You shot it.

What a bunch of dumb sons of bitches. You shot it? A machine, you buttheads.

Pure Shakespeare, spoken, of course, by the great Peter Coyote. Has this man ever been given better lines than these, Paul?

Let's just say it's quite a contrast from the screen presence we last backed in, which was ET. This is a swing from that character to this one.

We've literally gone from I have wanted this my whole life, I was that little boy, to it's a machine, you buttheads. Poignant, so poignant. You know, and on it's a machine, you buttheads. I'd like to say to you and to our producer, Brad, it's a machine, you buttheads. But on that note, I'm Afia Grillo-Marxuach.

And I'm Paul Alvarado-Dykstra.

And this is.

Multiplex Overthruster, Summer of 84.

Okay, now hold the hell on. So, this is not a 1984 movie.

Yeah, no, we need to address the elephant in the room. Let's talk about that, because I know that, look, I feel like I have to become the Multiplex Overthruster family therapist, because I know there was a little bit of, dare I say, tension between you and producer Brad on this one. Could you tell us what you're feeling?

So, I'm already destabilized by this movie. And then, and I'm just like, oh, well, obviously, this is just a bonus episode for 1983, because it is a 1983 movie, although, technically, it premiered right here in Austin, Texas, thanks to the great Michael Nesmith, in 1982. So, an argument could be made it was an 82 film, really, it was released in 83, so it's an 83 movie. We, I thought, had already leaped forward, quantumly or not, into the warm embrace of 1984, but it's like, okay, well, we're gonna back, we're gonna catch up on something by popular demand, or maybe not, which is today's film.

I think in this case, by popular demand means producer Brad. Yes, he's very popular, and he makes demands.

I was being insheritable, but it's like, are we in 84, 83, 82, or 1877?

Well, this film is in fact Timerider, The Adventure of Lyle Swann.

Yes.

And it is a time travel movie, so what you're saying is incredibly apposite to the situation we find ourselves in.

Yes.

It's possible that this movie is your own great grandfather, and you don't even know.

Maybe.

But, producer Brad, what is your side of this? Why did you feel that this movie was a good spring of 84 movie? Let's hear your side of the tale.

Well, I think when you watch summer movies and you go to the theater, you only get a C1, right? Because you only can commit to that. But in the advent of VHS, you can go to the store and you can get a stack of tapes and go home. And this movie was on VHS and we did not watch it last year in 83. So it's on tape for the spring of 84 and we're going to watch it. We're going to stay home and watch one movie on VHS that we missed. And I'll tell you one thing that we haven't discussed, which is important to Paul, which he doesn't know yet. Look at the poster for this movie and look at the artwork for our podcast.

Now, okay.

There's a straight line between the two of them.

So first of all, I'm going to say this film has a spectacular poster and a spectacular logo on the poster. It certainly was an oversight that we missed it in 83, but that's because it came out in January of 83. So we can catch up with this, but I'm just going to point out the podcast is Multiplex Overthruster, not Video Store Overthruster.

Oh, shots fired. Shots fired. Oh snap. So guys, I'm the family therapist here. You got to come down the rhetoric.

This is a bonus 1983 episode before we formally enter 1984.

Is that what it is?

It's a 1983 film.

Paul, is that the mental and emotional gymnastics we have to perform in order to get you on board with this one?

It's a start.

I mean, beyond the film itself, obviously.

Well, the only problem is that we have to go backwards and edit because I did select this as my spring special.

Yes, yes, yet it is a spring 84 special in the form of a bonus episode for 1983.

I feel like, have you guys seen that episode of The Crown where Margaret Thatcher and the Queen are going back and forth on the South Africa document and they can't quite come up with the right word?

Yes.

All that matters is you guys watched it and we get to talk about it. That's all that makes me happy.

But here's the thing, Brad, when you say you guys watched it and we get to talk about it, producer Brad, that actually brings me to my first and most important point, which is that I believe this film is a powerful psychic object of unspeakable force. Now, you and I, this movie reminds, okay, you and I watched this movie about a month ago when we started to plan this podcast, right? And we weren't able to record it for a few weeks because, Paul, congratulations on your success. Paul had a great career success happen to him. And we had to postpone and a bunch of things.

This stuff's been going on. Yeah.

All right. So anyway, so I look at my notes for the movie and I don't remember a damn thing, like nothing. Like I'm looking at my notes going, is this even in English, right? So I watched it again about a week ago because we were going to record a little bit ago and then we had another thing and then we... So I watched it a week ago and then it stopped and then I just went about my life and then I looked at my notes this morning and I don't remember a damn thing about the movie. So I watched it an hour ago and I still can't remember... This movie is like that Doctor Who villain that like when they're not in your line of sight, you completely forget about their existence. This movie made me question my own object permanence.

Because also this is lost media. This movie does not exist in any accessible form. It's not available to purchase. It is long out of print. It's not on any streaming platform. There is no way for the average moviegoer, consumer to watch this film.

It made it to Blu-ray.

Yes, but it's been long out of print. And so it's hard to find.

This movie reminds me, you know, you watch those documentaries and they're like, well, 90% of the films made between 1907 and 1965 have been lost forever to the sands of time. And this is the kind of movie where I go, is it a bad thing? Is it a bad thing?

I think, I have a lot to say about this film.

Do you now?

Thankfully, it's short. But I do think that it is a very interesting temporal anomaly that does reach forward and backward and has, I think, some inarguably influences that are difficult to ignore in terms of what its impact was.

Okay, okay.

Let's ring the bell. Yes.

Okay, let's ring the bell and get into this, because what you just said is really interesting. Okay, ready? Producer Brad, can we have the bell?

Ding, ding.

Okay, Paul.

Today's movie is, we have not said the title, Javi.

Well, yeah, because I forgot. Today's movie is called Timerider, The Adventure of Lyle Swann. And I got to tell you, my favorite thing about this movie is the title, because it is The Adventure of Lyle Swann. There is no threat. There is no threat of a sequel. There is no threat of it. They're literally just, just do this one with us and we won't bother you again, guys. It's The Adventure.

It is.

And I think that's very warm and kind of the filmmakers to do for us.

It is to echo a, let's say a discerning differential between film writing and TV writing, that a film is, is typically the most significant event that has happened to your lead character in their life. Yes. And in this case, this is true. It stands to reason nothing else remotely of comparable interest ever happened to our protagonist, other than the events that occur in this. Or here's, here's a corollary theory or observation I have. If any such adventures did happen, the protagonist was too profoundly stupid to realize them, because throughout the almost total running time of this film, our hero has no clue what has actually happened, which is that he has been sent back in time from 1982 to 1877.

Exactly. Does he even ever find out it was time travel?

When the helicopter arrives, I think they fill him in, but that's a fair question. Maybe when Belinda Bauer takes the necklace, closing the loop of prophecy, maybe. But the fact that it's a question is amazing.

If I remember anything about this movie, and I don't, I cannot remember the specific moment when Lyle Swann, who by the way...

Lyle Swann, as played by...

Fred Ward. Now look, no flies on Fred. We love Fred.

Well, I will say maybe no flies, but there's a lot of sweat This is the sweatiest...

It is the sweatiest Fred Ward that ever Fred Warded in the video.

Maybe the sweatiest protagonist we have yet to encounter in any film in Multiplex Overthruster.

And we don't mean metaphorically sweaty like he really wants to get laid. We mean sweaty like physically, like his sweat glands are just an overdrive the entire movie.

Literally, he is soaked. Half of the shots of him, he is just soaking wet on his head.

Well, he wears the helmet most of the time. He wears his motorcycle helmet.

Well, that's why he is sweaty. Well, I'm going to guess it was shot in Austin, right?

No, it was shot in New Mexico.

Okay, whatever.

But Michael Nesmith at the time, Cosmic Cowboy, Joy, Fountainman, and Austin.

Let's talk about that for a second.

Yes. Okay.

Now, the movie starts, and the first thing you see is the thing that gives you the most hope. And it's literally like Michael Nesmith presents.

Yes.

Now, Michael Nesmith famously was one of the monkeys, right? But.

The best monkey.

He really, no, you know what? I don't rate the monkeys that way.

I do.

I don't, really? Wow, no, I don't think there can be a best one, but he was certainly.

Wait, wait, wait, Paul, can you rank all four for us real quick?

I'd say, OK, if I had to, I'd say Dolan's. No, no, I would say Nesmith, then I would say Peter Tork.

I'd be torn between Dolan's and and and and Tork.

Really?

OK.

But but the last one, definitely Chekhov, right? Like we can't be like fucking David Jones.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because you know that Chekhov in Star Trek was supposed to like be like because David Jones was popular and OK, never mind. Yeah. Because of course, you know this because you're me. All right. Now, Michael Nesmith, famously in The Monkeys and, you know, The Monkeys, probably more experimental than they were given credit for, actually, in terms of their TV show and visually what they were doing.

Well, they were straining to be more experimental than they were allowed to be.

Exactly. So Michael Nesmith put out the first ever truly viral video. He made a video called Elephant Parts that was only released.

Yeah, and arguably created the form of the music video.

Arguably, but yes. Elephant Parts was basically like a combination of sketches and music videos. It was in the late 70s. It wasn't even in the 80s.

Very experimental.

And it was on VHS, and that's how you got it. You had to buy it or rent it or somebody gave it to you. And then that became a show called TV Parts in the early 80s, which was mind-blowing. I haven't found it anywhere. I should probably look for it a little bit harder, but I remember it being really funny in a way that, in the same way that, not the same way, but Monty Python was funny in that way that told you, it's okay, you're weird. And that's kind of what TV Parts was for me. TV Parts was going, it's okay, you're weird. Don't worry about it.

Yeah.

You know? Yeah. And so that credit alone gave me such hope. And wow, were those hopes dashed, I think, because I can't remember anything about the movie.

And yet, this film is a bridge in Michael Nesma's producing journey from television. And this movie, frankly, feels like a very silly TV movie.

It's a very rickety, rickety, poorly built bridge. Yeah. I mean, did he make it?

