Oh, you should be coming on pretty soon, dude. How much do you smoke?

This will be a little demonstration of that. Listen, listen up.

What was that?

That was my skull.

I'm so wasted.

Ooh, wow. That is a very young Sean Penn. And that's in these with Anthony Edwin. No, not Anthony, it was Eric Stoltz, right, on the phone?

Yes.

And they are talking about Getting Stoned. That was the sound, the maleficent sound of Sean Penn's bong or as Jeff Spicoli in his iconic role. paul, what do you make of that? How are you feeling?

Well, you know, this film is quite a journey. Yes, it is, right? It's a full sensory experience.

Just to set the table for us, paul, I want to say that to me, watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High is kind of what, like what I imagine it's like for normal people to watch Star Trek, you know? I mean, these are human beings. They're in a place. They seem to have problems to solve and relationships to have. But wow, they're just wearing weird clothing and I don't know what they're doing.

I could relate to that. I do think that for genre fans like us, normal films are sort of genre to us, their own genre. I recall, and this is a bit of a digression, but it's somewhat connected, sort of a spiritual cousin of Fast Times at Ridgemont High dazed and confused. I remember when that came out, describing it and this was with all respect in the world to the excellence of that film. But I said, well, to me, Dazed and Confused is a horror film. It is a genre horror film for me.

About being unable to escape a tedious reality?

Yes, and just in terms of the being surrounded by those people and having that caliber of social interaction. But I wouldn't go so far as to call Fast Times a horror film, but I'm still struggling to pin it as far as where it is. But it is, in now though, it's very much such a time capsule. It's such an interesting document.

I see it as a reverse Road Warrior. It's set in an apocalyptic present, and they have shit that you and I would have. They have tape players and Coca-Cola, and yet it's a reality that just does not in any way vibe with my understanding of the world. So, hey, on that note, I'd like to say I'm Javier Grillo-Marxuach.

And I'm paul Alvarado-Dykstra.

And this is…

Multiplex Overthruster, Summer of 82.

Our epic theme music today offers me no comfort because we're going into the urban wasteland of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Now, producer Brad, when did this movie open? What are the facts of this film? What do we know actually happened?

That was Friday, August 13th, 1982.

This movie opened on Friday the 13th. That explains a lot. What didn't we see that also opened this weekend?

Friday the 13th, part three, 3D.

Well, I guess that's better that we saw this one because at least it didn't scare us so much about premarital sex, right, paul? With all that premarital sex we were having in high school, right, you and I?

Yes.

Yeah, so much premarital sex.

This film has a very potent life lesson, which we will get to at the end. Yeah. So when and how did you first encounter this film? I never did.

This is the first time I've seen it.

Wow.

No, this is the kind of movie my brothers used to go watch because it had boobies. This was not on my radar when I was in Summer of 82. I had no interest in it. It had music I didn't like. Literally, my understanding of this film back then is no different from my lack of understanding of this film back now. It was not a thing. Now it's a thing that I obviously know all the quotes and everything, but now it's really a thing for me.

I recall having a vague cultural awareness of this, although I was far too young to get anywhere near this movie at the time it came out.

There's that too.

Yeah. I discovered it years later, probably on Cable, but I had not seen this in decades. So it's one of those things where I have the Swiss cheese memory of it, where there are certain iconic moments and lines that have permeated the cultural landscape that sort of everyone knows, whether you know the movie or not.

Right. Like, hey bud, let's party. Like things like that. Like this is sort of like the urtext that spawned Wayne's World and Bill and Ted in a weird way, you know?

Yeah. It's such an interesting springboard and or fulcrum for a lot of things that you can trace back to it in its influence and roots.

Yeah.

And it feels to me like it's arguably the definitive 80s high school comedy.

Yet this and not Porky Switch, as we all know, was a period piece about anti-Semitism. So there you go.

Exactly. It's an important distinction. And I would make another distinction between, I mean, there's the later, the John Hughes high school movies, which are really rom-coms.

Yeah.

And this is not a rom-com.

And also the John Hughes movies are so clearly written by like a dude in his 30s, whereas like this movie, Cameron Crowe actually went undercover in his mid-20s into a high school and actually wrote this based on his observations. So this, as powerful as so many of my peers thought Breakfast Club to be, I remember seeing that movie and thinking, this film is made of bullshit.

Yes.

And this one at least felt like a documentary in a much different way. Yeah.

And I think it still stands as this very intriguing anthropological essay on this particular subculture, which again, it's a movie, but it does also feel like this time capsule of walking the halls of high school at that period, and also more importantly, walking the mall.

Oh, the mall. The mall is a character in this movie. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And shout out to the Sherman Oaks Galleria, which is, I think, a co-lead character in this ensemble film. And it's just glorious. I just, I found most of my attention just being taken by the background and the setting of gazing at the glories of its majesty.

So it's interesting. You know, I live very near to the Sherman Oaks Galleria and I go there quite a bit. And it's interesting how little it looks like what's in this film. It has none of the life, none of the, I mean, it really is a very sterile sort of space that has, like, a very odd combination of shops that sort of survived the mall-pocalypse of the 90s and aughts, you know? But you know, paul, I was going to say that. So it looks nothing like this now. And mall culture is not what it was in the 80s. I mean, producer Brad and I spent a great deal of our high school years at the Briarwood Mall. And producer Brad, in fact, worked at the theater, much like the character in this film known as the Rat, though you were not a rat. And I mean, I remember the food stands. Everything in this movie feels very accurate, I suppose. And at the same time, like I just, it just was not my life. But I was going to say, paul, you know, you know, you brought up Dazed and Confused. And I think it's interesting because you had this movie in the 80s. You have Dazed and Confused in the 90s. And Linklater is, we can all agree. He's an amazing, amazing.

A master.

Yeah. But you know what this actually reminded me the most of was American Graffiti.

Interesting.

Which was, as you know, made by a bright young and never heard from again, a tour named George Lucas.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think this film felt like very documentary like, very anthropological. It doesn't really have... I mean, it's my turn to recap the plot. So let me just recap the plot so you can just kind of get what I mean. So it's sort of like the stories of a group of teenagers in high school. There are Stacey and Linda. Linda has a boyfriend who is much older who lives in Chicago, even though the movie takes place in LA. Stacey is trying to lose her virginity, which she does twice in the movie. It's kind of interesting. And then sort of their movies are sort of about their relationships with these two boys. One of them is Damone, who is kind of a very smooth talking, kind of Italian caricature. The Rat, who's the nerdy kid who works at the theater. Then you have Stacey's older brother Brad, who his entire story is that he works at one fast food joint and then he works at another fast food joint and then he works at a minimart where he becomes a glorious hero of the people. And then there's Spiccoli, who's a surfer dude. And I think sort of, like I said, he's sort of like the Irwain's world, kind of like, oh dude, you know, like Bill and Ted. And then his story is that he is in a history class with a character masterfully played by the great Ray Walston, whom we all know as my favorite Martian. No, we don't all know him as that.

Does anyone know him as Boothby?

Boothby?

Boothby!

Boothby.

From Star Trek The Next Generation, from Starfleet Academy, The Groundskeeper, Mentors.

