic act of delivering tragedy, romance, love, hate, death, and he's just really a master of this monotone delivery that is just actually quite moving. I find that it shows how stoic the character is.

Yeah, and also, this is decidedly, I mean, really, it's an episodic D&D campaign.

It really is.

It totally is. From one chapter to the next of these adventures.

It's like the Blotting and Crull. It's like, find the guy, go to the place, find the guy, get the thing, right?

But there's this surprisingly coherent and cohesive narrative spine, like superstructure, across the whole thing that we start doing in each chapter.

How long did you have to dig to find that?

No, because each chapter kind of gives us another little rhesus pieces that lead us across the path and entice us and starts broadening and enriching the mythology of the world. From a world building standpoint, in terms of feeding a narrative, I actually think this film, and again, I know we've suffered through some real garbage, and everything is relative. I love this freaking movie. I think it works really well.

It's interesting you say chapter. Does this make you want to read the graphic novel?

Or watch the four-hour miniseries, my friend?

Yes, and yes.

Well, look, I have to assume that they put all the best action sequences in the movie. I don't think there's any hidden gold in the miniseries. I'm going to assume that all the-

The miniseries is probably a lot of talking.

A lot of talking about- Yeah, exactly. So now-

A lot of travelogue.

Yes. Now, look, Yor is going to go see the woman.

Yeah, he wants to find the fire queen or whoever.

And this leads to just one of my favorite monologues in one of my favorite things in this film. Producer Brad May, we're here, clip number seven.

Listen, I'll be back before daybreak.

Yor, please don't go to that woman. I'm afraid only evil will come of it.

You both stay here. Don't worry, Kala, and don't try to follow me.

Last night I had a dream and I saw you helpless, surrounded by fire.

Wow. So now Kala apparently is psychic, which is not touched clairvoyant, something that is not touched on ever again. She's also not a good clairvoyant because that doesn't happen.

Well, and also, like, we didn't know this. Like, she didn't mention this earlier or anything. Also, yeah.

But also, Paul, they have no relationship. They do now because they kiss.

They immediately kiss after this. And yeah, because they've been making eyes at each other a lot.

I suppose.

They're both, I mean, they're both hot.

But this is the most dialogue they've exchanged the entire movie.

And scantily clad.

That is true.

And in extreme circumstances.

But now the best is goodbye.

And now then Yor has to go forward alone.

And as Yor goes into the Land of the Dead, the best.

This desert city.

Paul, I recently saw a movie called Bone Tomahawk.

Oh yes, which we premiered at Fantastic Fest.

Have you noticed how like suddenly Bone Tomahawk breaks out in the middle of this movie?

It's a little Bone Tomahawk this movie.

Yeah, it's like these cannibal natives who were completely died and very scantily clad, but their bodies are painted white.

They're dusty and they're wearing rags and they are. They're kind of like these weird desert primitives. They're known as sand people. So they're this movie's version of the sand people.

I wonder where they got that name.

But with, let's say, a more Mad Maxian costume.

Well, I think they're the sand people in that they actually have sand on them, which is like something that you didn't see. Like honestly, an improvement over Star Wars. They were the sand people. They didn't have sand on them. They looked quite clean. These people, you can tell they're in the sand.

Yes. They're also fire people because they wheeled lit torches.

Leading to one of the greatest set pieces in this film.

Yeah. And fulfilling, very quickly fulfilling, Kala's dream vision. He is surrounded by fire, by all these helpless as these people converge and is captured by Annette.

But it's the word helpless that's really the crux here. It's the word helpless because is he helpless? He's Yor. And Yor, he's the man.

He's only momentarily appeared to be helpless.

I feel like producer Brad and I have finally achieved the mind meld I've been hoping for in the 45 years of our friendship.

I have not. I brief, brief point of personal privilege.

I do go on.

I have not looked to see if Yor's World is on iTunes, the song, have either of you. And if it's not, producer Brad, could we avail ourselves?

It's on Apple Music. I don't know if iTunes for purchase, but it's on Apple Music.

Paul, I am still in my refractory period from the orgasmic experience of knowing that the song even exists.

I know.

So I was literally paralyzed, paralyzed. I couldn't go look for it.

I need it with me all the time.

Yes.

At the top of my playlist. Yes. As soon as possible.

If you're looking, the artist is Oliver Onions. That's the name the two Italian brothers took.

That's not his real name.

Well, that's the name of their band. It's two brothers. And that is just like those two guys with the KLF, you know, like this is, I mean, yeah.

But then off camera, we hear a woman's voice beckoning.

Yes.

Bring him to me.

Oh dear. Yes. And that leads to another expo dump.

And more caves. We go into more new caves.

New caves that also look like Styrofoam because of the magic of Italian filmmaking.

Well, no, these were filmed in Rome on a set.

That's why I can't tell. They're so good at mixing the real caves and the foam. It's kind of like, like if you want to do a modern design house, which doesn't have a lot of money, right?

Keeping you on your toes.

You buy a bunch of Ikea stuff, and then you put a couple of designer stuff, and then you just kind of mix it. So nobody can tell what the expensive shit and what the Ikea shit.

You gotta listen to the Red Brown Commentary if you learn a lot.

This is Italian craftsmanship at its finest.

Oh, producer Brad, my mind is blown. So that leads us to the eighth clip that we picked from this film. May we please hear it in all of its majesty?

Well, who does he meet?

Well, okay.

Yeah, well, well, well, well, well, well.

Well, Paul, I think our audience, much like you and I, assume that he's meeting the fire woman who lives in the cliff who they worship as a goddess, right?

And a goddess. She is. Is she not?

She's not unattractive.

Well, so he is. Let's just say this film does not suffer from a lack of attractive Italian women.

No, it does not.

And so he is brought in.

But this woman is Turkish, I believe. She's a Turkish model.

Attractive Mediterranean ladies, that's how we say it.

She's very attractive. No disrespect. So he's brought in by the Sand People into the fire caves. But inexplicably, we don't just see this woman in silhouette waiting for him in her whatever.

Obligatory diaphanous garments.

And her kind of meditation hall or chamber. She is facing a wall of ice. Within which there are shadowy silhouettes of human looking figures that seem to be frozen inside.

Wow.

The wall of ice, which is cool. It's evocative and it's cool. And then, yes, she turns to him and she is also wearing.

A medallion.

A medallion like yours.

That looks just like yours.

Yes.

May we have clip number eight, producer Brad, please.

Where did you get that medallion? What does it mean?

They say, I came here together with those men. There, caught in the ice. Why I am alive and they are dead, I don't know. And why the ice has formed in this parched desert is a mystery without an answer. But the little water that comes from it is vital to these people. And they worship me as a divine goddess.

But now you're living proof that we represent a race. Together we will find an answer.

As with so many things in this movie, the reason why is a mystery. And you know what, whenever I write high fantasy again in my career, I'm just going to just answer everything like that. The reason why is a mystery. Why not? And we never hear anything else about this ice again, do we?

No, the universe is a mysterious place. And some mysteries are meant to be mysteries, or at least for the span of the story that we find ourselves in. Not every mystery has to be revealed.

In so many ways, watching the movie Yor is kind of like life, man. It's like, you know, things happen and you can't explain them. And you just got to move on because you're never going to get it. You know, you can spend, look, you and I could spend a lifetime trying to figure out the mystery of these ice caves in Yor, but Yor, the movie tells us, there's no answer.