It is a bridge to his next producing endeavor, which we will watch next week.

Oh, that was him?

Yes. Oh, okay.

Now the sacrifice, our collective sacrifice feels...

And so, without this...

There's no sacrifice.

Without this step, he could not have achieved the masterpiece that awaits us in full bloom in 1984.

I feel like I'm Sonny Corleone and you're Michael Corleone. I'm going, Michael, you're taking this too personally.

I just want to say, when I picked this movie, I picked it because I do like it, not because I was giving you a gift leading into Repo.

Well, producer Brad, but you know what? We were talking about this earlier, which is that you and I have memories of seeing this movie many times when we were kids. Because this movie was on the movie channel.

It was PG.

Yeah, it was PG, so they could play it all day long instead of after 8 PM. The thing is, producer Brad, I remember this movie very differently. I remember a movie that had a continuous voiceover. I don't know, it's like, literally this movie has become the Mandela effect for me.

Was the voiceover from the film or was it in your head as you watched it?

Clearly it was being beamed directly into my head because the movie doesn't have it.

True. There are alternate versions out there on different releases, but I did not find one that had a narration of any kind.

But you and I were saying, they were saying that what you liked about this movie is kind of like a, can you talk a little bit about how you found this movie is kind of like a Sunday drive? What was your?

I will say that watching it again for the first time in 40 years, it wasn't quite what I thought. In our last episode, I said I'm great at picking movies for the crowds, crowd-pleasers.

Right.

I will walk that back a little bit in this one. It's not a bad movie. There's just nothing much to it. But this one is kind of like a Sunday drive. You just go out, you just enjoy things, you go home.

You're there, Timerider happens, and then it stops.

I've never had a Sunday drive remotely like this in my life. I don't know what you're talking about.

I think this movie so, shall we say, deliberately pays.

It is a one-hour pilot, expanded into a 94-minute movie, is what it feels like.

There was one moment in this film where I said, this movie is so slow, it makes Tarkovsky look like Michael Bay, which I don't think is... it's actually not a proper movie.

But also in terms of influences and influence that I believe it rots, or rot, it does also feel a little bit like, at least aspirationally, time after time meets Back to the Future Part III, but bad.

Yes.

There's another tie to that. Do you know what the tie is between this movie and those two films?

Go on. What?

The time travel arrival days, November 5th, in all three films.

Yes.

Really?

Yes.

Is that a coincidence?

No. Who knows?

No.

Do you know the back story? Because I don't.

I have no idea. Paul, you sound like you know what you're talking about here.

It's an homage. These films are in conversation with each other.

Well, Timerider was the first one. Is Timerider...

No, Timerider is after Time After Time.

Time After Time was like 79, right?

Yes.

Do you think these filmmakers saw Time After Time, did that and then...

Clearly, the love story is a total lift. The whole grandfather paradox, it's a total lift from Time After Time. But then the Western setting and everything is a total lift. And then, inspired Zemeckis had to for Back to the Future part three.

Well, and here's the thing, like William Dear was a Spielberg fellow traveler. He directed Harry Enderhenderson.

We haven't said who William Dear is yet.

The director and co-writer.

William Dear is the director of this film and co-writer.

And Nesma's co-conspirator on Elephant Parts. And so, they've been collaborating already.

And a director on Amazing Stories.

Yes, later will be on Amazing Stories and other things.

He did the Mummy episode of Amazing Stories.

Yes.

Pretty good.

And there's a lot of good stuff in this and fun, but a lot of it's really languid and dull.

And let's talk about the plot of this. But there was a text message this morning, I haven't forgotten it, where I said, Paul, can you be Paul Plot? Because I've forgotten everything in this movie. But watching this movie generally feels like I'm watching less of a movie than a collage of scenes from other things that they thought they were cool kind of re-staged poorly.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

No argument on that?

Great.

Okay. No further comments.

Sweaty Fred Ward in a red track suit, a racing suit and helmet is a...

Can we just start by saying this film does begin with five hours of first person singular footage of somebody riding a motorcycle in the desert. Like it's set to 80s synth music, right?

Not only that though, it's like Steadicam. And when I saw that, I go, oh cool. It's not going to be all jerky. This is the only time in the movie where they had that. The rest of the time it's all jerky camera.

I will say this opening montage is essentially Fred Ward's Sunday drive, but he's apparently in some kind of motocross desert competition on a motorbike that is tricked out, some kind of Franken bike that's got all sorts of tech on it. This is pre-GPS, so he has audio cassette navigation.

Yes, his handler has given him cassettes telling him where to go.

Yes, and he has no idea how to read a map.

One of the directions is turn left at the cow.

Exactly. Yes.

The guy must have been Puerto Rican.

He has a helmet.

That's how we give directions. Turn left at the cow, you're good.

He has a helmet with implausibly, if not totally anachronistic, high-tech military technology in it.

Yeah, he's got like the weird Terminator heads up display, right?

That also has like infinite battery. Yes. Thankfully, the bike does not have infinite gas. I will give the movie credit for that.

Nor does the script.

No, it does not. But this film, guess how many times I've seen this film?

Uh, no, I can't because I've lost my memory.

How many? Once.

Okay.

I had never seen this movie because it's bad.

Well, how would you know, Beckham?

How would you know? You don't know that? You don't know until you see it. And then if you forget it, you still don't know.

Because, because I had friends who saw it and told me, and I could just kind of tell. But I'm glad, I'm genuinely glad that I saw it because this was the only hole in my genre, and particularly time travel sub-genre cinematic literacy. So I do appreciate it. But, but here's the thing. As I've related slash vented previously, one of Paul's primal vexations, I'm speaking of myself in the third person, this is not a good sign. Yeah, I know.

I like it. It's very Apollo Creed of you. I dig it.

Is that I, one of the things I just, I can't stand that drives me crazy in storytelling in general, film in particular, is when a film's plot is predicated on the stupidity of its protagonist. And that the movie only works if the lead character is just implausibly dumb. But, but-

Is he dumb? I just think he's-

Here's the thing, here's the thing. What I had never considered is that this film transcends that into, into dimensions that I had never considered possible. Wow. Which are every single character in this movie, except for one.

Except for one.

The great Belinda Bauer.

The great Belinda Bauer.

My God, we'll get to her.

Holy Toledo.

Is a fucking moron. But the plot does not necess... It's not necessary for them to be dumb. In fact, it is in collision with the plot of how is it possible that, that at every turn, our protagonist is pounded in the forehead by what is happening and is completely obtuse to realizing his circumstances.

Yeah, absolutely.

And it is maddening.

To the point where, having seen the movie, we can't remember if there was a moment when he realized he was traveling through time.

He doesn't. We think maybe by the end, he's informed, but if he is, it's off camera. It is amazing. What's unfortunate is, I mean, many things in this film are unfortunate.

Aside from us having to see this film.

Conceptually, this film's a great idea. Like, on paper, this is a slam dunk. You've got this motorbike racer badass who is like a dumber Buckaroo Banzai. He only has one skill, which is racing motorbikes, not others, who's got this team backing him up, but we never get to know them, which is also a shame. He accidentally goes off course on this race into, coincidentally, a top secret government time travel experiment.

No, no, it's not government, it's private, and they don't want the government to know, that's why.

Whatever. It's Project Quantum Leap, but the TMU version, and they're going to send...

All they have is like, they just have a van, right? They're in that van that Hal Needham was in in Megaforce.

They're in some headquarters with a lot of blinky lights and switches.

Lots of blinking lights and switches, yeah.

They're going to send a rhesus monkey back in time, but the moment they're about to, Fred Ward happens to penetrate the-

To ride his bike.

The whatever, the rift, and is transported back to 18, first they think it's 1875, but then they fine tune it, it was off, it's 1877.

Now, I want to just take a second here to say something that I think is really important, okay? Now, normally, Paul, now we are approximately 20 minutes into the movie now, okay? Now, we are only about 17 minutes into the- We're maybe, yeah, 20 minutes into the podcast, right? Which includes our banter at the beginning, our banter in the- We have never gotten 20 minutes into a movie in less than three hours, right? So, the fact that we're already, like, at this crucial juncture in the movie, and we've had nothing to say about anything that's happened before, is so telling of this. Like, literally, you don't get to know the pit crew. You see a lot of, like, just shot from his point of view of him riding in the desert.

Yes.

You meet the assholes from, you know, from the experiment. They're unremarkable. They have no drama. They literally just-

Like, compare and contrast with Megaforce. Like, this has, this is like the plots of those movies on Zempik. Like, it is, it is, it is a skeletal, like, gone, like dehydrated husk of just a barely bare minimum of plot.

It's like, when you get this thing, it's like the original King Kong from 1933 is being sold in auction. And then you're like, you go there and you realize King Kong has deteriorated entirely. The only thing left is the armature, you know, that Marcel Delgado built, you know? And you're like, well, that's not King Kong. That's just a bunch of rivets. Well, that's this movie.

This movie needed a little more rehydration.

And yet, I still enjoyed it.

Producer Brad, you cannot take anything we're doing here personally.

No.

Okay, I'm just saying. But I'm going to wait till the end, but you have one very nice thing to say that I think you'll appreciate. But I'm going to wait till the end because I want to see how much of this punishment you can take. I see you squirming. It's horrible. I hate to see you so upset, Producer Brad. For Producer Brad, this is like full on grief, by the way.

But again, Javi, we've had this conversation previously, I think most notably about Firefox, in terms of a film that has a really great concept, a cool setup, cool things in it, but just does not come together, is just not executed at the level that it really deserves. I feel the same way about Timerider. I feel like there is a good version of this movie, like actually an awesome version of this movie, that you can make, that really nailed tone and the opportunity of suspense and of comedy and building a team and developing the characters in the world. This movie cannot be bothered to really do anything other than kind of paint by numbers. And it's so frustrating.