Yes, yes, yes. Oh my God. Oh, I mean, Ray Walston basically just one of those guys who between 1945 and 1983 was in everything.

Yeah.

And he plays Mr. Hand and he's kind of Spicoli's nemesis. And at the end, they come to kind of a rapprochement. Stacey has a teen pregnancy and that sort of resolved very quickly and without much drama. And then they all go to a dance. That's kind of the movie, isn't it?

Yeah, so there isn't really a story, per se. It's sort of an assembly of interlocking situations.

Yeah. And it does have more of a situation than a story. You're absolutely right.

And it feels a little, dare I say, Altman-esque.

Yes.

And its construction is that we're kind of we have this pretty big ensemble of very distinctive characters. And I think one of the things that's so impressive to me in the film. But before we get that, let's ring the bell. Let's get to it. We've been remiss. We need to ring the bell.

Let's ring the bell. because I don't think we're going to go to the plot of this movie. We're just going to yap about it. because, yeah. OK, Apollo, give us the bell, please.

Ding, ding.

I will say, paul, that, you know, look, I'm going to joke a lot about this movie because I honestly, you know, whatever. It's just it's not my people. But I will say this. I think that, you know, it's funny that you bring up Altman and I bring up American Graffiti. This movie is a well-made film. Yeah. You know, it's probably Cameron Crowe's most real work that he ever did. It's before he got into really twee, sort of excessively ornate kind of music industry infused dialogue. So he's still kind of writing like a human being and just sort of feeding his little fetishes. I think Amy Heckerling's direction is naturalistic and wonderful and just influenced enough by music video and stuff like that. But really, the actors are phenomenal. I mean, I think Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Lee, of all people, and John Penn. I mean, Judge Reinhold is phenomenal in this. So, and I mean, look, I don't know whatever happened to, what's his name, Peter Romanis, who played Damone?

Robert Romanis.

Robert Romanis. I mean, I don't know what happened to that guy, but he should be Brando. He's amazing. I mean, I don't know. It's a really well-made movie. I mean, I don't have any, like, I'm not going to make fun of it the way we would make fun of Megaforce.

Yeah, no, this is legitimately, I think, a cultural milestone and a very significant film of the period, not just as a time capsule or curiosity, but as a showcase of a lot of truly wonderful work, even if it's not to everyone's taste. But right out of the gate, we got the beat by the go-gos to get our energy up, which is great.

That really helped me a lot, putting the go-gos in there.

Very auspicious. We get one of many montages in the film.

So many montages.

Which again, play to, I think, Amy Heckerling's strengths and kind of an MTV vibe a bit, early MTV vibe. But what so impresses me is how efficiently and effectively this film introduces us to this broad ensemble of very different characters and they all pop. They're all immediately register as distinct from each other and we can keep track of them. And we can also get a sense of the core relationships and dynamics that kind of drive the engine of these situations that intersect and overlap and we intercut to. In less capable hands, this film would be an incomprehensible mess. Yes, but the cohesiveness that both from the script that Cameron Crowe writes based on his book and that Amy executes, and Amy Heckerling executes as a director, I think is deceptively sophisticated. And that is something that just I didn't want to miss commenting on.

So look, the movie starts, we're at the mall. We meet Stacey and Linda. They're talking about boys. They're very boy crazy. The rat is taking tickets at the movie theater. He kind of wants to ask Jennifer Jason Lee out, but didn't have the guts to do it. Brad is working at the burger joint.

Yeah, the cool burger joint as opposed to the uncool one.

No, he gets demoted to the uncool one later, which is really bad. And actually, let's go to our first clip because this is interesting. So Spicoli, who's a surfer dude, walks in with Anthony Edwards and with Eric Stoltz. None of them are wearing shirts, which is, I'm sure, lovely for much of the audience.

Well, they are wearing shirts when they walk in.

Yes.

But then they make a point to remove them because that's just the kind of guys they are.

And in a great character setting moment for the character of Brad, he gives the following monologue.

Come on, Spicoli, just put the shirts back on. You see that sign?

No shirt, no shoes, no ties.

Right. Learn it, know it, live it.

You know, I love that clip and I asked producer Brad to put it on because I feel like it really sets up Brad's character. He's the older brother. He's kind of a dork. He takes care of everybody, really. And yet he has his own frustrations, which is interesting because he's dating Linda, who will not have sex with him. And he really wants to break up with Linda. But then he's also very dependent on Linda. It's a complicated relationship that lasts about three scenes, doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. And the efficiency of telegraphing information about these characters in little bursts and some of them that are really fun, I think is delightful. I also have to say that I was struck watching this film, even though this clip may not be the best example of that, just thinking, how is Judge Reinhold so cool in this movie? He's kind of inexplicably cool through a lot of the movie, at least in the intro and in terms of his bearing, his self-assuredness. He has this cool car. He's very confident. He's very just relaxed. He's just kind of socially well equipped and he also has the most embarrassing moment in the movie, but he still seems to get over it.

I do like how that character just sort of, like out of all the characters, he seems the least nervous one. He seems the one least bothered by his own teenagerhood.

Yeah. He's kind of already looking ahead and we do get some foreshadowing where he's talking about that he's been in this relationship for two years, but he kind of is thinking it's a senior year, he kind of needs his freedom. That's going to pay off later which is really, really special. But yeah, we get this whole mall montage and introduction of the characters. Then very quickly we get a high school montage.

Before that, I just want to say Jennifer Jason Lee does hit on a much older guy.

She's 15. Yeah, this is significant. I was trying to block this out.

Well, I think it's interesting that the movie is pretty frank about younger women, older guys, and older guys being in a predatory, but yeah.

She's also explicitly encouraged by Phoebe Cate's character, Linda, to hit on a 27-year-old man.

Yeah, because Linda is the more sophisticated high school junior or sophomore who has a boyfriend in Chicago who's much older.

Yeah, who may or may not exist. Yeah, that's a whole thing.

There's a whole sixth sense going on in that movie that we have no idea about, but that's the spinoff they never made. That's the subplot that wound up in the... They're like, should we do the supernatural thing with Linda? We don't know. Anyway, so then we have a school montage. We're nine minutes into the movie and we've had two big montages. We go to the high school locker montage. You see everybody's in locker. Kids have pictures of butts, of nude women's butts because there was no internet, so you couldn't get that on your phones. Literally when, I think it's Eric Stoltz or Anthony Edwards kisses the picture of those butts. I'm like, that's probably the only butts that guy ever really had access to on a regular basis. That's pretty, you get the sense of the pornographic poverty that we had back in the 80s. Isn't there a scene in this movie where somebody goes, Spicoli, I heard you've got the new Playboy.

Yes, in hushed tones. Actually, no, they were enthusiastic tones. But then we get, I just want to circle back to, I think just one of the great character introductions of all time, and really dynamics of the film. The central most potent dynamic in this film is Ray Walston and Sean Penn.

As Mr. Hand, yes.

And Ray Walston is a genius. I just think he's incredible. And I would-

Who owns this movie, doesn't he?