There's no answer. There may or may not be seeds planted for sequels, for other books, for maybe something, another part of the mini-series. We don't know, but it doesn't matter.

You're the way of water, you're fire and ice. I mean, yeah, it's like a fire and ash, yeah.

But I love the little short brush strokes of world building here that are unique and tantalizing. And also the fact that these sand people subsist on the hydration from the very slowly melting underground glacier.

Which means that those weird figures inside are probably decomposing inside the water and that's why they're so deranged. They're getting human.

They're frozen. They're intact. Who knows if they could be revived like Steve Rogers. But the other thing that then comes out of this exchange is the twist.

Which is the second tie to Captain America then.

That's right.

Because Frozen and Ice.

That's right.

Because Rep Brown famously played Captain America in the 1970s TV movies, right?

Yes.

Or 80s TV movies.

And who directed the first one, Javi?

Rod Holcomb.

Rod Holcomb.

By the way, a guy who directed the pilot for ER, the greatest television pilot of all time, and Captain America, the Captain America TV movie. There you go.

But so there's this revelation where Yor thinks he's going, again, he's going to this fire queen who they, the sand people worship, sand slash fire people worship. But she is also their prisoner. They will not let her leave.

Yes, because they worship her. Why would you want to let your goddess leave?

Yeah, and they believe, now making matters even worse, that they must appease the gods by sacrificing any and all strangers.

Yep, in one of those great arbitrary rules that exist in these fantasy movies.

And again, this is the law of the land here.

You got beaten in battle, she's technically there, so you're here now, we got to stand.

Yor presents an alternative, which is, okay, they could sacrifice me and you could have made a prisoner, or maybe we could escape. Like, maybe, what if we just escape? And she's like, oh, no, that's no.

But... No, we can't do that. No, just escape. What is that even? What's that word even? Escapé? What's that word?

Meanwhile, we do get this brief cut away. Kala is getting impatient. And we also are starting to get this sense. Kala is not without, let's say, character flaws or dimensions that include a real jealous streak.

She's kind of psychotically jealous with very little reason or relationship to back it up.

And so she's already harboring this burgeoning jealousy that he's going to go find this fire queen, this woman, and maybe she's of his people, and that he's going to want to go with her instead of him.

Oh, Kala's no dummy. She knows which way the wind is blowing.

Yeah, she knows what's up. And so she is now then trying to convince Pagg that they should go after Yor even though he told them definitively to stay behind. Right. But she finally convinces him. But mainly, I think she's motivated by jealousy. Yes. And then we cut back as Yor is being prepared for sacrifice.

Is this clip number nine or is this clip? No, this is the clip number nine happens later.

That's late.

Oh, that's later.

That's when it gets really, ooh.

That's when the shit goes the full shot and it rhymes. Yeah, no, we go Bridgerton on its ass.

Let's get there, Paul.

But also, Paul, we need to get also past one of the greatest action secrets of the film, which is that in order to escape, what does Yor do? What does he do? What every filmmaker does who saw Star Wars but can't do the lightsaber, he gets a sword.

A fire sword.

A naming sword. Fire sword.

Because yes, we don't have lightsabers. But yeah, as he's being led and prepared for sacrifice and he's trying to, again, like, wink, wink, nudge, nudge the queen, what's her name, Rola, to like, let's get out of here. And she's kind of, whatever. And finally he's like, you know, fuck it. And he fights back to these sand people who I guess are not used to strangers fighting back.

He dips the sword in one of the flaming, like, there's these pits of petroleum, and he kind of dips the sword there, and that's the sword now. He's on fire. So it's a fire sword.

There are gifts of this that are glorious, of him then wielding the fire sword against these sand fire people, taking them all out. Then suddenly, and maybe this is because the gods are angry that he's not going to be sacrificed to him. I think that's what we're led to believe, or the subtext. There's an earthquake that starts happening, and shake, everything is shaking. And a stalactite, especially the camera, Yes, and a stalactite loosens from the ceiling of the roof of the cave, and hits poor Roa on the head. And you're like, oh, is she dead? No, she's kind of knocked out. Yor carries her out as the cave is collapsing on all the sand people.

Again, like a whole population killed by a geological cataclysm unleashed by Yor, when literally he could have just snuck away. Come on, guy. But then, a bit of a genocidare.

I was going to say, he has a little bit of a problem being very casual with the lives, anyway, of indigenous peoples. And he emerges with the scantily clad fire queen who's worshiped as a goddess by her now deceased and buried alive people. And Kala is immediately fuming with jealousy at the sight of competition in the form of Roa's hotness.

And shit just got real in this movie. Like literally, this is the closest this film comes to drama.

Oh, it is full, a telenovela.

Yeah, Mexican soap opera crazy right now, you bet. Yeah, here we go.

It is so good. So then they make camp, or they travel aways down.

They make more than camp, Paul, if you know what I'm saying. Hello.

Yes. We get that we're going to need a lot more hemp before we're through line.

Oh, we're getting a lot more here.

Which is for a lot of reasons.

I don't know why.

Here's a thing that strikes me very clearly before it is articulated by anyone that it is part of the rules of this world. Is it not, and I think this is a testament to our lead actor's abilities. I find it just beautifully and problematically clear that the only thing on yours mind at this moment and going forward for a good stretch is he wants a threesome.

Oh, yeah.

With Kala and Ra. He feels he has hit the jackpot with this daughter of the queen of this other village and this other fire queen who's worshiped by as a goddess. And he's got both of them. He saved both of them. He has got it made.

This is a man who has BDE and he is not ashamed of it. And he's going to play it.

Kala has not signed up for that. So she wants them all to herself. They take a raft down a river to a waterfall setting, which is appropriately romantic. And then they split up because Pog and Kala are making dinner while Roa is putting the moves on Yor.

Yeah.

And they start making out.

Let's just say the choice meats are heating up here.

Yes. And meanwhile, a very impatient and suspicious and not paranoid, but reasonably jealous Kala.

Has the following exchange with Pog.

Gets tired of waiting for them.

Let's hear it.

I'll go look for them. The meat is burning.

It's your jealousy that's burning. Among our people, a man can have many wives. So why can't Yor have two?

I mean, but you know what? Here's the thing, if she just went, well, I don't appreciate the law, he'd go like, never mind.

Yeah.

He's a man of no conviction.

Again, no disrespect to anyone's life choices in the privacy of their own, you know, world whatsoever. But there should be equality, reciprocity, if that is the law or the standard. And here in this world, it clearly is patriarchal and only men are allowed, it seems to have multiple wives.

That we know of. That we know of. We don't know. We don't know there isn't a tribe of Volvalinas across the way over there.

One can only hope that that again, maybe awaits us.

The Volvalinas are the all-female tribe from Fury Road. If you if you if you know, you know, if you know, you know.

Thank you for clarifying. And then. What happens?

What does the I don't even know? The next thing I have is a Cormag's attack again. You tell me what happened.

No, Kala attacks.

She well, that's right.

Yeah, catfight, right? Yeah, yeah.

She's fearing that that's right. Yeah, it's taken away. She can run.

She goes to full John Collins and Linda Evans in Dynasty, right?

Yeah, yeah. No, she goes beyond that. She attempts to murder Roa. She goes full on murder mode to take out the Fire Goddess Queen, because she does not want to share Yor, much less lose him to her. And so they are in combat, and Roa does not see this coming, and she's just like fighting for her life, and they're like rolling around, but like Collis clearly trying to murder.