It reminds me, the vibe reminds me of when, like in the 90s, producer Brad and I would go to the paintball a lot, you know, like we went a couple, and we would go to this place called Fields of Honor, you know, which had different like, like different sets. You know, so like, yeah, it was, it was amazing. It was amazing. It was like one of the, it was just like my first, my first, my first bachelor party was there. It was amazing. But you know, like they had-

That was an omen.

Yeah. Well, there was, yeah, you know, yeah. Well, anyway.

Sorry.

You know, no, no, I think, I think my, my, my wholly unsuccessful personal life should absolutely be fodder for comedy because it's pretty hilarious. But so, you know, they had like their little Vietnam village. They had like a, like a, like a Western village. They had like a-

An urban.

Bourbon?

Urban.

Oh, urban.

If only, if only.

And this movie just kind of reminds, this movie, the vibe is like, hey, we've got a weekend. We have this Western village up in the paintball place. Got a couple of cameras and a bike. Let's go guys. Let's go make a movie. We got, we got two days. We'll figure it out as we go. That's kind of how this movie, this movie, here's why I think producer Brad uses the Sunday drive analogy. And I will join with this because I think, I feel like this is not a movie. This is a hang. Now you may not like the people you're hanging with, but the movie, this movie feels like a hang. Behind the scenes, it just feels like they just got together and they just kind of made a thing.

I agree, because I don't find anything offensive in this. There's nothing, there's no one I dislike in this movie. They are all dumb, but it's...

In apropos, okay, so let's just get into it. Lyle Swann happens into the time travel experiment.

I'm sorry, I find willful, abject stupidity offensive. This is me. But I will say, because I misinterpreted...

They're from the Old West, what do they know?

But I misinterpreted the framework you're establishing in terms of the hang. It's not a hang for us. It's a hang for them, for the people making this movie who are like, hey, I think we could go make a movie. And they went and made a movie because they could. And they did. And they did. And you know what? Bravo. Because it led them to make a great movie.

I don't know. Okay, so let's just get in. So look, he gets into the time travel matrix. He gets yoinked back into 1870, whatever.

Yes. And what is your first thought when he, when we get that little glimpse of VFX? And I'm like, God, this movie would have been better, better VFX. And he finds himself in the Old West, but he still is completely clueless that that...

Totally clueless. And he scares an old man, I think, to death.

Well, hold on. We're gonna get to this because this is gonna get a whole thing about representation in this film. But a Latino representation.

I forgot about it.

So he is transported in the past with this capsule that he reads, it's got a plaque on it, that has a monkey inside, but we never see the monkey. And that's disappointing. I'm like, show us the goddamn monkey. If there's a monkey, if there's a promise of a monkey and you don't deliver the monkey, that is...

You see it on the video monitor.

That doesn't count. That doesn't count. Cause that's like, that could have been stock footage. I'm like, if you're making a movie and you're promising me, maybe not at this friend's house. So what you're promising me, a monkey, I want to see the goddamn monkey.

Let me write or assume this thing. So what you're saying is that instead of the monkey being, hey, we're going to send a recess monkey and then you forget all about the monkey.

Why?

What if the monkey goes back in time and becomes Lyle Swann's buddy?

What if the monkey gets...

Like he's got this monkey on his shoulder, the monkey gets the bad dates.

The monkey gets loose and it's both Lyle Swann and the monkey on the loose in 1877. And the monkey keeps trying to hump Lyle Swann's leg and will not let Lyle Swann alone. And Lyle's like, what is this crazy monkey doing? And it's a buddy comedy with Lyle Swann and the monkey.

Yeah, but I don't think the monkey's trying to hump him. I think the monkey's on his shoulder and I think they achieve an understanding.

I think the monkey is like an annoying howler monkey that just is screaming at Lyle Swann constantly.

Why would they have picked this monkey for this experiment if he's so stupid? No, it's a howler monkey howling. No, it's going to be like a smart monkey who can be part of the movie.

You want the howler monkey?

No, you want the ravenous monkey with a little vest and a fez.

Javi, I thought this through. You have not.

With a cowboy hat and a vest, Paul.

You want the howler monkey because when it gets lost, that's how you find the monkey because it's howling.

Okay, but can it be a preternaturally smart howler monkey, right?

That is the doorbell from the hunger that brings the thought back. Please. I can't believe the monkey is the first triggering thing for Paul.

The unseen monkey, which let's be honest, it's Schrodinger's monkey. They never was a monkey. The production couldn't afford a monkey, but the monkey capsule gets transported back on a timer to 1982. Lyle Swann is oblivious as he is to everything in the movie.

He rides around for another 30 minutes of screen time.

And my first thought, and this is a thing that I'm projecting on the film, but of course Lyle is too stupid to know that this is... We have a ticking clock. And Javi, how valuable is a ticking clock on...

If the character doesn't realize it's a ticking clock.

Exactly. Which is, how much gas does he have in the tank of this motorbike?

I thought this was like Mr. Fusion in there because the bike goes on forever. This bike does not stop running.

It doesn't run out till like... That's the third act when it runs out. But anyway... But then he is driving, looking... He's lost whatever... He's too stupid to know he's been transported back in time. Even though there was a flash of light and like...

He's not too stupid. But if he had figured it out sometime in the next 15 minutes of screen time, I think we could give him a gimme on that.

Maybe.

Paul, but he doesn't. I just think you're being a little hard on Lyle Swann. But then again, he's from Canoga Park, so whatever.

So night falls, he sees a campfire in the distance. So naturally he goes. And at the campfire, so many things here. There are two Mexican peasants, presumably one older man, and then one other guy gathering wood or something, who hides and runs away. And then we never see him again. And it's like a setup with no payoff of like, what happened to that guy? And Swann approaches. And of course, the Mexicans freak out. Right. And they're yelling, El Diablo, Dios Mio. And what happens?

I mean, look, he is dressed, look, he's dressed, he's kind of like Marty McFly as Darth Vader. I mean, he's dressed head to toe in red. He's wearing a motorcycle helmet and he's making quite a racket.

And I have to imagine that that was also a Zemeckis lift from this movie, because it's uncannily similar. But what happens? How does this poor old Mexican man, who's just camping out...

In my memory, he dies, he has a heart attack and dies, right? So Lyle Swann straight up kills a guy.

Yes, he kills the guy with fear.

He doesn't kill him, but he scares him to death, right?

He scares him to death because he doesn't take his helmet off and...

Is it murder or manslaughter, if you... Let's continue, sorry.

He does attempt CPR, but very bare minimum.

He's not that into it, I mean, you can tell, you know, he's like, yeah.

He's clearly never watched The Pit. And so, like, our first example of Latino representation is already dead in the same scene. But the other guy is hidden and run, but we don't see it again.

I don't think that's a stereotype. Latinos are very well known to die of fear. Nevermind.

Exactly, exactly. And then, like, we have this intercutting back and forth between the timelines, like, for no real reason, we're cutting back to the Swanns.

Because the people in the lab have nothing interesting to say.

Yes, there's nothing ever interesting going on back at the time travel lab. There's nothing ever interesting going on back with Swann's pit crew, who should be more alarmed that he has gone...

That night has fallen and their guy, their champion has been lost, and, like, with their tricked-out bike, that they probably spent some money on.

For some reason, Swann burns his, like, 82 number, whatever, from his racing, whatever, and buries the old man.

He burns it because he's using it as kindling.

I guess so, but...

Well, that's right, he's using it to warm up because it's a cold desert night.

He's surrounded by wood and things and brush. Now, then we are introduced to...

And it's not like the number's going to provide that much warmth. It's a piece of paper.

No, no, but it's... Then we are introduced to this quartet of bad ombres.

Yes, played by some of the finest character actors in fucking history. All of them horribly wasted in this. So you got Tracy Walter, who was Malak in Conan the Disco.

And who will have an exponentially better and more profound role in our next film.

So you got him. You have Peter Coyote, the great Peter Coyote, with one of the greatest... Playing the black clad villain. He's very much an archetype.

He's the black hat asshole.

And then one of my favorite... Look, whenever I talk to people about character actors, I always say, I am the blank character in your life. I'm either the Bradley Whitford character of your life, or I'm the Richard Masur character of your life. I fucking love Richard Masur. He is in every movie ever made. He's still out there. My ex-wife used to watch this show, Younger, yeah, with Sutton Foster, right? And he showed up as like a barely disguised thing of a very lecherous George RR. Martin. I mean, the guy's still kicking around and he's great. And he always plays the sort of, he always plays the guy who kind of knows more than everybody else, but it's just too mild-mannered and mellow to tell everybody how wrong they are about everything, you know? So it's like, so I love this actor. And it's, look, at the very least, thing that I got from this movie was watching those guys and then Ed Lauder, LQ. Jones, fucking Banks. What's his name? From Breaking Bad?

Jonathan Banks.

Jonathan Banks is in this movie. And they misspell his name in the end credits, B-A-H-N-K, which I'm, S, which I'm like, what?

Yes. Anyway, so there are a lot of good character actors who show up.

Really great character, yeah.

And I'm blanking on, and I should have it in front of me, the fourth member of this bad cowboy quartet that is ill-fated and has a lapse in judgment, this kind of complaining codger that Peter Coyote murders in cold blood.

In cold, so you know he's a bad guy.

Now, Richard Masur, we've seen twice already. We saw him in The Thing and Risky Business.

Which means you've heard this monologue from me twice now.

Yes.

And this is the third time.

Yes.

In which I will tell you how much I love Richard Masur, how I identify with him and how, had the movie of somebody else's life that I'm involved in being made in the 1980s, that he would have played the role of me. Thank you.

Yes.

This has been a public service announcement from me to you.

So then eventually, Swann, who is on his endless Sunday drive in the desert.

He's just having a motorbike. He's using his heads up display to try to contact his pit crew still.

Finds the dead codger. Okay. So he is now encountered.

Does he bury that guy too?

No. He is encountered an older, two old men who one he's killed and the other he's found dead.

Yes.

One Mexican in like a poncho and like period Western garb, and now there's another old codger in period Western garb.

The Serapé game in this movie is pretty strong, I got to say.