He does. And this could just be the whole movie. I kind of want to see an entire movie just about the two of them. And that's probably been cut, like all their scenes I'm sure probably exist in some edited version that's just that. But that to me was just, oh, what a delight.

Anyway, we have this locker montage. We meet another main character, not main, but supporting character in the movie, which is Charles, who's the football quarterback.

Oh, yes.

And he is played by none other than Forrest Whitaker.

Yes.

Who we've come to know as this gentle lumbering giant. But in this movie, he is a fierce, fierce high school senior football player. People don't even think he lives in town. They think he like literally just helicopters in for the football games. But he's really like already playing pro ball or some shit like that. Right. I mean, I don't understand that part of it at all, because that's about football. And I don't know.

I think it's worth mentioning at this point. Just how it probably goes without saying, but just how overwhelmingly white this movie is.

So white.

Just unapologetically.

Unapologetically, overwhelmingly white.

Almost exclusively white. Forrest Whitaker is great in what little he has to do. He makes a very strong impression. He's one of only, I believe, only two black characters because we meet his little brother later. But of course, the one black character has to be the big football star.

Yes.

There are almost no other people of color in the film.

For a film set in Southern California, there's a shocking lack of Latino and Asian people in this film, isn't there?

Well, we have Phoebe Cates. She is a quarter Chinese. Oh, really? And one of the things that I recall, and I think is worth mentioning here, is that in the time and the period of the Phoebe Cates Renaissance, of this to Gremlins and other things, where all of us were madly in love with Phoebe Cates.

More of a Renaissance than a Renaissance, because she kind of did these movies and then went away. She has not re-Nascenced.

Then later married the great Kevin Klein, has lived happily ever after, and I think can't be bothered with any of us, which I can't say I blame her.

I don't either.

But again, as we've commented, many brilliant talents of this period who happened to be women, yes, not afforded the opportunities to break out, to stardom that their male counterparts did, and this cast is a case study in that, in terms of who broke out and went on, and kind of what the ratios and proportions are.

But I mean, then you've got Jennifer Jason Lee, who has this magisterial career of incredible acting roles.

Yeah, continues to be just a titan and an incredible, talented force. And it's amazing seeing her here as sort of the ingenue role in this film. It's startling.

I know she's done like a fair bit of nudity in the rest of her career and all that, but she plays a 15-year-old and she is naked in part of this movie. And it's kind of shocking because she does look so damn young.

Yeah, it's shocking borderline disturbing, kind of feels wrong.

And I think it's intended to.

And the whole storyline is like, ah, this is really, this is really not something I think you'd see there. But the thing I wanted to mention is that in the time, in the period, Phoebe Cates passed for white in our cultural consciousness. And I don't know to what degree that was probably a choice. I'm guessing she was probably encouraged and to be marketed as a white actor. But later it's like, oh, no, she is. And I in the interest of like not wanting to erase her real identity, it's like, yeah, she's Asian-American. And the only other person of color to jump ahead is a Puerto Rican who delivers the pizza.

Well, that's right. Taylor Negron plays the pizza guy. Yes. Yes.

Yes. But I believe those are the only people of color in the film.

Well, let's go back to Mr. Hand. So Mr. Hand is introduced thusly. Producer Brad, could you please play clip number three?

Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand. I have but one question for you. Can you attend my class? It is for your own good. And if you can't make it, I can make you.

That's pretty much the character in a nutshell right there. He's just obsessed with truancy, isn't he?

He does seem to have a very particular fixation.

Yes.

Every single word that comes out of his mouth. He is milking with such specific perfection. I just I love this guy so much. He is an incredible, incredible president.

What I think is really interesting about the way this character is played as opposed to, like, say, the version of this character in a John Hughes movie, you know, is that he's not feckless. He's not weak. He's actually in charge of the class. And it's like the students try to get away with shit and he doesn't let him. because this is a movie about reality and not a movie about how kids are actually smarter than adults and wiser and get their own way all the time. Which I think, look, I'm one of the great haters of John Hughes. I think his movies are racist, cruel and frankly completely fake. And this movie is a really good tonic if you're not a fan of John Hughes, because you're getting adult characters who actually have the agency of adults in the lives of teenagers, you know? So I think that's an interesting thing. Also, I can't say enough about how little I like John Hughes' work. So Spicoli is late to the class and this is the beginning of our Mr. Hans Spicoli kind of war that goes on through this film. But interestingly enough, we get a little bit of a glimpse into Linda and Stacey's insecurities and their concerns. They're at their lockers and the following conversation takes place. Producer Brad, could you regale us with clip number four?

Linda. That girl looks just like Pat Benatar. I know. Wait, there are three girls here at Ridgemont who have cultivated the Pat Benatar look. Chanel Sembler, Mary Ann Slott making the red tight.

Do you think guys find that more attractive?

Oh, Stacey, please, give me a break. You are so much prettier than them.

Yeah, I know.

But you think they'd be better in bed. What do you mean better in bed? Either do it or you don't.

Okay, that's a conversation that two women have in this film. And I think it's sort of a test to their general boy craziness. But I don't remember. I guess I had women friends in school. Did girls talk this way to each other when we were not around, paul? I'm flummoxed.

I am I am disqualified by gender to speak to that with any authority.

We should have a woman come in who's our age.

Tell us if this is, you know, I think we very well should. I will also say this was a like like other films, a challenging film for me to watch as a parent of a current teenager in high school. Yes. So I'm still processing that. But the dynamic between both of these characters, I think is is really smart in terms of you have the not just the confident one and the one who lacks self-confidence and needs to find it. But the confident one is really a false confidence.

Yes.

It's this pretense of confidence that we then get to peek a little bit behind. We get little hints of. Yeah. The subtlety of that, as we get that, I just really appreciate it.

Such as there's a plot to this movie. It is obviously Spicoli and Mr. Hand coming to an agreement about the value of education, which is kind of an interesting way of playing it. And also kind of Stacey's coming of age, because ultimately she goes from having sex with a number of men in the movie who are not satisfying to finally kind of having the relationship she wants.

Yeah. And not to skip ahead to the big life lesson, but yeah, I mean, in terms of really defining what the priorities are. Exactly. There are these sort of presumed imposed priorities that the social peer pressure injects into the-

Like Linda's pressure to date the older guy, and she does go out with the older guy, and they have sex at the point, which I guess is where people go to have sex. I never knew about any such things in my high school career, because I was too busy writing plays and directing plays about things that had nothing to do with sex or women or any of that stuff. So I don't know. So she goes to the point and she has sex with the older guy, and it's not good for her, but it's sort of an accomplishment for her, I suppose. I don't know.

Yeah, it's like checking something off a box, a to-do list of milestones. But her memory of it is going to be largely that of the graffiti that she's seeing.

Yeah, they sort of fixate on this graffiti overhead as the guy's pumping on her. Yeah, it's kind of disturbing.

And there is a very blatant as they enter the dugout. This is also interesting. The point I was thinking was going to be this sort of promontory point, this sort of overlook, kind of a photo op, rest opportunity, kind of like a cliff, kind of overlooking something, like a point. But no, it's like it's a dugout in a baseball field.

Like a baseball field? I don't fucking know.