And you think Joan Collins didn't want to do that to Linda Evans in Dynasty? Because I feel like even validated my emotions here, Paul.

No, that's fair. I just don't think they got into it this viscerally.

Got it, got it.

On camera. Then the scary Cro-Mag cavemen, who we thought had been vanquished by the flood that took out all the prisoners, but maybe the prisoners are also some survivors.

I feel like the Cro-Mags are what happens whenever this movie runs out of plot. They just send in the Cro-Mags.

They apparently have been tracking Yor and Vala, and they attack.

In a subplot that was clearly in the mini-series, but not in the film.

Yeah, out of nowhere. And Yor defeats Ukhan, the leader. Yes.

Ukhan or? I thought it was Ukhar.

Ukhar, Ukhar.

Well, I like Ukhan, because it's like, you can. You can, too.

Yeah, but you cannot, however, in...

He cannot. Oh, God. Now, Paul, I want you to leave it to me to talk about the incredible cameo appearance of a movie star that happens in the next scene.

But we have the end of the scene, and we have the death of a character.

Oh, that's right. That's right. We do need to honor that, yes, indeed. But I just want to make sure that you're... I just want to make sure that I'm the one who talks about the incredible cameo appearance of a truly, truly phenomenal... I'll get to that in a second.

It is a divine gift. It is.

It really is. I think you know what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah.

Roa has been mortally wounded.

Oh, poor Roa.

In the attack.

We hardly knew her. Like, we literally hardly knew her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she is being cradled by a heartbroken Yor.

Yor.

Yor.

And she is sharing her final words with him, which include a vision that she has had of an island castle where their people come from that he must seek and find. And then in a startling gesture of forgiveness, because I don't think it's entirely clear that she was mortally wounded by the cavemen.

Could have been Cala doing that to her.

Or by Cala.

Yeah.

I think at the very least, it was probably a combination of both.

I think that Cala started it and the cavemen kind of finished her off.

I think Cala is not too torn up to see.

And then Cala is going like, oh, it was the Chromaggs. I was just slapping. It was just a little dynasty slap fight.

Yeah. She got a deus ex-caveman to take out her competition. She gives her medallion to Cala.

A shocking gesture of forget- It's downright Christian, almost messianic, really. It is.

And it does strike me in this last act that this is a figure of divinity.

It is indeed.

And then her last words to Yor.

Oh, her last words, producer Brad, please.

Kiss me. Kiss me awkwardly.

My gods are calling.

Did she say kiss me awkwardly? Because that's what it sounded like.

What?

It sounded like kiss me awkwardly.

Kiss me quickly. My gods are calling me.

Well, I could also imagine kiss me awkwardly. They barely know each other. I mean, I know they fucked earlier, but I mean, it's still a good thing that there's a lot of people around, you know, like it could be awkward. I don't know. Kiss me. No.

All right.

I'll stop saying that on dates. Okay. Nevermind. She dies.

Then we got, we cut ahead to the grave.

They are given a gift.

They see her. They leave a flower. They depart.

Paul, Paul, Paul, no, you've missed it entirely.

What did I miss?

The greatest cameo appearance in this film is in the funeral scene. The hench from Spinal Tap is her headstone. It literally, do you remember in Spinal Tap? I don't think the problem is with the choreography. I think the problem is that we had an 18 inch stone hench that was in danger of being trampled on by a dwarf. That is her headstone. It is exactly the same. It is 18 inches tall. It's a little stone hench. I was like, holy shit. They found the prop in a warehouse and used it. It's nuts. It's appalled. How could you? Oh, wow.

Okay. That is uncanny.

It is a gift. It is a gift.

It is. It is. It is. It is a wonderful, intentional or not Easter egg. I was still wallowing in grief for-

Obviously, you were so struck by the death of Aurora.

Our hot Turkish goddess, Roa, taken from us too soon.

Now, Paul, are you a Roa man or are you a Kala man? I'm curious.

I mean, we still haven't met everyone.

That's right. There's also a scientist who looks like she's from Space 1990. Oh, God. I don't want to.

Yeah.

Let's keep going. Let's keep going. Because then, what happens, Paul? Give it to me, Paul Plot.

We go to the beach.

Go to the beach.

It's like time to go to the beach.

It's a celebration of life, Paul. It's not going to the beach. It's a celebration of life.

Kala has never seen the sea. Right. They ride on the beach and she says, It's so big. It's more water than she's ever seen. Yeah.

She's like Chani from Dune. Yeah.

Yor has to tell her, Don't drink the seawater. It's salty.

The things they chose to keep in this, like what was there in the four hour cut of this, that this was what they had to choose to keep?

I love it. I just love these little nuggets of random weird joy.

Because Paul, that's how you reveal character. This is how he cares for her.

Yes. And then they clearly, and some of this has got to be cut.

Also Paul, do you know how he knows the water is too salty to drink?

Because he has seen the ocean before.

Because it's Yor's World. That will never get old.

Probably to some listeners, but...

Oh, Javi, don't worry. This is going to follow you outside this podcast. I will make sure.

We may have found a successor. Dare I say... To the fact factor? You got it.

You know, Summer of 83 demanded that there be a challenge to the throne.

And in the home stretch of the summer... Oh my god.

Okay.

We have found one. So, they have fish. They campfire. They're roasting some fish for lunch. It looks good. But then, what do they hear, Javi?

They hear screams.

They hear screams and a roar.

Yeah.

And it's been established. Dinosaur's Roam.

This is a prehistoric. This is a prehistoric wasteland, yeah.

And we get.

And I gotta say, and Paul, I gotta say, not only do we get, and I love, Paul, you know, you know something big's gonna happen in the movie because your intonation throughout the span of this podcast is when you go, and we get. And Paul, you know what my favorite dinosaur is? It's not T-Rex. It's not Spinosaurus. It's Dimetrodon. That's my favorite dinosaur. And for once, my desire, my wish comes true. Something they've never done in Jurassic Park for me, those fuckers. And I get a Dimetrodon fight. And I was so pleased by this, Paul. It's so pleased.

It's badass.

Because it's so good. It's so good.

We thought, oh, maybe they were just using up the big dinosaur.

Yeah.

Just to get us involved in the movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they spent their money on that. No, they were saving an even more majestic, elaborate, visually dynamic and exciting dinosaur.

You know how much I hate to be vulgar. I thought they'd blown their wad in Act 1, but it turns out that dinosaur Bukkake was coming. It was phenomenal. Paul, Kermit the Dimetrodon is a...

Is attacking some young, a trio of sibling villagers, this very fetching young teen girl or young woman. It's not established how old she is. And then her younger siblings that she apparently is the caretaker for. And they're screaming, Yor and Pag and Kala, team up.

Team up.

And defeat it.

And the best part of it is, you know, you're expecting Yor to deliver the coup de grace here, but what's really interesting is Yor, Yor kind of gets in it with the dinosaur and he's holding the dinosaur's mouth and he's getting slimed by the dinosaur's forked tongue, which is a beautiful detail. Yes. You know, like he's really getting slimed like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters. And it's Pog, finally. He finally uses a bow and arrow and he brings down the dimetrodon with an arrow through the eye. It is fucking epic.