I mean, it's a little loosey goosey.

All right.

I'm just trying to say something nice, come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He still has not figured it out at all.

Nope.

There's nothing. I'm like, dude. Anyway.

You did not stumble into a Civil War reenactment, buddy.

No.

Okay, go on. By the way, not that he has that idea either, you know?

No. Then we get, unexpectedly, naked Fred Ward.

He's in the river?

He goes, he takes a skinny dipping bath.

He's pretty sweaty. Yeah, he's pretty sweaty.

In the river, clearly. And so he disrobes. Apparently, he does not wear underwear.

Commando.

And he starts...

Now, that was a good movie, wasn't it, producer Brad? Commando?

That was enjoyable, too.

Okay.

Would have been funny if Commando wasn't just that he was a Commando, but also that Schwarzenegger didn't wear underwear in that movie.

And that he was sent back in time to the Old West in 1877.

Without underwear.

Yes, without underwear.

Okay, anyway. I'm shocked you're not ringing the bell yet, producer Brad.

And then he inadvertently changes history by inventing underwear. Okay.

And that's how he doesn't become his own grandfather because he invented underwear. Yes.

But then.

And there was no access.

Peering through the reeds.

Producer Brad, I promise I'm not drunk.

I'm just moving on.

You can go on, yeah. There's not that much to go. Just go ahead, whatever.

Oh my God, I'm going to kill you. Peering through the reeds on the other side of the river with noticeable fascination is the equally naked Belinda Bauer, who just so happens to be taking her own bath in the river, unbeknownst to Fred Ward.

First of all, I'm so happy that I'm the one exasperating you for a change. This is like the best day of my life. And two, I want to say the only movie that I ever really want to see remade is, I want to see Terminator 2 with Belinda Bauer and Barbara Carrera as the Terminators. How fucking awesome would that movie be?

I mean, we do get Belinda Bauer in RoboCop 2.

That's true, we do, yes, which is as close as we're going to get.

Which is also a bad movie.

But she was also in a movie last year, too, for us. She was in Flashdance.

Yes, yes, she was.

She was the ex-wife.

The ex-wife.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's so pretty.

Fun fact. Let me go to go on a tangent here, because this is the introduction to Belinda Bauer, who is the one bright light of intellect.

Oh my God.

Shining in the darkness of dumbness that just pervades everything.

And weirdly, this movie is a parable about women being smarter than men. I mean, it's a feminist film.

Yes, and I feel for her. No, no.

Not in any way, no.

No, unfortunately. So Belinda Bauer, I was like, what happened to her? Because she's great. And she had kind of a moment and a stretch across some films.

The screen presence is amazing, what she brings to the end.

Also, and any excuse that I have to bring up Airwolf again, I will do. My first encounter with Belinda Bauer was the pilot movie of Airwolf, where she plays the ill-fated paramour femme fatale kind of counterpart to Stringfellow Hawk, who meets a horribly tragic ending, forever seared in my psyche. And she's just freaking great. Yeah. So what happened to her? She apparently worked up until, I think, Poison Ivy 2 in the 90s, and then retired from acting, completely pivoted to become a psychologist in Los Angeles.

Belinda Bauer could be my psychotherapist? And I've been going to that guy all this time?

She may hopefully be happily retired right now and living on a beach, enjoying life, as I hope and imagine she deservingly is. But yeah, imagine if you could have had Belinda Bauer as your psychologist. I just, I can't even. I can't even contemplate the person I would be now.

I wouldn't be able to talk about, yeah, I just be like, hi Belinda, how are you?

We would not be doing this podcast if we had had the-

Do you think she would have made us cool?

She could have, who knows what wonders she could have done for us.

Oh, I thought producer Brad, I just saw producer Brad reach and I thought he's going for the bell. Okay, so the bad guys show up.

Yes.

Because they're chasing after- Yes.

Do you remember what you said when you first saw the scene before the bourbon kicked in?

No. What did I say?

She's watching, Belinda is watching Fred Ward, you said, oh my God, female gaze.

Yes.

Yes. This is significant.

Is it though?

It is, because there's a payoff. It's a setup to a payoff we get, which is rare in this film. So I'm like, I'm cherishing everyone I get.

You're taking him wherever you can. Okay, I got you.

So she is stealthily like a ninja in a nymph of the river, observing everything through the reeds, both Fred Ward and then the bad ombres who come opposite. And then Swann overhears them arguing because Tracy Walter is having second thoughts about not bearing the old codger.

Right, right.

And anyway, Swann then startles them.

Right.

Again, clad in his suit. And so they freak out because they're like, what the hell is that?

This kind of becomes the inciting nexus of the film because Belinda Bauer gets her first look at Fred Ward, and she likes what she sees. And also, she likes his sweaty musk.

And also recognizes that he is a human being underneath his leather motorbike armor.

His demonic garb. But also, it's the moment when the bad guys see the motorcycle and the motorcycle becomes the McGuffin for the movie, correct?

Yes. And Tracy Walter, and again, I wanted more of this in the movie. Tracy Walter is convinced instantly this must be the ghost of the old Codger that Peter Coyote killed, who's come back to haunt them because they did not properly bury him.

I don't remember anything that you're saying.

And Peter Coyote, and I have no idea what quotes or clips we have. I'm gonna guess we have this clip, which is- Probably. Peter Coyote, he does have, okay, we don't have this clip. He does have these little glimpses of coherence that penetrate his stupidity. And he recognizes, no, that's not a ghost. That's a man on some kind of machine. I want that machine. Right. So now we establish, in the clunkiest way possible, the dramatic tension between our protagonist and antagonist, of which the protagonist is unaware.

And I would like to, yes, absolutely, he doesn't know anyone has beef with him. He's just riding through this movie. Let's hear clip number three, which is not quite in time here, but which kind of lays out why the bad guys want the thing. Producer Brad, could you regale us with clip number three?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Claude, you all right? You all right, Claude?

If General Lee had had that machine, we'd have won the war.

Uh-huh, so now we know he's a bad guy because he's a Confederate, right?

Yes.

And I think that kind of lays out why he wants, I mean, not that he wouldn't want the motorcycle, but it gives us a motivation.

Yes, yes.

And actually, in the aftermath of the scene we're describing, we hear a clip. Let's just load up some clips here. Producer Brad, can you give us a clip?

Well, I don't want to get too far ahead because the clips are getting ahead of where we are in the film.

No, no, no, no. This clip is exactly where we are in the film. Clip number two is exactly where we're in the film. Exactly.

He's going backwards, Paul. Hold on.

It's Timerider, my friend.

You're going back.

You're going forward. If you can't ride time, then get out of the Lyle Swann business. That's going to be our blurb.

Oh, my God.

Producer Brad, clip number two, please.

Listen, it's down the springs. There was a man there dressed like I've never seen. And he had a machine, a rioting machine. Reese and the Dortholts rode up while I was there. They were afraid. They started firing at him. So then this man, he got on the machine. He rode it away like a horse. Reese and the boys went after him, but the machine was much faster.

Yep. So we're almost at that point.

All right, all right, all right. Get us to that point.

So I just, again, set the table. What has happened to Lyle Swann? He has been transported with a monkey capsule back in time, unfazed, doesn't get what's happened.

And un-lunkied.

And then the monkey teleports back. He finds and scares to death a Mexican peasant in the Old West. He then finds a dead old Western Codger. Now he is confronted by a trio of bad cowboys with really bad teeth, shooting, like, period weapons at him and everything.

And they look like the archetype. They're literally not. My question is, because everything in this movie is such a cliché.

He still has no idea that he has been transported back in time. It is insane.

But because everything in this movie is such a cliché, maybe he thinks they're just dressing up?

That he's wandered into some Western ren fair? I don't know.

I don't know. Oh my God. Oh my God. There's a ren fair going on in LA right now. Can we go dress as Lyle Swann? Can we? And pretend that we're... Never mind.

Gotta find a bike. Gotta find a bike.

So, oh my God, I have a mission in life.

So then, Javi, Swann continues his Sunday drive, fleeing from the cowboys that he still hasn't processed. He arrives, then, in this Mexican town, a mission town.

But then, yeah.

And I just... Choices were made. So there's a lot of typical stereotypical set dressing.

It's a hacienda.

Whatever. Okay, this is probably still part of Mexico at this time.

Look, I have seen illustrations in the front of like tortilla chip bags that looked more period accurate than that set. What?

Did you notice what is conspicuously hanging throughout the village, the exteriors? There's like these hanging...

Did you notice this? The wretched hacked off remains of my interest?

No. There's hanging dried fish, like everywhere.

Where'd they get the fish? Like they have a stream.

Yes. They're in New Mexico.

There's a stream. No, there's a stream.

These are big. These are big fish.

Are these like Baja California, like Rosarito Beach fish?

They're as desiccated as the plot of this film, but it's a very weird choice. But yes, so then Belinda Bauer arrives first, as we just heard, tells the priest or the pastor, the Padre.

You mean desiccated fish don't spell Old West for you? Is that a thing?

It's very strange. When you think Old West, you don't think like, we're going to have a lot of dried fish hanging around.

That's why I think Lyle Swann is stupid, because I can ignore the other stuff, but you see the dead fish, I'd be like, oh yeah, fuck, I've traveled in time to the Old West.

Meanwhile, we get a cutaway, because we need more players in the mix. There is a pair of marshals out on patrol or something.

One of them is played by? The head marshal is played by?

What's his name?

LQ. Jones, who is not only a great character, Western-type character actor, but also directed the film A Boy and His Dog.

Yes, and he is perhaps, and let me think about this, the only character in the film with a backstory.

And a brain.

I mean, no.

Belinda Bauer, Belinda Bauer.

He demonstrably, in Act 3, does not have a brain.

See, I forgot.

And he pays dearly for that biological deficiency. Swann is still trying to figure out the goddamn map. And I'm like, why do you even carry a map if you can't read? He can't read the map, he has no... And also, it's just like, get a clue. How is it not, nothing is registering with this guy. He's a moron.