There is a very conspicuous Disco Sucks graffiti emblazoned on the dugout, which I was like, you know, hat tip to the art director there. There are two things I wanted to mention that just tickled me. And we mentioned even earlier before we started recording. At the end of the first scene in Mr. Hand's class, he passes out handouts. And in unison, the whole class raises them to their face and wistfully inhales and sniffs just the bucolic scent of mimeograph paper.

Right. Oh my God. It's not toner. It's mimeo. That's right. Oh my God. Like, yeah.

It's such a specific period kind of little beat and sense memory that I just delighted in. They're also we don't have this quote because I was remiss in not requesting it. But another character, a little background character observes or introduces a spikoli to us by declaring this guy's been stoned since the third grade, which I usually get a straight line and got to tell you like everything you need to know.

Sean Penn kills it a spikoli. It is such a fun character. And we've got a quote from him in a second that will explain.

But yeah, we'll have a lot to say about his character. We haven't really even gotten into him yet. Yeah, I'm going to jump around a little bit. But the next kind of milestone, it strikes me that we need a grand total of two faculty members at this school.

Yes.

On my count. We don't see anyone else in authority other than our history teacher, Mr. Hand.

Right.

And then our perfectly cast.

The great.

Creepy biology teacher, Vincent Chiavelli. Yes.

Again, he was in... What was he just in that we saw? Oh, he's in Night Shift. He's the evil sandwich delivery man in Night Shift.

Yes.

And here he is. The creepy biology teacher. Just just just the we can we can do a podcast on it called Vincent Chiavelli Overthruster. The man is the man.

Oh, my God. He's a glorious screen presence. Yes, he is. And has one of these great introductory lines where he's begging the class to go easy on him because he just switched to Sanca.

Sanca. Yes.

Which, dear listeners, many of you will have no idea what that is.

No idea what Sanca is. Yeah.

But this was a brand of instant decaf coffee, I believe.

Yeah. In the 70s and 80s, there was no such thing as decaf. There was either coffee or Sanca.

Right.

You know, this whole idea where you went to get like a blonde Pikes Peak roast with the, no, it was either coffee and coffee was just coffee and Sanca.

Yes.

That was it.

Yes.

Yeah. A quick search turns up as one of the earliest decaffeinated coffee is available.

There you go.

Yeah.

There you go.

It was a pioneering breakthrough of science. And this is, I think it's Mr. Vargas is his name.

Mr. Vargas.

Yes. This is his biggest life struggle. Yes. Is that he is weaning himself off of caffeine. And ultimately he will be unsuccessful due to the stresses of his job. And, but he has a, he has a full arc. Thanks to Sanca.

From trying to quit caffeinated coffee to not quitting.

And one of the best reveals. Yes.

Oh, we'll get to that later. We'll say it later, we'll say it later, yes. Mr. Vargas has a huge secret that nobody knows about. The thing I like about Mr. Vargas is again, like the other faculty members in this, like just like Mr. Hand, it's like, you don't get the sense that he exists only as a foil for these kids. You get the sense he's got a whole life that you're not seeing in this movie. And he's not that upset or he doesn't hate these kids. He doesn't like fight with them or anything. He's very happy with his job. And it's kind of interesting how he just sort of walks through the movie and he's not a foil, he's not a villain, he's just a guy doing his job. And it's kind of interesting that.

I'm very fascinated by it. And he shares kind of a cousin fixation to Mr. Hand. So Mr. Hand is very fixated on truancy. Yes. Mr. Vargas is fixated on dead bodies and death.

Yeah.

Yes.

And we'll have the visit to the morgue later, which leads one of the great lines in the movie.

Which is great. And so, and that is sort of set up and foreshadowed a little bit here that they're gonna be going on a field trip, I believe. And we get that paid off later.

Just so we get back a little bit on the plot of the movie. The general boy and girl craziness of the characters in this film is then explained. So the Pat Benatar scene that we saw, that we listened to.

Oh, yes.

Leads into Phoebe Cates teaching Jennifer Jason Lee how to give a blowjob using a carrot. And the other kids in the luncheon.

In the school cafeteria, by the way. With a sizable audience.

Yes, a scene that I remember being much discussed when I was in high school by other people, not me. Now, I want to say also, though, Damone is giving the rat, who has a, you know, the rat's your typical nerdy boy who works at the theater, giving him lessons on how to, you know, kind of be attractive to Jennifer Jason Lee's character. So, if we can go to clip number five, let's hear Damone's overall life strategy here.

This is what you do. Start from the minute you walk into biology, you ass. I mean, don't just walk in. And you don't talk to him. Use your face. Use your body. Use everything. That's what I do. I mean, I just send out this vibe, and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.

Wow. So, Damone. Also, we find out that Damone is a ticket scalper. Like, okay, paul, the most science-fictional thing in this movie, he literally sells the ticket to Ozzy Osbourne for like $20.

Van Halen.

For Van Halen.

Yeah, that's later, but yes.

That's in the Mo montage.

Yeah, in the opening montage, he's selling Van Halen tickets.

For less than $20, scalp Van Halen tickets for less than $20.

First 10 rows.

First 10 rows.

And of course, later, to my endless delight, Forrest Whitaker's character is seeking earth, wind and fire.

Yes, indeed, because he is black. And that is what black people do, right?

A black man of taste.

Yes, sure. I don't know. You know what? I don't know how much time Cameron Crowe spent with that community while researching this film, while he was undercover in high school. So I have no idea. But yeah, that was what he came out with. And that's what we're doing.

Certainly a choice. Yes.

Judge Reinhold washes his car. Big plot point. He's got a nice big blue Cadillac. He does. And that's a scene in this film.

Quick correction. It was a Buick LeSaber, not a Cadillac.

Buick LeSaber. That's right.

Oh, oh.

A Buick LeSaber. There you go. beautiful car.

A shade of blue that's magical.

Yeah. I don't know why he's washing it, but that's a scene in the movie that happens. And then Spicoli shows up to Mr. Hand's class and he's shirtless and has a bagel on his belt. Did you notice that?

Yes. So he seems to have still be in the process of having breakfast.

Right. Right.

And Spicoli seems to have a very fluid relationship with the space-time continuum. And yes, he does. He does not sort of respect or even recognize arbitrary, human-imposed social constructs. He does not. Of class periods.

Yeah.

Or, you know, set distinctions between when you have a meal or not, or of respecting other people's shared space.

And this is very much the bane of Mr. Hand's existence, because Mr. Hand is a rigid, structured man. In fact, at the beginning of the scene, I think he passes out the quiz and declares what everybody's grades are. They're all really bad. And I think this is when we see the line that really is the manifesto of Mr. Hand. Producer Brad, may we please have clip number six?

C, D. Three weeks, we've been talking about the Platt Amendment.

What are you people, on dope?

He is certain that everybody has this known. He's not wrong.

It's the only plausible explanation.

It is, right? That people would be so not good at understanding the Platt Amendment. Also, I want to say that Brad does watch his car, but he does have a major milestone at this point in the film, which is that he's fired from the Cool Burger joint for causing a grease fire.

Yes, he's fired for insulting a customer, I believe.