And then Pala stabs it. That's right. It's a team effort. And there's something very satisfying also that as much toxic masculinity as this film has, and it's legion. Yor is not above accepting help. No, he's not. From an older, less fry guy, and a very capable woman. And I think this speaks well of his character. And thankfully, the village youngsters are very grateful and lead them to a resort.

Yes, there's a little, a very nice beachfront resort happening here. Yeah. And also, but also just so that you understand that, really Yor is just one consciousness-raising session with Gloria Steinem, Away From Full Feminism.

Yeah.

They get to the village and one of the village elders has the following exchange with Yor. Shall we, shall we hear it, Producer Brad?

According to our custom, Tarita's life now belongs to you. She will be your mate.

Take me with you, stranger.

You're a sweet child, Tarita, but I already have a woman.

I mean, how respectful of Kala is that, that, you know, she's a child, but I have a woman, you know? I think that, I think that we're really seeing the birth of a kind of enlightened masculinity here. No.

This scene, this whole scene in sequence is amazing on so many levels.

This is insane.

It's like, yeah. So yeah, they're led across this rocky cliff to this other side of this beach where we find this beautiful beach village, this idyllic resort that could be this Yor's World's version of the White Lotus.

And the patriarch, if I may, the patriarch of this village is Joe Exposition.

Yes.

With no prompting whatsoever.

Yeah.

He takes us to a cave where there has been a large machine has crashed there.

Well, but the setup for this, the setup for this is very clever because as they're walking in... Really? Is it?

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. There's, I appreciate the thought and the care of the setup for this. They're led over this cliff or this like rocky, whatever, outcropping to this other section of the beach that is this cove where the resort, the village, the beach village is. And Yor, being a very attentive and tactically minded, you know, warrior, notices high up, there are guards on watch, but they are...

Oh, that's right. Yes.

They're watching the skies. Yes. And he asks, why are the guards watching the sky?

When there's dimetrodons running around.

They should be watching for dimetrodons. And he's told they're watching for the gods.

Yes. Yes.

And first, you're like, oh, is this metaphorical? Is there just like, they're just believing and waiting for gods to arrive? And they're just like, you know, they want to make sure they don't miss out. But no, Kai reveals that after the exchange of trying to pawn off his eldest daughter to Yor. And one thing I just got to mention on this. I mean, I love this scene. One thing, there's a moment of suspense. Because Kala's just like, God, I just got rid of this other composition.

I just nearly had to kill the god.

I just had to murder this goddess. Now I've got this young-

Now it's a younger woman.

Spry. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it. But no, Yor has, I guess-

I told you, it is the birth of enlightened masculinity right here. We're watching it. It's almost like in 2001, when the monolith teaches the hominids how to use tools.

Yes.

That's what we're seeing here. We're seeing the birth of consciousness, my friend.

He is evolving.

He is.

Now, the line, take me with a stranger, has come to mean something to your fans. Red Brown says, when he goes to signings and screenings, people show up with that on their T-shirt.

God, I love that. Take me with you, stranger.

Yes.

Oh, boy.

Well, you know, it is Yor's World.

I don't know if we got to the end of this clip, but when he turns it down and says, I have my own wife, then Kai does say, well, at least accept our hospitality, which is very gracious.

Again, again, another example of how not legalistic these cave people are. Everywhere in this movie, people are going, according to our way, she's now your woman. No, she's not. Never mind. Yeah, okay. She's now their woman. Well, I don't buy that. Never mind. You know, my law says this. Well, I don't buy your law. Never mind.

Well, you know why? Oh my God.

Producer Brad, how much do you charge for life coaching?

Wow. Wow. He's now doing it unprompted of his own volition.

We created a monster.

It's called inflicting.

We are so Javi. We're so strong.

Open the pod bay doors, Hal.

Producer Brad has attained sentience and autonomy.

This is the best day of my life.

Okay. So then, Kai regales them, yes, about what is the deal with the Watch of the Sky for the Gods? Is that a God actually landed Yes. on a fiery burk, and all that remains is a strange object. And in this moment, with this one singular prop, in this weirdly colorfully walled cave, the film expands its scope of genre into sci-fi.

It is like literally, and I have brought it up once before, but it is literally like, we've been watching this movie, you've been hanging out with your buddy, and then your buddy does DMT, and then they come out, and the Tibetan Book of the Dead is completely understandable to them, and they explain it to you. This is like a change in consciousness. It is cosmic, it is spiritual, it is like this movie says, oh, you thought we were this genre? Guess what? We contain multitudes. Look upon our grandeur.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, you've had two acts of a spaghetti fantasy.

Yeah, yeah.

But you know what? We've been saying spaghetti sci-fi for the third act. You know, Paul, get ready. You've seen nothing.

You know why an actor must never show you his top? Because when they do, it's the last half hour of this movie. It is like literally this movie has been saving it for us.

There is so much more. It's incredible.

You thought Paper Mache Triceratops was the top? Fuck you. You thought Chromax was the top? Fuck you. You think Kermit the Dimetrodon is the top? Fuck you.

Everything was just like a warm up. It was just like, yeah, we're just kind of going through getting things revved up.

You, as the audience, are like Jon Snow. You know nothing.

Yes. Yes. Now, are we, dear listener, are we going to end this episode at a very reasonable length now and leave you in suspense and make this our second two-part episode? No, we're not.

You are not going to finish on time. We're going to do this on time.

We're going to finish on time as we race to revelations that you cannot possibly imagine in your most chemically-assisted fever dreams.

Because that night...

So first, what is the device? What is this thing? It's a very inscrutable piece of technology that is clearly...

It's this metal box, yeah.

Inorganic, it has been constructed by technology. It is some kind of strange technology, but it is inscrutable. It is mysterious. And...

I sure... I could not screwed that to save my life.

No, no. So then, they have a campfire feast, but this is now... The seed has been planted. The poor, young Tarita still clearly has the hots for Yor, to no avail. She entices Yor to follow her to the beach, to see something, which does not sit super well with Kala. She gets suspicious again. But then Yor, again, in an expression of his evolution and his consideration for his burgeoning relationship...

He is becoming a better man in front of our eyes.

Jess, hey, Kala, you should come along and join him. He's not going to go alone with the... So they all go to the beach.

I mean, Kai was looking kind of sketchy anyway, so yeah, I get that.

Yeah, a little bit. But meanwhile, Pog, Pug, Pug, Pig...

Pug, Pug, Pig, Margaret, yeah, go on.

He cannot let this object go that he is seen in the cave. And he hears something. He thinks he hears something. And he goes to the cave. And what happens, Javi?

I don't know. You tell me. I'm not sure. You tell me.

It beeps. It starts beeping.

Oh, that's right. Because this is the prelude to the great set piece that happens completely off screen.

Not entirely. The village is attacked from above.

Above by the gods.

Lasers.

Lasers.

Lasers start lasering on the village, setting the village, this idyllic, perfect spa refuge of a beach village, these thatched roof huts and whatnot aflame. People are getting killed. Kai is killed tragically. Meanwhile, Pog is tantalized by this mysterious project in the Cape that starts speaking.

Well, that's just as the offscreen UFO attack is happening.

Yes.

We are given this gift of the box comes to life.

And it says five words repeatedly. Eagle to M1, mission completed. Eagle to M1, mission completed.

Mission completed. But it's so much better when we do it.

And then Pog is saying, damn, talking box. Or no, maybe Yor says that later. I don't remember. Someone says, damn, talking box. It's very satisfying.