You've seen cowboys, you've seen horses, you've seen dried fish, for God's sake.

Swann, they attack him, they catch up to him, because he's been killing time, staring at the scenery and trying to reconcile it with this map that he doesn't even know which way to hold up. Richard Masur gets the drop on Swann, but he flinches, because he's not a cold-blooded killer, maybe. And then Swann takes the opportunity to do a wheelie or something, and skid a bunch of gravel and dirt into his face and escape. And then Peter Coyote, whose character's name is Reese, I think, lays into him by exclaiming, and I hope you have this quote, because I can't do it justice, but he says, you crap head, you yellow chicken shithead. Which I mean.

Yeah, okay. You know what, you know what, I don't have this quote, and I prefer your interpretation of it. I want to hear, your dramatic reading of it is quite compelling.

I mean, this is screenwriting.

You crap head.

You yellow chicken shithead.

You know what this reminds me of that speech in Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, you know, you fuck, you fairy, you company man. Yeah, it's Mammoth, I love it. I think Mammoth saw this, and I think he went, I got it. And meanwhile, Yes, go on.

Tracy Walter, who is, I don't know, looking down at the ground in shame, maybe, happens to find an artifact from the future.

Wow, I don't remember any of this.

He finds Swann's inadvertently discarded Boy Scouts compass.

Oh, okay.

And they're fascinated by this. And we never see it again. It's a setup with no payoff. And I'm just like, what? Why?

I'd like to read you my note from this section of the movie. It just looks like they got the bare minimum of coverage. Yeah.

So now, like, so Swann arrives at the Mexican village. Everyone's freaking out, El Diablo, you know, Dios mío. That's like all the whatever. And the bad cowboys are after him. There's a chase around the buildings and through the set that they utilize as much of the set that they can. And, oh yeah, first, oh, I'm sorry, I'm skipping ahead. So first there's a bit, it's so tempting to skip ahead, but there's a good moment here. First, they think they've cornered him in a gorge. And again, inexplicably, Swann has no idea what's going on. And he says, who are these assholes? And it's like, I wish we had that clip. But, cause it's funny, his reading is funny. But then he escapes by doing a stunt jump over them. And that's then when we get the Peter Coyote quote about General Lee. Which is funny, cause it's like, he's kind of pulling a General Lee Dukes of Hazzard jump on his bike over them.

Oh my god, this movie works on so many levels, Paul.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

I'm seeing subtext, I'm seeing meta-text, I'm seeing everything.

So now Swann finally enters the village. He doesn't seem to realize this is an anachronism.

No, no, he's asking questions, because we get clippings.

He's racing around, everyone's yelling El Diablo, and everyone is freaking out except Belinda Bauer, who is unfazed, because of course she has seen the man naked, and she liked it. The bad cowboys arrive, chase him around. Belinda brilliantly, savilly saves him by directing him down into a kind of basement, whatever, and-

I think her sexton, because, yeah, anyway.

Something like that. Like under the basement of the church, it seems to be. And then, when cornered by Carl, who is Tracy Walter's character, she shoots his fucking nose off.

She shoots his nose off, yeah, yeah. That's amazing.

But he shoots first.

He does. He does.

Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Clearly, she is the better shot. Then she goes down, and we finally get a scene with our two leads.

There's actual dialogue with our leads where Fred Ward has, like, Fred Ward's character actually wants something, and he's having a dramatic need in the scene that he articulates in clip, I think, number four.

Hey, what the hell is happening here, huh? I mean, why are those guys shooting at me like that? Hey, look, I was just in the Baja 1000, the race, and oh, I got lost. Hey, you got a phone I can use? I'll reverse the charges. I just need to call someone, let them know where I... Do you have a phone?

For those of you born after 1995, it used to be that long-distance calls cost you money, anything outside of a 100-mile radius from where you were, and you had to pay, so he's offering to refund her the cost of the call, which is very gallant, I think. What a gentleman.

Or to reverse the charges by, I guess, making a collect call, maybe, so that the other... It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. How is he so dumb? How is he so dumb that there is no evidence of any modern technology anywhere?

There's dry fish? Yes. No, they don't have, like, fish-drying machines. They're doing it au naturel. I mean, that's a dead giveaway.

They, he, he's a goddamn moron. It makes no sense that he is the stupid.

You have the advantage of 40 years of time travel movies. In 1982, how many movies would Lyle Swann have seen to prepare himself for this?

And he's not a nerd. He's probably seen, like, two movies.

Brad, it does not matter because, here, fun fact, you know what happened to Lyle Swann? He was teleported through time. He actually, that happened to him, and somehow he didn't notice the weird quantum leap glow and the whole, like, moveable.

His visor was down.

He's got the helmet, the helmet with the overhead display. He probably didn't even see it because the overhead display was displaying it.

And again, it's just like, like, none of these, he's not able to connect any of these dots. Like, it's just like...

You're being very judgmental, Paul. I got to tell you, like, you know, like, I'm beginning to side with producer Brad here. I mean, look, I know that the family therapist isn't supposed to take sides, but I mean, you're kind of, you're kind of laying into it a little bit. You got to give Lyle Swann a little grace here, you know? This man's been through a lot. He killed a Mexican.

Anyway, meanwhile, top side, top side. Peter Coyote faces off with the Padre. And then finally, like, they take off to go tend to Tracy Walter's wound. Belinda, I'm just calling her Belinda, her name's Claire.

Yeah, I have no idea.

Yeah, I don't even know who anyone is. Says that he's in, he's like, where am I? He's like, you're in San Marcos. He's like, it's not on my map.

Again, he's like, show me the map. Where's San Marcos?

It's not, nothing's occurring to him at all. And she's kind of, I think, messing with him, which I like. But it would make more sense.

You're giving it so much credit.

We're getting this later. Meanwhile, villagers are still freaking out. Pastors trying to calm them, convince them that Swann isn't the devil.

He's not el diablo, no?

He's not el diablo. But instead, he has been sent by God. And then all the villagers fall to their knees and immediately just buy this bullshit, which is, you know.

By the way, did you say who plays the Padre? Have you said the...

Ed Lauder.

Yes.

The great Ed Lauder, yes.

And again, which is...

Another wonderful character actor you've seen everywhere.

This will be a dated reference to some in the future. But it's about as plausible bullshit as saying, oh, no, that image wasn't me as Jesus, it was me as a doctor or Red Cross worker. I mean, it's just like, forget it. Like, you are taking your followers for fools. The movie is so dumb. The marshals then arrive and the pastor then informs Belinda, or Claire, and Swann. And the marshal gets a beat on them. So the marshal is starting to kind of see, oh, okay, who is this guy? Starting to figure some stuff out. Meanwhile, okay, the abundance, the overwhelming preponderance of experiential, tangible, lived experience evidence that Swann has been confronted by every turn since he's been transported in time. You're so offended by this.

I love this, Paul. You're so upset. It is. You're so angry.

It finally sparks a glimmer of questioning and curiosity in Swann's mind. And he starts thinking, maybe this is a cult.

I forgot about that. I forgot about that.

Really?

That's in the movie? That's pretty clever. I like that.

Yeah. And again, it would have been funny if they'd done more with this, but it doesn't go anywhere.

Like, Lyle Swann literally goes to the whole movie thinking he's like with some sort of weird Wild West Hare Krishna thing and, oh, I like that, yeah.

Then Claire and Lyle Swann finally introduce themselves.

What is Claire's last name?

Cygna.

Which means?

Swann.

Yeah!

This movie!

Ha ha ha!

This movie is not subtle.

What? I find that... Are you kidding? That's like Chekhovian.

Hey, when I was 13, I didn't know. I didn't catch it.

So once they...

I thought it was a reference to The Black Hole.

So once they introduce themselves, Claire, out of the blue, as soon as she gets...

I don't know her. I don't know her. I don't know her. There's a man with a weird machine from the future. He's dressed like Satan. He's wearing a helmet. He has a renewable source of energy that nobody can possibly understand, not even in his century. And what does she do with him?

At gunpoint, she orders him to take his clothes off.

And she kind of rapes him.

No. Maybe.

See, this is like reverse Deathstalker, where you're like, did he rape her? I mean, she kind of...

Here's the thing. There is a mystery in the edit, because we cut away to the time lab, which is just for coverage, because they have no idea what's happening.

I think they're making like a breakfast burrito in the microwave. Like literally, it's like, ding, and then a guy opens the microwave and takes out the burrito and it's too hot. And then they cut back to Lyle Swann.

We cut back to Claire and Swann naked in bed.

Yes.

Just going to town. And so there's a gap there in terms of...

They're not only going to town, they're more like going to the village. Sorry, go on, Paul. I think I have found my true purpose in this podcast. I think I know who I really am. Now Paul needs a break.

So here's my question. While she did threaten him at gunpoint to disrobe, was that the end of her threat of violence? Or was that sufficient for him to be like, okay.

Look, my memory is not reliable as we have shown. He says to her, a girl can't blank, he's basically saying, well, a girl can't do this to a guy. And she goes, yes, I can. So I mean, he thinks it's like, yeah.

Yeah. So anyway, in that cut, any number of interactions could have happened that could have gone in either direction. I perhaps charitably am hoping that this was a positive, healthy interaction.

After he disrobed and she held them at gunpoint, they discussed limits, safe words.

She put the gun away.

Yeah, exactly.

And he got a little kink joy out of this.

Yeah.

And they got on as consulting adults do because he's clearly immediately smitten with her.

Well, I think it's because like Deathstalker, having sex with her makes you...

Also, it's Belinda Bauer, okay? Now, it's clear to us that Padre Quinn...

Well, can we go back to the sex scene real quick?

Yeah, sure.

Sure. Only for a moment.

It's at the 55-minute mark in the film.

Okay.

And in Vincent Camby's review of the New York Times, he said he walked out of the screening at the 55-minute mark. So he made it all the way through the sex scene and then he left.

Wow. Wow. Well, there you go. And dear listeners, we're almost in record time, almost two-thirds of the way through the film.