No, that's from the Uncool Burger joint. No, the grease fire, I think, gets him fired off of the Cool Burger joint, and then he goes to the Uncool Burger joint, where he is fired by the evil manager for the breakfast thing. It's an epic tale. I can see how we're getting our wires crossed because it's a lot.

Yeah, he has, at a certain point, his air of confidence. Yes, he is punctured by the forces of destiny. That he just has a little too much hubris. Yeah. For the contours of the universe that he finds himself in.

Yes, indeed.

And they push back on him.

Right.

And then also, after he gets fired, and I'm skipping something I'll come back to, he is established in confidence to his friendly co-worker underling, that as I've mentioned, he's been with his girl but he needs his freedom, he wants to whatever blah blah, but he hasn't been able to work up to find the right time to break it to her or whatever. But then at a high school assembly, which has a really nice moment where the cheerleaders are basically pleading for sympathy from the crowd.

The crowd is booing the cheerleaders and the one cheerleader is going, you don't understand how much courage it takes to get up here.

Did you recognize that actress?

No, who was it?

She was the younger sister in Night of the Comet.

Really? Wow, producer Brad, my mind is blown. What is the actor's name? That's not Mary Catherine Stewart, she was the older sister, who was the younger sister?

Her name is Kelly Maroney.

Okay.

But then in the stands, Brad with Lisa and Brad now having lost his job and clearly lost some social currency, yes, Lisa breaks up with him in verbatim terms. Yes. That he was preparing to break up with her.

Yes, we see a scene where Brad is in front of a mirror going, I'm a successful man, I'm a senior in high school, I feel like I need my freedom. And then they're at the assembly and she literally says, Brad, I'm a successful young woman. It's her senior year. I think it's actually quite funny because he's kind of going like, hey, I've been fired. I really need you in my life right now.

It's uncanny, almost as if we're watching a sort of X-Men film where she is a mutant psychic or something and has gotten the drop on him.

That is such a much more interesting reading of this film than I had. But yes, indeed.

I just go through life with alternative readings of everything. That's how I cope. But what's funny is that he has had this confidence up until this point, but his confidence is beginning to crumble by having lost his station of authority and now he's actually feeling like, oh, he wants to still be with her. And weirdly, too bad.

No, no, it's too bad. She's gone. She's going to have her freedom. Now, paul, at this point, we enter a very concentrated plot-driven part of the film, which I was shocked by.

There's another moment though that I think we've skipped in chronology.

Probably.

That is significant and is a work of art in and of itself. That stands alone as a unique art installation, which is Spicoli's dream.

Oh, no, no, we're not there yet. We're not there yet.

We're not there yet?

No, no, no. paul, I'm going to get you there. I'm going to get you there. You got to trust me, because I'm on the sleigh, man. I'm whipping the dogs and we're about to get to that plot point. Don't worry. I got you. I got your back.

I promise to you and all listening, I am not high on dope.

Are you on dope?

Okay.

So now Christmas comes and it's kind of, you know what this reminded me of? It reminded me of one of those Charlie Brown movies, where there's really no plot. It's just like, you know, something happens to Snoopy, Charlie Brown is sad and then Christmas happens.

Yes.

So Christmas happens.

And we see a mall Santa.

Yes, a mall Santa who gets peed on by a kid. Damone is still trying to give the rat confidence to ask Jennifer Jason Liao, which he does. Now Brad is now at the cheesy place and then he fights the breakfast client. There's a client who wants a refund for breakfast. Brad tells him he's gotta fill a form. The client is very recalcitrant. They have a profanity-laced argument. Brad gets fired. And then we get to Spicoli's dream. because like I said, this is a very plot-heavy part of the film. So obviously we have to kind of then have no plot for a little while. And this is a dream where Spicoli is a championship surfer. And he's being interviewed by Stu Mahan, formerly of ABC Sports. Producer Brad, can you regale us with a little bit of this? because he's literally at the beach with his trophy, three women in bikinis, and he's being interviewed by some network bigwig. And this is what he has to say to the world.

Let me ask you a question. When you get out there, do you ever fear for your life?

Well, still, I'll tell you, surfing is not a sport. It's a way of life, no hobby. It's a way of looking at that wave and saying, hey, bud, let's party.

Okay, so there we go. Now, before we continue, and that clip is obviously great, I just want to say we have missed one clip. So I just want to just have a Mr. Hand break right in the middle of our...

You can never have too much Mr. Hand.

Producer Brad, hit us with Mr. Hand.

Oh, Mr. Hand, what's the reason for your truancy?

I just couldn't make it on time.

You mean you couldn't or you wouldn't?

It was like a full crowd seeing at the food lines.

Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?

I don't know.

So that was the Mr. Hand break. Thank you for indulging me again. And this is just establishing, continuing the war between Mr. Hand and Spicoli for attendance and respect for each other's time.

I would argue, and this occurs to be literally in this moment. I swear.

Oh wow. Wow. You're having an epiphany.

I have made mention, this is going to be maybe the conclusion of a trilogy from other episodes. And I'm going to forget some of these examples where I feel like there are moments or some films we've seen that I feel could transcend the medium of cinema and exist in another art form. And to me, when I hear Ray Walston and Sean Penn with their very distinctive dialogue.

Cadences, they were saying.

And cadences and tones and deliveries and everything. It's a musical duet every time. It just soars.

It's like Sonata for Sean Penn and Ray Walston.

Yeah.

Double concerto.

Exactly. And I just, I feel like it is, it is something musical that enraptures me by hearing their inner play. And it's just magical. I just, the casting and the combination of these two with these roles is lightning in a bottle.

Well, I think also it's one of the, again, one of those weird, weird intersections of really old-timey actors and actors who are still active today. You know, like, and we see these in these 80s movies all the time. It really is a period where, like, a certain old school was on the way out and a certain new school is on the way in. And some of them are still with us. So it's like, but I think, paul, I want to get back on the rocket sleigh that is the plot of this film. I mean, it literally is careening towards such dramatic heights that I just, I just want to keep moving. I just want to, I just, Yes, yes. The movie is so damn propulsive. So the rat goes on a date with Stacey. The date doesn't go well. They go to this German, like, Italian house, Italian place.

I think it's an Italian restaurant with giant chairs, with these huge seat backs, these big leather chairs.

German, because he orders knockwurst.

He orders knockwurst.

Forgive me.

Yeah. The woman he orders from is kind of a real hell guy. I mean, she looks like a real sort of Oh yeah, you're right.

You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah. But what I want to say is the chairs. It's a really interesting bit of art direction because it is so archetypal of being on a date when you're 15, you're not fully grown, you're not a grownup, right? So the table between them is about two meters long, right? And the chairs look like the fucking iron throne from like King's Landing. I mean, the chairs are huge, they're dwarfed by them, and they're trying to have this awkward conversation across this expanse. It's actually kind of a really poignant moment in the film because they are so little. You get this, this is how young these people are, you know?

Yeah. And these are our two most innocent characters.

Yes.

Yes. Who are yearning for connection. Yes. But are also constricted by social constructs and peer pressure. Yes. To try to be something they are not. Yes. And then this also gives us a suspense scene.

Go on.

because Mark has forgotten his wallet. Yes. And this is a catastrophe looming.