Which, by the way, is this film's equivalent of you damn dirty apes? Like, damn, talking box!

That's the thing. That's the thing. This is clearly a Planet of the Apes rip.

Oh yeah.

Okay? But what's cool is it's not saved for the end of the movie to tantalize you as this like Twilight Zone ending twist. It's the set up for the whole third act.

It is.

And I love that. And it's also that this movie's been saving so much that has not been spoiled. And I only had a vague sense of, and I feel bad that we're spoiling anything. Honestly, I kind of want to tell listeners, if you have not seen Yor, pause this podcast right now and go frickin watch Yor. And then come back for the third act. Because it's like, oh, we always spoil stuff. In the history of Multiplex Overthruster's spoilage, we've never spoiled anything like we're about to spoil the third act of Yor.

Do you dare deprive our audience of, well, let's just do it. So Paul, it turns out that literally there's been an airborne starfighter assault on this village with lasers. And we're discovering that. Well, because, so basically, well, I can't even, please, please.

There's tragedy. So Kai, the village leader and elder, and he's a young elder, has been killed. They need a new leader. Tarita pleads with Yor, but he says, no, my destiny carries me elsewhere. The other thing is that Tarita and the villagers are all like, oh, the gods have attacked us. Why did the gods do this? Yor says, this is a great line, they're not gods. Gods couldn't be this cruel. I'll find them and avenge Kai and his people.

Yep, that's right.

So now we have a new mission or quest on top of the existing quest.

So late into the movie too, which is kind of interesting. Yes. It's like, you know, to have a quest handoff in a movie like this is ballsy.

There are stakes on top of stakes that had been delivered that didn't need to be, but I think-

As Frank Kerber would say, plans within plans, my friend.

Yeah.

Plans within plans.

But then Tarita offers another glimmer of expository wisdom relating that our fishermen talk of a mysterious island, always surrounded by violent storms. If you feel it could be the one you seek, because he's shared, he's trying to seek this island, the castle that Roa, the goddess who died, told him this is where their people are from. So this might be the same one that the fishermen spoke of. If you think it could be the one you seek, you can take my father's boat to take you there.

Yes.

So now the movie is the conti.

Like, look, she wants to go with Yor and Yor basically says, suck it up. Now your people need a leader. And I think that's you, which is again, another really nice sign of evolving consciousness from Yor.

Yes.

He tells Tarita, no, you can't just go and be my second wife. Your people need a leader.

Right. Yeah. You can't be Moana. You can't leave the beach and go follow adventure. You now, the mantle of your father and the leadership of your village has now fallen to you.

I think it's time you knew the village of Mata Nui is all you need.

Yeah.

You know, yeah.

There's no how-how.

And no one leaves. And no one leaves.

You know, that we know of. But yeah, but you know, got a good life there except for the damn alien attack. So Yor, Kala and Pag.

And you know, you know, I bet that the alien attack was not in the listing. You know, they were like, oh, hey, look at this resort. Let's buy it. Oh, didn't mention the alien attacks.

It's probably a lawsuit. They did not mention that on Airbnb. They set sail on the Contiki, basically. Yes, it is this gloriously constructed kind of South Pacific, indigenous looking sea-worthy small boat. And very quickly, then they encountered the foreshadowed storm. Yor is knocked overboard into the roiling sea. And so our team is separated and shipwrecked on the island. But then we see that Yor is being observed in a high-tech crystal ball monitor.

Like one of those plasma balls from Spencer's Gifts with the plasma. Yeah, exactly.

It's a really cool...

Again, in the 80s, that shit was high-tech, by the way.

It was. I spent many, many mall visits caressing the plasma ball at Spencer's Gifts. And coveting one that I would never have. It still haunts my dreams. But I love this, that in this transition, this handoff, from fantasy to sci-fi, we get this prop that takes the iconography of the fantasy trope of a crystal ball, but it is a high-tech surveillance...

It is a high-tech surveillance device, yeah...

.sci-fi device.

It is part of the genius of this film. I mean, they are literally just blending genres in a way that is, you know...

Italians, man! Italians are awesome!

Yeah, it's like Thomas Pynchon saw this and learned some shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And who is watching Yor?

Okay, now here's the thing...

Who has been saved until the third act for us to meet?

Overlord.

The Overlord.

The Overlord. Now, here's the thing I love about The Overlord, and I read this. So when I went to film school, we were shown a very serious and high-minded British art film about... That was a film about homosexuality in the 1970s and about some of the political troubles going on in the UK. This was called Sunday Bloody Sunday. And the movie starts Peter Finch and Glenda Jackson and Murray Head, who would become famous to us in the 80s for singing One Night in Bangkok in the chess album. And it turns out that the actor who played the Overlord is actually the inspiration for the bisexual lover of Peter Finch in this movie, which was directed by John Schlesinger, who is who this actor had an affair with. And it's just kind of amazing that these two movies could have such a literally the most high minded film school movie ever. And Yor, The Hunter From The Future. This is what joins them together. And it is it's great. It's just for some reason that plot point that that concept is glorious to me.

And he is feasting.

Oh, my God.

Every syllable.

Yep. Yep.

Of every line he has.

Absolutely. And it's absolutely.

Oh, it's delicious.

No, it is like literally. Look, I wish I could have I wish I could go to a party with this guy and like Brian Blessed and, you know, yeah, just listen to them all talk.

But yeah, so so the overlord is it observes he's reached the outer limits of my territory. A decision must be made. A very ominous statement by someone. We don't know who, but somebody dispatches these these black armored. First, we think they're soldiers.

Yeah.

They have a vaguely look like a vague cross between a stormtrooper and Darth Vader.

Also, but they also look a little bit like Dark Helmet, and they also look a little bit like Darth. They also look a little bit like Darth Nader from Hardware Wars. Do you remember that?

Yes.

Yes. But with a little, again, a little Italian design flare. And the whole aesthetic of the interiors, of the setting and everything that we're in, we're getting a whole new world in the third act of this film, which I.

This is so vaguely medieval, because if you look at Overlord's clothing, he's clearly wearing like a breastplate that's clearly taken from a medieval film.

He's wearing Dr. Doom gauntlets, armored gauntlets and then like regalia, like medieval regalia. Yeah, he's taken on the accoutrements of this world for himself.

And the Nuttstorm troopers proceed to stun Yor.

Yeah, well, first they attack. And again, there's a gif of this. They attack Yor. And in one of the brilliant ways that this film chooses to reveal that these are not soldiers. They're fricking robots.

Robots.

Yor beheads one.

Oh my God, he doesn't just behead it. It's like he hits it with a rock. And I actually have this here because it's like literally Yor punches a mannequin's head clean off. Yeah. And look, I haven't punched a lot of mannequins, but I gotta assume that, okay, it's not a person. It's not a real robot. But it's clearly a mannequin. I mean, it's clearly just, but I mean, it seems like it takes a fair bit of strength to knock a mannequin's block off.

Not yet knowing it's a robot, he wails on this attacker's head like he's in a batting cage. I love that. And just decapitates the hell out of this robot.

It is one of the more spectacular decapitations in cinema.

It's so satisfying. Yeah. It's really great. But then he's-

Especially because the robot is a mannequin and it's literally not moving. It's just standing there waiting for the blow. It's just sublime.

Yes. So he- So but then he's outnumbered. The androids converge. They zap him and capture him. Meanwhile, Overlord is now also observing Kala and Pog, who have separately shipwrecked on the beach.