It's amazing. Paul, this is, we broke the sound barrier getting through the plot of this film.

We're cooking with gas that the motorbike has a limited supply of.

With a shockingly unlimited supply of gas. Go on, Paul. Give it to me.

So, here again, the dramatic opportunity that is not fully actualized. It's clear that Padre Quinn has the hots for Belinda Bauer, because, I mean, who wouldn't?

Who wouldn't?

And so he's conflicted, but he's also a man of God, presumably, although he has no problem bullshitting-

Well, throwing a heresy at his own followers in order to get them to settle the fuck down? Yeah, that's a problem.

He goes to find the bad cowboys, Peter Coyote's gang, and because he's clearly not happy with the effect that Swann is having on Claire.

Right.

And so he snitches to the bad guys, telling them that the marshals are at the village. Then we're back with Lyle and Swann, and he is-

Well, how's that snitching to the bad guys? Is he basically saying they can come kill the marshals?

Yes, he is going to tip off the marshals. I mean, going to tip off the bad guys. That the marshals are there waiting for them.

Wow, there's a plot, there's a complexity here that it's skipped entirely.

I think he also tipped off where the motorcycle was too.

Yes, yes, yes. Of course.

Hey, but then we have a little pillow talk with Lyle and Claire. Should we hear that? Just because we cut back to that, right? By the way, the thing I put in this, in my note here is...

It's a really nice compliment that Swann gives Claire.

Let's hear it. Clip number five, producer Brad.

You're the strangest woman I've ever met.

Because I know my own mind, Mr. Swann.

Why don't you call me Lyle?

I prefer not to.

Hey, who are you? Where are you from? What are you doing here?

I told you, I'm Claire Signet.

There you go.

Okay.

Now, I mean, she's kind of the man in this movie, to be honest with you. She has much more of a, I'm sorry?

She's in total control.

Yes.

She is.

She is mostly awesome in this movie. But again, this scene, so frustrating because it like walks right up to awesomeness and it completely shits the bed. Because two things. First of all, she does mention the Civil War and he kind of perks up at that, but not enough to make the synaptic connection that he has traveled back in time. Like still is not getting it.

Is that clip number six?

Yes.

Oh, let's hear it. So we're going to get a little bit of a flavor of what's going on here.

Civil War. My God, what's happening here? Claire, do you realize how weird everything you just said to me was? I mean, what in the world is happening here?

You ride this machine, Mr. Swann. No one's ever seen that before. It's you should be explaining.

Yet the mental math eludes him somehow.

Yeah, okay, these people have never seen a motorcycle before. They don't know what a phone is. Like, dude.

They don't know Los Angeles. Los Angeles, he goes, ooh, Los Angeles.

Yes, yes. Now, then here is the moment where I'm leaning in. Because like this enticement where she says, she's asking me like if about him and he can read. Because she has.

She shows him her books.

Among her possessions that are primarily weapons and ammo, she has three books.

Yeah, Mark Twain, Uncle Barry Fenn is one of them.

We don't know what they all are, which is so frustrating. We know what one of them is that she asks him to read. But Javi, I wanted to murder the screenwriters because it's like you walked right up to the fountain. How is it not a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court?

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

What the fucking fuck?

Okay. Anyway, you know what, Paul? I understand your frustration, but it seems very specific.

This is maybe the most egregious act of screenwriting malpractice I've encountered in the totality of Multiplex Overthruster. Because it is the perfect cog in the machine to make everything work like clockwork. If you establish, and you use that as the pivot point of revelation for him to realize I've traveled through time, just like in this Mark Twain book. And it's also why Claire is ahead of him because she has read it. It's one of the books she owns.

But the book was published in 1889, 12 years after this. So the screenwriters were historically accurate.

Which again is stupid. Why are you going to introduce Mark Twain to the proceedings as like, oh, she has three books and it's Mark Twain and you're building towards this. But it's like, no, but it's not the thing that would make everything make sense and work. And that would be poetic and like, it's so infuriating.

Isn't it a bigger act of screenwriting malpractice though? That literally the MacGuffin gets stolen because the hero is getting laid. Like, it doesn't, the villains don't have a clever plot to do this. Literally Lyle Swann is getting laid and some shemp finds the bike in the barn.

So first, a villager or someone who works in the church. Like, yeah.

But do you know who plays the shemp?

Who plays the shemp?

Miguel Sandoval.

Oh, he's shemp?

Yeah, a very young version of him.

Oh my God, I love that man. First of all, a recurring actor in a lot of Alex Cox's work who directed famously Repo Man. I don't know if he's in Repo Man, and I think he is. Or he's at least in the unofficial sequel to Repo Man, but he's in a lot of Alex Cox's stuff. And also I met him because he was the DA on Medium. And I gotta tell you, a lovelier, more generous and kind man, I mean, I really adored working with him and meeting him. So that's just my Javi celebrity corner for the episode. Thank you, good night. We've ticked that off on the bingo card. So he was champ.

He was champ. Very young Miguel Sandoval.

So he gets one comedy bit, which is discovering the motorbike, trying on the helmet, getting on the bike. He tries to giddy up like a horse, like slapping it. It doesn't work. Turns on the cassette player.

80s music plays in the headphones, right?

In the helmet, which freaks him out. Then the bad cowboys arrive. And yeah, that's not good for him. But then meanwhile, we cut back to...

Do they scare him to death?

They rough him up. Then we're back to Swann and Claire, and we get the bit about this mysterious necklace Swann happens to be wearing.

What's this?

Uh, it was my great-great... Well, I don't know, way back there someplace. Great-grandfather's. My grandmother stole it from him.

Okay.

As a reminder of one incredible night they had together. He took off, and she went to LA to find him, but never did. She started her own business. Nobody remembers what. At least they ain't saying. She became the great matriarch of the Swann clan. She passed it on down to her granddaughter, and on like that, to Mom gave it to me when I was 21. Anyway, it's supposed to bring me luck. Does it work? Doesn't it ever?

It is an extravagant example of a lack of subtlety and just like beating you over the head as hard as possible.

They telegraph this movie.

Where everything is going and what this movie is about and what it is and like, then you, like there's, it's like, well, of course, then you're just waiting for the payout because it's like, let's know where it's going. Let's see.

Let's get on with it.

Yeah. Now, OK, we have we have Pastor Quinn now fully jealous, bursts in on the two of them as they're getting dressed, which has got to be the most emasculatingly infuriating experience of this guy's life. And it tells Swann he's got to leave. But of course, Swann discovers his bike has been taken. And so now he decides because he's a moron. He's heard that there are marshals there. He wants to go talk to the marshals to report a crime that his bike has been stolen. Right. And again, still thinking that this is just a weird cult. And so he goes and does this and it doesn't go well. They like shoot it. Meanwhile, Richard Masur is hiding, still hiding in this basement thing. Oh, knocks out Claire and a oh and a duck, sir. While Swann has this this tortured conversation with the marshals reporting a stolen bike, asking asking if they've got a radio to call it in and still doesn't figure it out when they don't know what a radio is. It's just he just gets dumber and dumber and dumber, even after the exchange with Claire.

Do you think the time travel like like don't make them stupid?

You know, that's interesting.

Like maybe there was something in the time travel that like like, you know, this this hobby, I got to I got to give you a star. Maybe that's the ticking clock. It keeps getting worse. This this is what the monkey keeps getting smarter.

This is an importance. Maybe they exchanged brains.

Oh, shit. But that's a movie. That's a movie, Paul.

But, Javi, Javi, yes, sir, this is not to channel your prior and far superior podcast with the great Jose Molina, Children of Tendu.

Thank you. You're very kind.

We have struck upon an important screenwriting lesson, which is the superpower that is ADR. Imagine, if you will, the powers that be in this film had just dropped in one line of ADR into any of the myriad cutaway scenes to the future time lab, where someone says we're concerned about possible mental degradation or brain damage that can be incurred by time travel, which is why we're testing it on the howler monkey instead of a human yet.

And then it's like, oh, the howler monkey who is now riding a bike with great mastery.

Maybe. And maybe it's like a fly scenario where there's been some kind of psychic.

This is the greatest day of my life. I don't even know. Yeah.

You have everything you need to make that work. All it took was one line of ADR.

You know, The Monkey could have been the linchpin to making this a great film. And this reminds me of Fred Ward's greatest line in the movie The Right Stuff. I think you know which one I'm going to say, don't you? The problem here ain't pussy. The problem here is monkey.

Maybe Fred didn't want to work with monkeys again.

I think Fred got too much monkey in The Right Stuff and he's going to, you know, yeah, okay, anyway.

And that, by the way, that's a great movie.

That is a great movie. Why didn't we watch it? That was on VHS. I bet that was on VHS. Anyway, go on, go on, go on. Keep going.

Peter Coyote now arrives, triumphantly dragging his prize of the motorbike on its side into this encampment of bad guys. It's like some big playhouse of evil. And there are all these bad cowboys. And then, meanwhile, Claude, Richard Masur, is following close behind with a still unconscious Claire that he delivers to Tracy Walter so he can exact revenge for shooting off his nose.

Right, right, right.

Then, very quickly, the pastor, the marshals, and now a poncho-clad swan, so we get an alternate action figure, to depart the Mexican village, to go rescue Claire and presumably recover his bike. And then we get another pseudo-comic scene or attempt thereof.

Is this the one where they're sitting on the bluff and Lyle Swann offers them energy bars?

No. This is the one where Peter Coyote sits on the motorbike.

Oh, this is the scene we began with, where he's trying to get the... Okay, so we actually do have a clip from this.

Yes.

This actually leads to the clip we started the podcast with.

Yes.

Producer Brad.

That's right. That's right. Kick it again. Harder. Kick it.

You know, just listening to that, the movie going on in my head that goes with all those sound effects is so much better than the movie they made. Like, I'm in the city growing, I see like, I don't know, it's amazing. Okay, anyway.

Peter Coyote, he manages somehow to start the bike.

Yes, he accidentally hits the Kickstarter.