Yes, it is.

Ready to unfold.

It's the only time in the movie where they have like comedy stings. You know, like they go, you know, when he can't find his wallet. And then he calls Damone to bring him the wallet. Damone is like drinking milk out of a carton and watching cartoons. And he says, yes, but ultimately he does it. Yeah.

And I just have to point out just the lack of really thinking this through, because, okay, he somehow left his wallet at home. He is remembered to play side one of Led Zeppelin 4.

Yes, Cashmere.

In the car on the way to the date, as DeMone had dutifully instructed him as being a secret weapon of dating.

Of sexiness, yeah.

Realizes he doesn't have the wallet. Covers very adroitly, excuses himself from the table, makes a phone call, apparently has changed because there's a payphone. So he calls DeMone, instead of just saying, hey, can you swing by and loan me some money?

Right.

Which would be way simpler and less of an imposition.

Yes.

He says, I left my wallet at home. Can you go to my house?

Can you borrow your mom's car? Yeah, I'm sorry.

Go to my house, get my wallet and then come here and bring me my wallet, which is adding a step. But then we later find out DeMone does not have money, so that probably wouldn't have worked. But then we have this the suspense scene because he then has to buy time and expand time.

Yes.

While he's waiting for DeMone to go on this mission.

So they order like a whole smorgasbord, don't they?

His solution is to just keep ordering food. So we cut that and we see the plate, the table overflowing more and more plates.

With a big comedic musical sting. It's the only movie or the movie really veers into broad comedy.

Yes. Which means his bill is just getting more and more enormous. But then finally, yeah, it's resolved. But as a suspense scene, comedic suspense, applaud the narrative engineering.

I certainly felt for the rat here. Then we have one of the most confounding scenes in the movie, which is that for some reason, which is never explained, Spicoli is in Charles, the football star's Camaro with Charles' little brother. We don't know how he got there. They're both smoking weed in the car.

There's a reference that they're on their way to a party.

Sort of, but we've never met this little brother. We know Charles had a nice car.

He's been referenced before, but it's not really explained how we're in this situation.

It's a documentary, man. It's like you're watching the documentary about the predators of the Serengeti, and suddenly there's a warthog. They never talked about warthogs before, but I guess that's one of the predators.

Now we have a stunt sequence.

Yes, and now suddenly there's a car, not chase.

No, not a chase. I mean, metaphorically, spiritually.

I guess they're chasing the dragon. I don't know. It's weird.

Yes, but Coley is kind of chasing his high.

Yes, exactly. Yes, it is full of subtext and metaphor.

But he sort of misjudges his skill set.

And winds up driving the car into a pile of cement bricks.

Yeah.

Yeah. Which leads to the following change. Producer Brad, can you please regale us with clip number nine?

My brother is going to kill us. He's going to kill us.

He's going to kill you and he's going to kill me. He's going to kill us. Hey, man, just be glad I had fast reflexes.

My brother is going to shit.

Make up your mind, dude. Is he going to shit or is he going to kill us? First he's going to shit, then he's going to kill us.

He don't even. Wow.

It paints a vivid picture.

It really does. And Spicoli does come up with a very, very... A great sort of way of mitigating the...

He does, because this poses a very interesting question to the audience, of how would you possibly get out of this circumstance, where there objectively seems to be no way out to fix this. Yes. Before we get to that payoff.

Well, before we do, yes, please go on.

We skipped the payoff of Mark and Stacey's date.

Oh yeah, that weird, weird scene that happens next to them.

Yeah, two things that are important. One is they get back to his car and his cassette deck has been stolen.

Yes.

Which is sad. And presumably so is-

Along with this tip of Led Zeppelin IV.

I can only presume. She then invites him in when he drops her off back at home.

Literally, unfigured everything, yes, he does.

Very much so. And it's very awkward. It's kind of charming and endearing in terms of their awkwardness.

She changes into a negligee of some sort of pain noir here.

A night robe or something.

Like a satiny mommy kind of robe, yeah.

Yeah. And then they're looking for something to do. She pulls out a photo album and it's very charming and sweet. And there's this tension in the air and they kiss and it's sweet. And then he gets cold feet.

Yes.

And vacates the process.

Quite rapidly, I might add. I mean, considering that she's literally offering. Quite rapidly. Yeah.

Yeah. And rudely, which yeah, I mean, you can only tell that this is painful for her.

It's a reduction. It's interesting. They're both into each other, but they just, they're both just so awkward.

Yeah. And there's a moment where, after he steps outside and he pauses and he turns back, like he's having second thoughts, but he sees her bedroom light turn off and it's like, nope.

He blew it.

You blew it. Yeah. Then it's like, this is going to have repercussions.

Look, teenage sex in 80s movies, if it doesn't end with Jason running you through with a machete, I don't know what it's about. because isn't that what sex is like? You have sex with somebody and then Jason kills you with this.

I was going to say if it doesn't end in that, then that's a win.

I suppose. I don't know. But like all I learned from 80s movies is fucking die. Like literally don't have sex because you'll be killed by someone in a mask.

Yes.

So again, the fact that these kids have premarital sex and don't die is shocking to me.

Well, I mean, they don't die in the confines of this film. Who knows what happens afterwards.

Later they're butchered by an axe murderer.

Okay.

I don't know.

I mean, there are countless unmade sequels that could have veered into genre territory.

All I'm saying is that what passed for sex positivity in the 1980s was literally, like you had sex with somebody and then some shamp in a mask killed you with an axe.

Yes.

But don't forget that's in the theater next door.

That's right. Friday the 13th is in the US.

Absolutely. And because of the time, probably the audio is bleeding into our theater. And so there's a little bit of a crossover. But we have kept our audience in suspense far too long.

Far too long about the Camaro.

For the revelation of Spicoli's unexpected genius.

Genius. He is actually like in a espionage twist worthy of George Smiley, my friend. What does he do?

A spasm of lucidity has occurred in his drug-addled brain.

And he defaces the Camaro with anti-football team graffiti and parks it in front of the school, creating a false flag situation where Charles, played by Forrest Whitaker, comes to think that the enemy school crashed his car, defaced it and dropped it as a challenge.

The evil Lincoln High, rival school. And we are also shown propaganda banners of assassinate Lincoln, kill Lincoln, which is still very portes.

And written over the car's windshield is Death to Ridgemont.

Yes.

Spicoli is a genius.

So Forest Whitaker sells the hell out of his fury, his righteous rage. And he is now going to lead his football team on a path of ruthless revenge.

Yeah, violent retribution on the gridiron, yeah.

It is glorious. So then we get a whole football sequence. It is gladiatorial. And you can see the fear in the eyes of the Lincoln High opposing team's football squad.

And again, this movie being an Altman-esque documentary, you never really see or hear from Charles again. It's kind of like this is the part of the movie where the documentary shows you like something happening over there with some other, I mean, maybe we see Charles a little bit, but I think that's pretty much the end of the story.

I think you're correct. I think that that is the end. And the football game ends in a stunning blowout, 42 to 0, I believe. Yes. And so Spicoli has also given the school maybe its greatest football victory in school history as far as we know.