Yes.

And he instructs his death robots. I want them both captured and brought here. Yes.

Alive.

Alive. Now, Yor wakes up in the layer of a character I'm calling Dr. Space Woman.

I have her as Hot Space Doctor.

Hot Space Doctor. You know, whichever- Paul, you pick it.

Whichever you choose. Whichever you choose.

I mean, they all apply. Dr. Spichewoman.

Ina.

Ina, yes. She quickly becomes smitten with Yor and provides even more exposition, which is that she proceeds to show us a flashback. She says, we know everything about you. Not only does she know everything about you, she knows everything about Yor, including his provenance. She shows him in the magical Spencer's Gifts ball of prediction. She shows him a flashback of his youth. What's really interesting is the kid who plays Yor is wearing the same wig as Rep Brown. It's so big. It's insane. They didn't get a child-sized wig. They just stuck the Rep Brown wig on a kid. Just to make sure you got it, right? It's amazing. Yes.

And Ina, who has, let's say, somewhat Thunderbirds-esque hair.

She looks like she walked out of a Jerry Anderson movie straight up. She is like you stick her in an episode of UFO and she's right there. Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally.

She then again, we are regaled with such fountains of exposition.

Oh, producer Brad, may we please hear, finally, the mystery of Yor's provenance delivered with very little dramatic effort on his part. Shall we? Let's hear it.

And she says all this comes from his medallion. It's been encoded on this.

That's right. Yes. That's right.

All right.

Here you go.

Your name is Galahan and you're the son of the rebel Asgard. Your ship was destroyed when you left many years ago. Your father was banished and he took you with him. How you survived the explosion and grew up in the outside world is a mystery.

It's a mystery. Again, it's a mystery.

Yeah. But the whole movies of him as a kid with his parents, he gets to see his parents. He starts remembering some things. There's somehow footage of him as an adult training in his early exploits as Yor. No explanation of how he went from Galahan to Yor, like where that name came from. It doesn't matter. But yeah, she hasn't been dying of the same people.

Do you know why it doesn't matter, Paul?

Because this is... Oh, dear God.

Is his name Galahan or Galahad?

He's Galahad.

It's Galahan. Let me just explain why.

Because his father, I thought, was Asgard, but he's actually Asgarn. So of course, he's Galahan from Asgard.

Asgar is how I had to read it down.

I thought it was Asgar.

Maybe it's Asgar.

Look, look, I know that fantasy naming conventions are funky, but even I, with my well-known cruelty, would not name my child Asgar.

Fair enough. I wrote it down as A-S-K-A-R. But I don't know. We'll look it up. It's probably in the novel or whatever. Subtitles on the Blu-ray. But I think because this movie is undeniably genius.

It is.

So clearly, it is metaphysically impossible that they would have these characters named Galahad and Asgard.

That would be derivative.

Because that would be stupid. I hear it as his name is Galahan. I think that's actually correct. And Asgard, or Asgard, maybe. But, you know, whatever. So, Yor's just had his world rocked by this revelation.

A truth that Yor receives with this trademark. Suicism, of course.

Yes. Yes. But meanwhile, there's one little bit we skipped, which is that Kala and Pog, who have been...

They've been rescued. Yeah, they've been rescued.

Yeah, they were. And the Overlord has sent the Stormtroopers' robots after them. They see these robots. They've never seen them before, or anything like it, emerging from this bunker or ship or something that's made of a metal door. But then I have it written down as New Wave Guy emerges from a crevice or some kind of passageway in the rocks, looking like he's a member of a New Wave Band that just got back from Eurovision. And he's like, come with me. And they're like, who the hell are you? Like, they're freaked out by this guy dressed up like a space guy with a slick back hair, blonde hair and everything. And he's like, I'm a friend of Allied. Those are the androids of The Overlord and blah, blah. He's like, then he takes them underground to the secret caverns. So Ina has revealed the secret origin of Yor to him. The Overlord is observing and said, I will allow the poor fool to know the secret of his existence. But then, Plot thickens, as Yor says, he's perfect for what I have in mind. A breakthrough in genetic engineering. Oh, God. At last, at last a chance to prove my greatness.

Do you know how you refer to a movie as a phantasmagoria?

Yes.

There's one of your words. This movie is not a phantasmagoria. This movie is a cornucopia. It is a cornucopia. It is literally new things just keep coming out of it and in such bounty.

A wealth of unexpected riches. And in the form of genre-bending revelations that just make the film grander and grander in scope.

It's nonstop.

Oh, I'm...

Says producer Brad with a certain resigned Yor-like stoic system on the stage.

Overlord also then reveals a very impressive power he has, which is tele...

Oh yeah, he can like fake it, he can teleport, he can phase out existence, yeah.

And he teleports into the exam room after Yor has seen the whole videos from his medallion. And he surprisingly says, free him. And Yor is like, who...

Well, not free him, they untie him.

No, he's bound in this exam table.

He's like a Lucite exam table, yeah.

Yor's like, who are you? And he's like, I'm the Overlord. I mean, duh.

Duh.

And then this is great. Overlord does, starts the monologuing, grandly, as grandly as any villain has ever monologued. It is sweet.

Oh my God.

Yor starts just slightly, slightly, sneaking, slowly, sneaking out of the room. He's literally up against the wall, slowly, casually sneaking out of the room, and then he just gets out of the room because the Overlord has shown him that Kala and Pag are alive. They were shipwrecked alive and that he is going after them now. But they've gone missing out of his sphere of visibility from his magic high-tech crystal ball. But Yor sneaks away, but it seems that the Overlord let him sneak away.

This is the monologue where we also learn, but this is also where we learn the whole story of Yor's world. Yes. Because what we find out is that Yor is not from the future. Yor is from this place, which is the colony where all of the people who survived the nuclear Holocaust went to. This is crazy.

We get a new elder to bookend the Act I elder who died.

Yes.

Because it turns out, so Yor is looking for Kala and Pag. But meanwhile, they have been taken into the rebel underground, literally. Yeah.

The rebels of Asgard, yeah.

To meet Andor and all of the insurgents. Yes.

And Luthen Rail and Dieter Miró are there, yeah.

And Kena meets up with them because Kena is secretly part of the rebellion and plotting the overthrow.

That's right, yes.

And she meets up with the New Wave guy and Kala and tells Kala and Pag that Yor is alive, because they don't know this until she tells them.

Yeah.

And then we get the introduction of the blind elder of the rebellion.

Yes, who explains the entire film.

Yeah, he says, We're all that's left of a civilization that was wiped out by a great atomic blast. Whenever man discovers something greater than himself, he abuses it and is destroyed. Overlord is leading us along the same path. He commands all of us and his main intent is unquestionably to do evil.

Evil. Look, at this point, it's all over by the shouting, okay? It's like now we know.

There's another revelation. And again, it is a bit of a genre trope, but Overlord has lied. To everybody and said the outside world is a lifeless radioactive wasteland.

Yes. In the grand tradition of Philip K. Dick, the people living living this oppressed life under the Overlord don't realize that outside world is actually a bountiful, beautiful, nature-loving area. That where there are all sorts of things to eat and drink and be part of.