Which then immediately lurches out of control and catapults away, freaking all these bad cowboys out who instantaneously, simultaneously start unloading their guns. Shoot it! At the inanimate object that is the motorcycle, because they're freaking out. And then...

The inanimate, yeah, it was alive and moved on its own. So to them, it's alive.

Yes, of course. It was possessed by the devil. After which, probably it takes them a little too long just to tell them to stop shooting at it. Peter Coyote exclaims, you butt heads.

Right. And then we get that great line for them.

You shot it. And there's an arrow in the gas tank.

Which doesn't seem to impede the motorcycle's ability to continue to run endlessly. No.

Then we get a very uncomfortable scene of Claire tied up in bed with a lecherous and kind of very scarred, noseless, but bandaged, bloodied Tracy Walter pondering his options for revenge and he pulls out a knife and says he's going to, no woman who looks like her would want to be with him now the way he looks. So he's going to make her like him and cut her nose off. But before he can, Claude Richard Masur intervenes or Peter Cody does. And then Richard Masur tries to kiss her against her will. And then she bites him, which is pretty great, then repelling her and defending herself. So, yeah, then we get the stakeout of the good guys at dusk, looking at the scoping out the encampment and...

And this scene goes on for an eternity.

It goes back and forth. And it's so simple. It's like, why are you? It's like you're just killing time. But the basic point is, and we may or may not have this clip, where the deal that Swann makes with the marshal and the Padre is he first says, the clip is funnier, but he says something that makes no sense to them. And then he translates it again to say, you help me get my machine, I help you kick ass.

Right. But see, what you're missing is the great part of the scene, which is the anachronism humor.

Then they do the energy bar bit.

Yeah, clip number nine, producer Brad. Shit, that comedy. Come on. Gold.

Energy bar. What is it? Well, it's dried nuts, fruit, no preservatives. Come on, take it. You'll like it.

Was that it? That's it. I mean, they milk the humor from the anachronism in such a masterful way, Paul.

It's also like, he hasn't eaten this whole time. You're waiting till now to pull out, not one, but he has multiple energy bars?

Oh, no, he's got a lot of energy bars, yeah. Here's the other thing. I think he's on Monjaro, he doesn't have that big an appetite, so it's fine.

Here's the other thing. In contrast to ET, again, that shares Peter Coyote with his film, what a missed opportunity for product placement. I mean, I'm almost like, why bother to do that?

Nature Valley, Granola Bar, any number of things, yeah. Which existed at that time. Yeah.

I don't know. Again, maybe I should give the film credit for not succumbing to crass commercialism, but still.

All I know is I wrote a lot of bad masters.

Yes. Swann then uses his helmet, which somehow still has not run out of juice for his night vision. And he freaks out the marshal in them with his technology. And then he pulls out glow sticks that he also has. And again, he's still not understanding how have they never seen a helmet or a glow stick. It's like, dude, you have traveled back to the 1800s. Like you moron. And you're surrounded by cowboys. Like it's just, and there's, I just can't with this guy.

Do you think it would have been funny if at some point, like LQ. Jones or somebody had turned to him and be like, bro, you're from the future. You're clearly from the future. Would it have been funny if the cowboys had figured out before he did? That would have been funny.

I mean, Claire clearly figured it out. I think it's unquestionable that she connected the dots and is keeping it to herself wisely. Then they planned their infiltration, which is horrible. The marshal is inept, although he is really good at garroting a guy and apparently later we hear that he fully decapitated a guy.

I wrote a blood cum shot for this scene. Does that sound like anything anyone saw? Because I think one of the kills had a kind of bukkake kind of quality to it, yeah.

It definitely, there was definitely a splooge.

Gotcha. Okay, good, good.

That's as far as I would go in my characterization of it.

That's not the bourbon talking then, okay. My next note was, that is spectacular vintage hair.

Then we finally get backstory for one of our characters, the marshal. It turns out, his son was murdered by Peter Coyote's character, Reese. And so, the marshal is on a mission of revenge. Again, would have been good to know this sooner. At this point, it's like, who kind of cares? Swann recovers his motorbike, marshal Potter calls out Reese, who of course is not gonna meet him honorably for a duel.

Another great character actor in the posse, by the way, is Chris Mulkey. Another wonderful, you've seen him everywhere.

He's like the junior marshal. But Reese fakes him out and ends up shooting him in the back, murdering the marshal.

My note on this was, is there some Chekhovian subplot that is missing?

Yeah.

And then my next note was, wow, the music is doing a lot of light lifting here.

So music written by Michael Nesmith, who co-wrote the script and also-

Maybe not quite synced to the movie. Maybe just sort of, yeah. Just sort of like, you know, got some music.

The score is kind of doing its own thing. There's a lot of electric guitar, a lot of keyboard.

A lot of twang, a lot of twang.

But it's its own vibe that is not quite matched by the film.

The thing about the score is that the score, this is the kind of score that assumes that every line in the movie is very clever.

Yeah.

Right? And it's not. So, you know, Lyle Swann will say like, try an energy bar, it's full of nuts. And then the score will go, and you're like, no, it doesn't deserve that. And it happens like so frequently, like it always follows, it stings the line. And you're like, no, that's what you're doing.

I'm glad you brought this up because I, as difficult as it will be for you and our listeners to hear, I've approached this with a willful determination to not be overly harsh on the film.

Really? Okay.

But I will say, since you opened this door, this is a very stark example of a score not aligning with the film in the tone. They exist in different worlds. The score in and of itself, there are some cool musical things going on, but it is not in alignment with what is happening in the film. And like, given the example you gave, which is illustrative of many, it only makes moments that are intended to be funny less funny because it's just a little painful.

I also made a note during this action sequence that takes place. I'm not sure. I think it may be after what we're talking about.

Yes, once Swann apparently not only has energy bars and glow sticks in his racing suit, he's got flares.

I write, what's in all these pouches? Like, he literally has, like, he's wearing, like, the other reason we think he's so stupid, he's only got Batman's utility belt.

And he hasn't been using any of it.

None of it.

None of it.

Like, he probably has his Bat Shark Repellent. He probably has the Bat Three Minute Safe Cracking Device. He probably has the Bat Phone.

He has, he has, among his many seen and unseen, but assumed accoutrements, the powers of a god at his disposal. But he lacks the imagination or presence of mind to deploy them usefully.

Imagine if this film, actually, the field did actually take his memory.

Yes.

Right? And there was a cathartic moment, sometime, maybe halfway through the movie, where he realizes who he really is. Yes.

And starts using his, You know what that-

Connecticut, Yankee, and Ken Arthur's court, like, you know, sort of-

You know what that moment is?

She fucks the memory back into him.

Okay. Not what I was thinking.

Clearly we're not, clearly we're not in sync. Guess what I'm thinking about.

That could have been a step towards that. That could have, like, started to pry the door open. But I'm picturing a moment, like, a moment right out of Baraka, where the entire tone changes, the skyscape starts moving.

The monkey comes out of the pond, like the beginning of Baraka, right?

Exactly. Exactly. And the monkey has a transcendental moment of unflinching psychic eye contact deep into a swan's mind.

Oh, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul.

And unlocks his psyche in revelation.

As we say in The Writer's Room, let me give you a haircut on this, okay? This is what we say in The Writer's Room. Here's my haircut. For the whole movie, you keep cutting back to the present, and the monkey has gotten loose in the lab, and he's trying to reach a certain piece of equipment, and they keep holding him back, but the monkey's always trying to go for this one button, whatever the button is, right? And then finally, at this point in the movie, the monkey escapes, you know, and they're not able to get the monkey very cleverly, and he finally gets to push the button, and it's the button that transmits his Lyle Swann's consciousness back into his body, and the monkey heroically sacrifices his own enhanced intellect, that Lyle Swann may live, and that's when Lyle Swann remembers his true self. Oh my god, wow.

And, and, and here's the thing, because there's fleeting-

This is gold, I'm giving you gold.

There's fleeting narration in this film. The narration in our version-

Is the monkey's point of view.

Is the monkey, because, because the monkey lacks the biology, the vocal cords, to be able to speak words. So he is trapped in, in the limits of his, of his form.

Yes.

And he cannot express his thoughts, but he can only act on them. And so no one will ever truly know the sacrifice that he made, but we will, but we will.

Lyle, but Lyle will, Lyle will get it. When the consciousness goes back to him, this is a...

Just like we need to remake Firefox as a prestige Cold War limited series for HBO, we need to remake Timerider as a series.

As a, as a good movie. Okay, so-

Like we, like we need more to do.

Some light day has broken. They've gotten Belinda Bauer out of there. And there's something about the Squawk Box and the- What's going on, Paul?

So quickly, so Swann throws the flares, he and the junior marshal attack. The pastor has a moment where, as Swann is rescuing Claire, untying her from the bed, he has a moment of temptation to murder Swann in cold blood and shoot him through the window. But then instead, shoots Carl, Tracy Walter's character, who's about to kill him from the opposite window. And then the four of them, Swann, Claire, the junior marshal and the Padre, all escape. Now, meanwhile, in the time lab, they finally figured out a way that they're gonna send Dr. Sam, sadly not Dr. Sam Beckett, back in time on a three-hour timer search and rescue mission to retrieve Swann. And they've figured out who Swann is. They've made contact with his team, whatever. Who knows? Then we cut back and the sun has risen and they stop because the junior marshal is bleeding out. And Javi, the junior marshal dies. And then what does he do?

I don't know. I forgot.

Then he dies again. Because after he dies, he worked his back up in Zero Awakening. And I think he asks, he says, did I kill Reese? He wants to know if he got revenge.

Yeah, there's a touching moment.

If he avenged the senior marshal, and Swann lies to him and says, yes, you did. And so he dies again in peace. Now, they're on the run. Oh, by the way, Claire, importantly, then retrieves the junior marshal's gun. I guess kind of important. As Reese's posse, now this is the whole posse, like the whole big group of all the cowboy extras are all hunting down this now remaining trio. And Swann's motorbike, in the worst possible moment, finally runs out of gas. But he gets a radio signal.