Now we're now rapidly careening into a well of plotlessness that I call the pool part. So suddenly we're in the summer now, or in the late spring.

And Judge Reinhold's character, help me.

Brad, oh poor Brad. He's been reduced to working at like a Long John Silver's type fish-fresh restaurant.

Yes, yes.

He has been Captain Hook.

Captain Hook, yeah.

Captain Hook, yes. A stand-in for probably what they could not get clear.

Long John Silver's, yeah.

So he's been descending this ladder of fast food consumerism into hell.

Yes.

And he's now at the level that he has to wear a pirate outfit.

Oh, it's so humiliating.

Oh my God. It's just, and you can feel the pain in his eye. This glorious beacon of coolness that we were introduced to in the opening of the film has now been reduced to shame.

Our older brother character. This is really the nadir of his narrative, isn't it?

Yeah, it's heart-rending.

So this really is narratively the nadir of Brad's life because he's not only been reduced to working in this fish restaurant.

Yeah.

Are there any fast food joints, any fish based fast food joints? There really aren't because now it's a sort of like, I don't know.

The aforementioned Long John Silver's.

Yeah.

I mean, I think vaguely qualifies as seafood.

So basically, now it's spring, the kids are starting to use the swimming pool, which is going to lead to a huge plot development in this movie. But now we lead to probably the most famous scene in this film, which is that Brad has come home from the Long John Silver's, Damone and the rat and Stacey and Linda are using the family pool. He sort of walks over them, he's totally over it. So Brad is looking at Linda and he goes into the bathroom that happens to have a window to the swimming pool, and he starts to masturbate. This is the most famous iconic scene in this movie where Phoebe Cates steps out of the pool in a red bikini and she says to Brad, hey Brad, did I ever tell you how cute I think you are or some such thing? And she takes off her top.

Important to note, this is happening in his mind.

In his mind, yes. This is his fantasy while he's masturbating. He's actually now wearing a very nice suit in the fantasy. He embraces her.

He's fully dressed, she, her top is off.

The car is moving and stereo is playing. And then you cut back to reality, she gets out of the pool because she needs a Q-tip and she walks in on him jerking off. And it's interesting how big a deal it is, but also how not a big deal it is. He just goes like, doesn't anybody fucking knock anymore? And you'd never hear of it again. It's not like there's a big Mike is embarrassed by fetishizing Linda subplot in the movie. It just sort of happens.

Yeah, Brad's embarrassed, you said Mike.

Oh, Brad is embarrassed, yes. But I get the feeling that for men of my brothers, my two older brothers' generations, Phoebe Cates taking her top off to the cars is moving in stereo in slow motion is probably the moment that launched A Thousand Puberties, I'm gonna guess.

I think that is well-documented in the annals of the earth.

Yes.

I don't know how to feel about that moment, paul. I found it, I don't know, I understand it's his fantasy of her and all that. I don't know, I have no thoughts on this. Should I have an opinion about this or should we just let it go?

I don't know. I mean, it clearly is an iconic moment of the period. I don't know that there's more that needs to be said.

Okay, nevermind. So anyway, but here's what happens because this is the pool part of the movie. This is the part of the movie where it's spring, the pool is now open, so we're at the pool. Damone actually winds up going to visit Stacey at her house. I don't remember what the reason is he trumps up, and they both wind up allegedly to go to the swimming pool at the pool house. Now Damone has clearly no interest in Stacey, he just wants the rat to get together with Stacey, but he winds up in the same house with her, with the swimming pool, with the chance of changing into a swimsuit, which they do. Then they wind up, he winds up seducing her. Does he seduce her? I don't even know.

Yeah, kind of. Although she really comes on to him too. But it seems to be, I mean, it's directly in opposition to her perceived rejection by the rat or Mike or Mark, their names are mixed up.

By the rat. Mike Damone, Mark Ratkowski, yeah.

But she has misinterpreted his awkwardness as disinterest and rejection as opposed to being really extreme interest.

Yes.

That he just cannot, Right. Does not have the skill set to process and manage well. And so now she hits on Damone.

Yeah.

And invites him in and-

They fuck in the pool house.

Yeah. They have a quickie.

By the way, one of the most awkward sex scenes I've ever seen. He is shockingly, considering all of his swagger, he is shockingly incompetent. He ejaculates early.

Yes.

Yeah. And then he gets really, really-

It was initially more awkward because it was an X-rated scene.

Oh.

There was full male frontal nudity. And in a test screening, it disturbed the teens who watched it, so they removed that because it was too awkward.

Wow.

Oh my God.

The thing of the scene that's most disturbing though, and it's sort of the, I think, probably dramatically the most potent moment in the movie is that he gets really embarrassed. He gets dressed really quickly. He just leaves. And she's kind of left naked in the couch. And it's a long shot of Jennifer Jason Lee, fully nude, kind of with this look on her face, like, this is horrible. You know, what's happening to me right now. And it's sort of, it's really disturbing.

It is incredibly horrible. Yeah. That his actions in the scene are.

It's really just like, I gotta go. I gotta go. And he just leaves. Yeah.

It's reprehensible behavior. Yeah.

He puts those pink socks back on and he's out of there. Yeah. And worse yet, well, we don't know yet, but something's going to happen in between. But like, so then there's a little bit of a passage of time. And we witness. So Brad has this apotheotic moment of realization where he is forced to drive a bunch of fried fish to a second location because the IBM people have actually ordered fried fish.

IBM's got to have their fish.

You got to have their fried fish. And he's got to take it in his car. But then he's changing out of his pirate costume and his manager tells him to show a little pride because he's got to wear the pirate costume to deliver this stuff. Brad is upset by this. And then again, there's a moment that evokes American graffiti, which is very much so. because the famous moment in American graffiti is where Bob Falpha is, I think it's paul Lamatt's character. Bob Falpha is Harrison Ford. Is driving his convertible and the dream woman played by Suzanne Summers.

Suzanne Summers.

This is in The Thunderbird and they kind of look at each other and there's this moment of, it's not, isn't that dry fish? I think it's actually, I don't know, one of the graffiti kids and they have this moment of connection. I think Sven Strassland will be looking for this beautiful blonde in The Thunderbird. Brad in his Buick pulls up next to this gorgeous woman who's in a convertible. They eye-fuck each other all over the place.

Do you know who the woman is?

No, I don't. Who is it?

Nancy Wilson from Heart.

Oh my God. There you go. Who would go on to marry Cameron Crowe, right? Yeah.

Yeah.

But then he realizes, I'm in a fucking pirate costume and she's just laughing at me because I'm an idiot. At that point, he speeds away, throws the pirate costume and the fried fish out of the back of the car very responsibly, I might add. This is his moment of-

Littering is wrong. Yes.

Littering is wrong. By the way, show some pride in the pirate costume. Anyway, he has been at his native. He's been reduced to working at Captain Hook. He has been caught masturbating by his dream girl and now he finds freedom finally, I think. Something like that?

Yeah. He lost his girlfriend. Everything has been ripped away. All he has is his car. I mean, thank goodness, fate didn't befall his car like it did Forrest Whitaker's Chimera.