Yeah. But the blind elder who, by the way, carries this really cool, like it looks like a red lucite cane. It's really stylish. He reveals he's like, don't worry, we've been planning a revolt for years. And now that Yor, the son of Oscar, is returned, he'll be our new leader. PAG has this great response to this, because PAG and Cala are like, they don't know what the hell is going on. They don't know about space people, future people, all this stuff, like new wave guys, like they're cavemen, they're cave people, they're primitive.

You know, look, this movie should have been called Yor, The Hunter From The Present, though, because he's not from the future. These are all people from the same time. They just don't have the same level of technology.

Yeah, I'm not even gonna try. He's from like a sideways, like alternate, like more advanced society timeline that exists in a parallel future. So the blind elder extols all this. Just imagine, you are this primitive cave people, villagers, who at the beginning of the movie, your biggest worry was these other cavemen people. And you were doing twirly rope dance ceremonies and eating weird lizards. And now you've seen like things you've never imagined. And this blind elder has just blown your mind about atomic waste, like all this shit you don't even know. And Pag literally says, I don't understand what you're talking about. It is great. It is so perfect and deadpan and hilarious. Because of course, how could they understand anything they're being told? And the fact the movie is that self aware of its characters? I want to give it a big kiss. It's just...

It is shocking. It is shocking at this moment. It should become so self aware of its characters even. Showing yourself aware of it.

A little bit. Yeah. Then we get the maze of mirrors, like because they're trying to find each other. Yor and Kala are trying to find each other.

The most asinine set piece in movie history. It's literally a still shot on the same hall of mirrors. They're literally next to each other and they don't know who's who.

In a maze of mirrors.

And it's these weird statues that are holding their own crotches. It's like these weird Easter Island Moai statues.

But their hands are all on their...

Have like a pee-pee thing.

Yeah.

It's, yeah.

And I hate to be the one who notices this shit all the time, but yeah.

It's a heavy burden. The Overlord is watching them like rats in a maze. Anyway, Kala is freaking out because again, she's a primitive and she has no eye, she's probably never seen a mirror before, much less been stuck in a hall of mirrors.

Oh yeah, but the audience has, so their confusion seems asinine to us because it's not that big a hall of mirrors.

They find each other finally by backing into each other in frame, which is kind of funny.

Because they have no gift for listening to each other's voice or where it might be coming from, apparently.

And then what do they do when they find each other, when they back into each other immediately without missing a beat? They start making out. Then, in a gesture of unexpected consideration, the overlord, who's of course got a weird peeping tom fetish, he turns down the lights for them in the maze of mirrors.

Because they are-

As they're making out.

Because what is this hall of mirrors? It's not a hall of mirrors, it is the hall of fertility, my friend.

Apparently so. And he, he, he, then they may escape back to the exam room. He teleports in and this is how he greets Kala. Welcome, Kala, the Rose of Fertility. I mean, ooh, that's so creepy. And now we get more exposition about his master plan. And yeah, oh, I missed one of the best parts. So Yor then has a retort.

Do go on.

Immediately when Overlord is trying to, to like, you know, put the moves on Kala, Yor, kind of in a backslide of his evolution, says, it's my woman, Overlord.

Well, look, is it a backslide in his, in his evolution into, into conscious masculinity?

He's speaking to his audience. He's speaking in terms, maybe, that Yor understands. I, I rewound and had to relisten to this three times to make sure he actually said, it's instead of she's. Cause it's like, it's bad enough to say my woman, she's my woman, but to say, it's my woman.

Yeah, but it, yeah.

Oh, that's, that's severely fucked up.

But then the Overlord don't like, like sees him and erases him with an even better retort, which is nonsense. I'm the only one on this island allowed to have possessions.

Whoa.

So it's so fucked up.

The one thing he does not possess is acting talent, though, but the Overlord does.

And I'm just going to fly through it. But we get this monster exposition dump by the Overlord.

The Overlord has his robots. They're androids. He's tried to make them perfect.

But the limits to androids, so now he wants to like, I want my people to procreate, multiply and grow strong, that eventually I may conquer the world and destroy all barbarians. And Yor's like, you believe you're a god, but you think like a murderer. And then Overlord is like, you talk just like your father, who remember is Asgard, who is leader of the rebellion. Asgard. Asgard, or who knows. And those who plot against me, but now the androids will replace all humans. This makes no sense to me, because at first he's saying he wants his people to procreate and then take over, but now he's also saying he wants androids to replace humans. He's insane.

Well, does no one point out he wants human-android hybrids at one point? Doesn't he mention that? I thought he wanted to make like an army of perfectly genetic human androids.

He doesn't see the conflict or the cognitive dissonance that this harbors. Yor, of course, being, again, surprisingly perceptive, it says, you'll command a world of puppets. Is that your goal in life? And I love this. It reminds me of an issue of a Spider-Man comic where Sauron, the supervillain who's a pterodactyl, basically, a living one, is trying to turn the world into dinosaurs. And Spider-Man is like, what are you doing? Why do you want to turn the world into dinosaurs? He's just like, I just want to. Like, it's just he wants what he wants. Here's the thing.

But the thing is, if he wants a world of puppets, it's already a world of puppets because all the dinosaurs are puppets. So he's obviously clearly not sent any scouting parties out to look at new assets.

So Overlord replies, yes. To the question, is that your goal in life? He says, yes. I'm the giver of death, but also of life. You are going to be the forefather of a new race, together with Kala, this genetically perfect woman as your mate.

Well, her father was the king. I guess that was foreshadowing.

I have to asterisk footnote a little thing here. There is a disturbing through-line subtext that's text here of master race eugenics.

Yeah, eugenics. That's what I said. He's like RFK. Jr. Yeah. He's a eugenicist.

Clearly though, thankfully, Yor and the film knows that this is bad and it is wrong.

Paul, the revolution starts. The rebels take to the streets. We are fighting with lasers and clubs and things, right?

They rescue Yor and Kala from being reprogrammed and whatever, modified.

And then there's a button that has to be physically pressed for the nuke to not go off, for what to happen? So, Paul, what is it? Because we know that Overlord teleports, but he's got to show up physically to do a thing. And it is to push this one button. And the entire end game.

This is the Death Star. So basically, they're going to go blow up the Death Star, which is the base of the Overlord. They've got a bomb. They've got to plant the bomb on the Atomic Pile, as in the 66 Batman show. Yes. It has an Atomic Pile. And so they're in a power plant, like some location that they're shooting in. That is clearly...

They're in the same place where Space Beauty was shot. It's clearly a power plant, yeah.

And there's lots of chaos and laser shooting and blah, blah, blah. But as they're getting to the Atomic Pile to plant the bomb...

The greatest gift of this film is about to be revealed to us, isn't it?...

the Overlord retracts the dropletage, making it inaccessible. Javi, what are our heroes going to do?

Oh my God, Paul. Paul, only you. I'm going to leave this to you because I don't think that I have the vocabulary to express the grandeur of what occurs next.

It's...

Please, regale us, Paul.

This is an exercise and an incredible case study. And how do you do a shameless rip-off of Star Wars?

Without doing a shameless rip-off of Star Wars.

But then make it something no one has ever seen or imagined in their wildest dreams.

Because they shouldn't have.