The Squawk Box, yes.

Yes, from Dr. Sam, who has been sent to rescue him. Swann then, as he's pinned down and they're being shot at, retrieves a battery and the CB radio or whatever, and is like sending an SOS that hopefully he thinks maybe someone can locate or triangulate, even though they don't actually have the ability to triangulate because they... anyway.

There's only one point of transmission and one point of reception.

Very good. You get an A. And as they tow the motorbike with the horse up into the edge of a cliff, and they're cornered, they're back against a Butch and Sundance cliff of doom, and they run out of ammo, the bad guys are closing in, and the posse is pursuing them, like all is lost, and then, Javi, what is the duex machina of duex machinas?

The helicopter shows up.

There's a freaking helicopter.

Freaking helicopter.

I just have it in my notes in all caps. There's a freaking helicopter.

You know, like Michael Nesmith knew a guy, you know, and the guy was like, dude, you're making your movie fine, we'll give you a three, you can have a chopper for one hour.

Yeah.

That's what happened here.

Yes. Yes. If you will sing Last Train to Clarksville at my daughter's birthday party, I will loan you my helicopter for the afternoon.

Just like Redford in Civil War, he's like, and not just to fly by, you got to mingle.

Exactly. Exactly. So then we get a sort of the climactic Ashken sequence.

Sort of?

The posse freaks out, flees, scatters, except for Reese, who shoots at the helicopter, hits the pilot, sending the helicopter in a spin, which knocks the motorbike off the cliff.

Oh, it's spectacular. The motorbike just keeps being destroyed.

Tumbling and destroyed. It actually, it's really well done. They got lucky.

It's kind of like it reminded me in how long it was to like the sex scene in Team America. I'm like, wow, this is still happening, you know?

Yes. And it's like it was just within his grasp, Peter Coyote's prize of this machine that would allow him to take over the West. And it just is to re-litigate the Civil War. Out of his clutches. And then on top of that, but sadly in a cut off camera, because this is a PG movie, the rear stabilizer rotor of the spinning helicopter.

Does a magic bullet on Peter Coyote.

Just lawn mowers right through Peter Coyote, right down to the ankles.

That is some dead alive shit.

Leaving his shins sticking out of his boots.

I believe my note on this was French boots of blood. Because the boots have a very nice fringe on them, so yeah.

And then we get, like, not quite...

And then the movie just...

No. Go ahead.

No.

Because then, like, they stabilize the helicopter. The co-pilot, thankfully, is able to stabilize the helicopter, is calling to Swann to get him on board. Swann is like, oh, finally. People are saving me from this crazy cult, or whatever he thinks he's gotten pulled into. Gets pulled on the helicopter, and then he's trying desperately to bring Clare with him. But Clare understands her destiny. And silently, beautifully, as if a manifestation of the Madonna, gracefully reaches out and claims the necklace off of Swann's neck that she knows to be hers.

Yes, because it was given to Swann, Swann, which calls him Mr. Swann, her last name is Swann.

Yes, we've established this.

Layers, layers upon layers, my friend.

And she stays behind as the helicopter people, time team are telling him, no, we can't bring anyone back with us again. Swann still does not know this helicopter's been sent to the past or the future to rescue him because he's still an idiot. And he still doesn't know that he has just become his own, like, grand whatever. And she stays, takes the necklace, the helicopter rescues him, flies off, leaves her with the necklace and the jealous Padre on this beautiful cliffside. And the movie's done. It ends. It just stops.

It just, well, no, here's why I thought the movie had a voiceover because, no, they give us a little bit of context. They replay as a voiceover Lyle Swann's monologue about his great grandmother. In case you missed it.

Yes.

And then the movie just stops. It literally goes to the freeze frame and the credits roll.

And then we get like TV style credits with like stills, like freeze frame images under the credits. It's a TV movie. It feels like a TV movie.

Oh my God. Producer Brad, did this movie have any lasting cultural impact?

We watched it four times in the last month.

You poor bastards.

You know, I want to say something.

You shitheads.

Buttheads.

Buttheads.

I want to say something here, though. We've not been nice to Timerider. We've been rough on Timerider. We've been... But I want to say, producer Brad and I have not seen any of these movies together for the entirety of this podcast. And it was... And yes, there was Bourbon. And yes, I smoked some weed. So, you know, there was a lot going on. But I got to tell you, it was so nice to sit with producer Brad and...

This was my problem.

Drink some bourbon, smoke some weed and watch a fucking old timey movie together like we used to when we were kids. That was worth every minute of this movie because that's the experience that I want to have from this podcast, is that kind of remembering what it was like, you know, when we were 10 watching this kind of stuff on the movie. But now we can have Bourbon and Mar- Well, not producer Brad, because he's Captain America, but I can have Bourbon and Marijuana. Actually, no, producer Brad mixes the best, no, producer Brad mixes the best Manhattan on Earth. I'm just going to say that.

I am not going to question that. I just want to add, we've identified a key disparity and clear problem with my viewing experience, was that I was in the absence of such fellowship. And of drugs and of such chemical assistance.

Oh yeah.

Anyway, we never got another adventure of Lyle Swann because this was it. I would have loved to have gotten an adventure of Claire.

Claire Signet.

I feel like this is a tantalizingly intriguing, captivating character and actor and performance who's underserved and deserve better and more.

Yeah. But look, I think that's true of pretty much every...

Of every great woman.

There are so many great genre female actors who showed up and should have been the leads in their own movies and they weren't.

The closest thing we get...

The cultural impact.

Well, I think we can argue there's cultural impact on the Back to the Future 3.

The lines are there. William Deere, who was part of the Spielberg component eventually, all of this stuff, and the dates all match. So there's got to be some sort of, I mean, clearly somebody knew. So, where do you think the Nexus was?

It's the, I think this warrants further research between now and when we get to those films. It just seems wildly implausible as a coincidence. But, you know, this did not spawn a franchise. And I have to feel for Fred Ward, because the closest thing we get, two years from now, from 83, in 85, we get another...

You know, the adventure begins.

An adventure starring... Fred Ward. Intended to launch a franchise.

And this one, they made a promise.

Remo Williams.

Begins, the adventure begins.

Yes, with Captain Janeway, no less.

Both producer Brad and I owned the one-sheet poster for that movie. We loved that movie in high school.

We did.

I gotta say, Timerider, better poster.

Yeah.

Yeah. But we were young and that's honestly, that's the glory of this podcast. We can revisit our youth, but we also have an adult perspective and bourbon and marijuana. So, I mean, come on.

Yeah. I'm curious if there is a supercut, short version of Timerider that somebody has assembled. That's like a propulsive, entertaining, highlight reel.

Maybe a 15-minute version.

Maybe a tight 15, 20 minutes that may or may not exist. It didn't occur to me to look for this on YouTube, but if it does, we'll add it in the show notes. Maybe that's a challenge to our viewers.

I think what you're realizing is you have to make it. Somebody has to make it. You know, Paul, can I?

This was a long 94 minutes.

Yeah. So let's wrap it up here. Okay. So final thoughts. Box office results, producer Brad, how did this movie do?

Well, it was released and premiered in December of 82.

I don't think this movie was released. I think this movie escaped.

No, so it had its premiere in 82, but then it got its theatrical release in 83.

Okay.

It does not appear in the box office charts the week it was released. Now the movies that were new that week with it were House and Sorority Row, that shows up, Independence Day, not the one you're thinking of, and The Year of Living Dangerously.

Independence Day was the Kathleen Quinlan sort of a character study kind of based on a play, I believe.

I believe so. But the top three movies of that week were Tootsie, 48 Hours and The Verdict.

I mean, that's a pretty great lineup.

But to tell you what kind of film this is, it does show up on the Billboard VHS sales and rental charts.

Yes.

But it shows up in the charts, May 28, 1983, it shows up in the sales at number 24, and then it gets as high as number 19 in the sales. But it was mostly a rental, it made it the top 10 in the rentals, and that was about it.

What was the budget on this movie, producer Brad?

I don't think I saw a budget.

I don't think it's ever been revealed.

Wow, what a mystery. Imagine.

They got quite a good cast.

They got a great cast, they got a helicopter, they had this, I mean, yeah.

They made a movie, good for them, Michael Nesmith and company.

They, yeah, but come on, isn't that that's like, that's like when you're, when your kid wraps up a piece of paper or something, you're like, buddy, you did it. Come on, buddies.

There was a quote in Variety that the producers said that in the first month, they made 3.2 million.

In the first month of release?

It just says in the opening month, that's all the quotes has. But it doesn't show up in the charts. So was it just so limited release?

I get the feeling that this movie is sort of one of those independent movies where like, cause there was a phenomenon in the seventies, especially, like if you're an independent producer and you made a movie, you could literally just go straight to the theater owners and for what they used to call for walling the movie, where you'd go from town to town, rent a theater, show your movie for a week. You could for wall the movie and so some of these movies for sure like road shows, you know? And there's a huge road shows, the Cinderama road shows, but there's a lot of like that's how Billy Jack became a hit, you know? Like, so I'm wondering because Michael Nesmiths with such a kind of maverick in terms of independent video production and stuff like that, if this had some sort of weird release pattern that didn't... It might have.

It doesn't show up, so I bet that's true.

I'm sure we will get viewer mail on this. I guarantee it.

Now, Paul, do you want to set up our next movie? Your choice.

Next week, we officially enter 1984 with the iconic masterpiece, the timeless existential epic, the psychedelic phantasmagoria of poetry that is Repo Man.

Normal people avoid tense situations. Repo Man seeks out tense situations.

You know why? Because the life of a repo man is always intense.

I can't wait. This is so exciting.

I have not been this excited about a film on this podcast since... I don't even know.

Great. I don't even know. I can't wait to talk about it.

I cannot wait to watch this again. I haven't seen it in decades. However... But I used to know this movie by heart.

However, because this is Multiplex Overthruster, we're not going to see it till next week. And at that time, we will see you in line at the Multiplex.