So there is a convenient dangling cable with some kind of control box, which I surmise might actually be the control box to the drawbridge that they don't attempt to test or try. But anyway, Yor grabs it with a bomb tucked under his arm, and he's like, I'm going to swing like Luke Skywalker and lay on the Death Star, like Tarzan, like whatever, we do not get the Tarzan yell, thank God. He swings across this death-defying crevasse to the atomic pile, plants the bomb, but he's let go of the cable, which then dangles back to the middle, to equilibrium, out of his reach. And he's basically like, you gotta leave without me. He's gonna sacrifice himself, save everybody, because they're trying to get to some spaceship, to escape, whatever, blah, blah. And it's like, there's no way out. He's gonna die. It's like, it's the Kobayashi-

Are they gonna do it? How's it gonna happen? But there's, yeah, this is it. End of the second act, it's the lowest point.

Pag, who at this point, his only skill seems to be intermittent archery, turns out, lived a life in the circus. And he springs into action, unleashing his childhood life as Robin the Boy Wonder. And he leaps onto another cable that's available.

Which just happens to have a trapeze on it.

Yeah, which is, and he does a trapeze act.

And he's upside down with his knees.

Here's the thing, here's the thing, it's because you see it, and you're like, oh my god, this is perfect, there's another cable. He's gonna swing it across, just so Yor can grab it and swing back. Simple, easy, but no, no, no. Paul has been waiting for this moment of heroism his whole life, and it is finally calling to him. He is standing on the precipice of greatness he has never known or felt, and that no one has ever witnessed in the history of cinema. He leaps across like the greatest trapeze artist you've ever seen, and then he grabs Yor, and by both hands, he swings him.

It's really like the flying fucking Walendis. They're doing a trapeze act. It's amazing.

Yes, swings him across, back, and releases him to safety. He then swings back, and you're like, oh god, how is he gonna make it back? Can he make it back? He doesn't just make it back. He does like this triple flip, like this Olympian dismount. It's amazing.

It is, I mean, like words fail, buildings crumble.

It's incredible. Anyway, they're racing to activate the bomb, but the elder is waiting behind. He has been in the process of de-activating, sector by sector, the androids of the Overlord to make their escape and to back him up against the Overlord. The Overlord is teleporting, cannot make it all the way. There's a showdown between Yor and him. Yor impales him after the Overlord uses a palm arm.

Yor picks up one of those arms that goes up and down in a border crossing, like in The Soldier. You know, like it's a white pole with orange stripes on it.

It's like a safety pole or something.

And he uses it like a spear.

Like a javelin. Yeah, yeah. It kind of looks like that. But Overlord, he's wounded, he's impaled. He makes it up to try to stop the Elder because the Elder is in the control room of the power plant. Yes. And the only thing that can stop this bomb going off and blowing up the atomic pile and the entire Overlord's base is the Elder. The Overlord is racing to get there to physically hit that button. Somehow he's so wounded he can no longer teleport.

Yes.

Pog is covering the rebels' escape to the ship. They now, Yor and Pog know how to shoot the laser guns.

They now know how to fire laser guns and pilot ships.

He's about to be killed, but the Elder has successfully deactivated the androids in that sector, covering their escape. Just as the Overlord is coming to face off with the Blind Elder, the leader of this rebellion that is within reach of defeating him.

And he has an orange safety pole sticking out of his chest while he's doing all this stuff.

He's been impaled like Ming the Merciless. At the end of Flash Gordon, the bomb goes off. And just in time, our heroes, the Rebels, Yor, Kala, Pag, Ina, they escape on a freaking spaceship, fly the exploding base.

And by the way, Paul, I gotta get in here. First of all, you might think, you Paul might think, I Javi might think, that this movie will then have some sort of a scene, a denouement, dare I say. But no, this film is a film that actively subverts all of the tropes. So rather than getting a conclusion to all of this we've just witnessed, instead we see the ship leaving into the horizon and the following voiceover.

Yor returns to the primitive tribes on the mainland. He is determined to use his superior knowledge to prevent them making the same mistakes as their forefathers. Will he succeed?

You know, it's funny because he's shown no interest in not having... He doesn't even know what those mistakes are, but okay, I guess that...

And then the credits roll!

And it's done!

It's done!

It's 90 minutes!

But is it? But is it done? It can never be done. All right. Producer Brad, how did this movie do? Let's hear it.

It was released August 19th, 1983, 13th weekend of the summer.

I don't think this film was released. I think this film escaped.

Well, I'll get to that. It opened at number seven with $2.8 million. Six films were ahead of it. Easy Money, Risky Business, Mr. Mom, Vacation Cujo and Return of the Jedi. Metal Storm, also released this weekend, was number eight with $2 million. Now, there's no box office records for Yor after this week. So the totals are 2.8 million. This is domestic.

No one can know how much we have.

I assume it made money.

Wow.

There's no records out there. The director said this was one of his most successful films. I don't know what that means, but he was happy for it. For the year, it made 2.8 million. It ranked number... Now, I used the numbers as my charts for this. They only go to 65. So I had to jump to another chart that would go past 100 because this was number 121 at the box office, according to Box Office Mojo. All time is $7,667. $6,000 behind the Hudsucker Proxy, but $19,000 ahead of Year of the Comets.

You know, I enjoyed this movie far more than I did the Hudsucker Proxy. I'm sorry, this was such a much better viewing experience. Yeah, okay, so wow.

And of all the films we've seen between the summer of 82 and 83, this made the least.

Yeah, that we know of. It might have been an elaborate money laundering scheme.

It may have made the least, but it gave us so much.

And it clearly must have killed on video and cable.

So next week. Next week.

Next week, we are going to August 26th, or second to last weekend, and I have really good news. We have seven movies over this weekend.

Is Fanny Alexander one of them?

Number one. Here's the poster for number one, Daniel starring Timothy Hutton.

I've never heard of it.

Is this an ill doctor or a movie about the son of, I don't know if I'm gonna go on.

Yes, you're right. There's something.

It's based on the book of Daniel. Yeah, I know, yeah. No, we're not seeing this because I'm in a good-

Number two.

Oh my God.

Ralph Bakshi's seminal animated film, Fire and Ice, do go on.

Fire and Ice. Number three, Lou Ferrigno in Hercules.

Oh my God. The summer of 83 was just sitting on this gold vein. Do go on, what else?

Sybil Danning is also in it. Number four, David Bowie. Oh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence.

Yes, yes, that knee-slapper. Yeah, real comedy there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A beautiful score by Ruchi Sakamoto.

Ruchi Sakamoto, yes.

Your next option.

The Return of Martin Gere with the now very problematic Gerard Dipper.

Yeah, no, I'm good, I'm good. That's it, that's it, that's it. That's what we're watching, Strange Brew. Done, done, Strange Brew. It shows the other ones just to see, but whatever.

And there's one more opening called Young Warriors, James Van Patten and Anne Lockhart.

We have to see Strange Brew. That's it, that's it. I remember seeing this movie vividly. And yeah, it is.

And it's a loose Shakespeare adaptation. We ended last season with Shakespeare.

That's right. We ended with an adaptation of The Tempest, and now we're going to see the SCTV Gang's adaptation of Hamlet as Strange Brew. Set in the Elsinore Brewery, I might add. So yeah, it really is.

Yes.

Oh, Paul, what great adventures we have ahead of us.

I just have one thing left to say. And there's so many things I could say, but there's only one thing.

Really only one thing left.

YOR! YOR!

YOR! And on that...

All right, my friends, and on that note... Oh, keep it going! Keep it going!

Keep it going! We want it on our news again.

Play us out! Play us out!

And on that note, my friends, we will see you next week in line at the Multiplex.

At the Multiplex.

Catch you later.