Then it becomes an after-school special because it turns out that the moan knocked up Stacey and Stacey calls him and says she's pregnant and he's an asshole about it. Stacey has to negotiate with him to get $75 so he can pay for half of the abortion and a ride. Then we got to the moan trying to call in all of his markers and debts because he's a bookie. He's a scalper. Nobody has money for him. He stands her up on the day of the abortion. Doesn't come get her, doesn't have the money. Who saves the day? Who saves the day?

The big brother.

The big brother.

Brad.

Brad winds up driving Stacey to the abortion and not asking a lot of questions and being really cool about it and giving her the money. And that's what happens, right?

This is as awful as the stuff that precedes it is. This is really beautifully done.

Yes.

She calls DeMone's house, gets DeMone's mom on the phone.

Yes.

Who tells her that he's working in the garage with his dad and is going to call her later. She could ruin his life right now.

Yep.

By telling her mom what's going on.

What he's done, yeah. But she doesn't.

But she doesn't and probably it's because of shame, at least as much as goodness. She then hears Brad pulling out of the driveway and she calls after him to stop because she doesn't have, but she's out of options. Yes. And asks for a ride, but she asks, she lies to him.

This is the bowling alley.

And so she has him drop her off at the bowling alley across the street from the clinic. And she then just plays it off, like nothing is wrong and she goes in. And then as he drives away, he sees in the rear view mirror her crossing the street to go to the clinic. Yep.

The worst of it is none of it. It just happens and then she's done with it.

And we don't see anything like that, but we see the aftermath and she's like, well, we can't let you go with a ride. And she's like, oh, you know, and of course, it's like how awful for her to be in the situation and to be in it alone without the bare minimum of support and decency. Then she just says, oh, yeah, no, my boyfriend's picking me up. Whatever. She exits the clinic and they're standing next to his beautiful car.

beautiful car. It's Brad.

Is Brad the big brother? Yep. With no judgment and nothing but love and compassion and unconditional support for his sister.

And he says, are you going to tell me who did it? And she says no. And he goes, all right, I'm not going to ask.

Yeah. He says, that can be your secret. And it is the most beautiful expression of love in this film.

It is. It is. And I said it turns into an after school special, but it is actually quite touching that they, you know, I mean, look, Brad and Stacey have a relationship in the movie. It's very casual because he's the older brother. He kind of ignores her, walks, you know, whatever. And yeah, I thought this was actually quite sweetly done, considering that it's a weird narrative turn for a movie that has been so sort of light up until now, you know? But I guess this is part of what Cameron Crowe witnessed as a high schooler. Again, I don't remember anyone in my peer group getting knocked up in high school, but I was in a very nerdy, rarefied group of people, so who knows? Producer Brad, did anybody in our peer group get knocked up while we were in high school?

I had to take a summer school class because my junior high didn't have civics. And there were several pregnant girls in that class.

Is that right?

So I think many of them did not go to school during the school year and instead went to summer school.

Got it.

You know what? I was so oblivious to that part of the universe because I was just really in the basement of a used bookstore reading Star Trek paperbacks. So there you go. That's again.

Definitely something at my school too. I mean, in a border community. And yeah, a couple of things that strike me here about this. This film is full of a lot of bad lessons, a lot of bad advice and modeling a lot of not healthy behavior.

In the interest of being realistic though, I mean.

Yes. Yes. But that it has the care and the heart and the thoughtfulness to then do this, I think is really admirable. The other thing that strikes me watching this whole sequence. This is a scene that cannot happen in our present day reality in many states in this country.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. The fact that she walks across the street and there isn't a picket line in front of the thing. She's been being hassled by protesters that, you know.

That there's a clinic at all. Yes. Cannot happen in Texas where I'm living right now in the entire state.

Right.

It is illegal to get an abortion.

Yep.

And just looking at it through that lens of our present day reality is so jarring.

Yeah.

because it is not commented on. It is a fact of life. It is casually presented. And there's no controversy. There's no protests or anything. It is just matter of fact.

No one has to accompany her in order to escort her into it. To the gauntlet of rabid evangelical Christians. Yeah.

There's no drama. And she is not put through any extraneous drama other than the relationship trauma that's been subjected to by this shitty guy. And 40 years later, more than 40 years later, we have, it's just...

It's terrifying. And I think one of the things that I think we do a lot of in this podcast is we look back at this time as being not more, you know, sort of there's so much sexism and misogyny and homophobia in these films and all that.

There is awful homophobia in this film that we haven't even mentioned. Yeah. But is there? I don't know. There are a couple. Oh, yeah. No, I know.

Like Spicoli uses slurs and stuff like that. Yeah. But you know what? Honestly, like, yeah, a lot of that just sort of struck me as the way that.

Yeah, it's casual homophobia, but it's still pretty awful. It still stings.

The fact that Disco Sucks is so featured in the movie, it speaks immediately to sort of the homophobic appeared. But it's interesting. And yeah, I mean, I think that sometimes you look at these movies and you see, like, places where we're really moving backwards as a society. And this is one of them. I'm glad you pointed it out in Revenge for knocking up Stacey. Linda proceeds to graffiti Damone's car and locker with the words Little Prick, which Damone then has to cover with sort of craft paper.

I just have to compliment Phoebe Cate's performance as Linda here and her righteous rage at what has been done to her best friend. Yes. And how she, without hesitation, yes defaces the car. Embarks on, commits crimes to exact revenge, scarlet letter revenge on the guy.

Yes.

On Damone. And she basically gives Damone a scarlet letter.

That's right.

And it is glorious.

The Linda and Stacy relationship is interesting because so much of their conversation is pretty shallow. It's about boys and relationships and all of that. But you get the sense, especially in the sequence, that friendships in high school, they go away, they fade, they stay, they don't, whatever. I mean, thankfully, producer Brad and I have remained friends for the majority of our lives. But I think that's not always the case. And I feel like Linda becomes the kind of friend that has your back, which is sort of not what you think of her because she plays so hard at being the sophisticated. I think it's really cool the way that the character handles this and the way that even though she is defacing his car and all that, it's like you like her roaring rampage of vengeance. It's good.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, you go. Oh, I mean, they are clearly ride or die. Yeah. This is true friendship and devotion. And then the contrast.

Uh-huh. Go ahead.

As then Mark confronts Mike, the rat confronts Damone in a locker room setting for having done what he did.

Yes. Damone is an asshole. He throws it back. He's like, hey, Stacey wanted it. You know, she is. I mean, he's such a slimeball.

He is an irredeemably shitty asshole. Yeah.

He really is.

because you get the sense that for all of his swagger and all that, he just doesn't see women as, first of all, he's incredibly awkward around them when we do finally see him with a woman. He has all of this swagger and shit, but he's really just a scared kid. And he acts out of fear and the fear leads him to act really atrociously.

Right. He just fundamentally does not respect women as people.

Exactly. Yeah. And it's entirely out of him being afraid of actually walking the walk that he pretends to walk.

So there's the start of a fight that then the coach breaks up, and then that's that.

The coach being the third faculty member.

Yes, that's true.

Good point.

And another black character, who, by the way, again, like all the faculty characters in this film, literally steps in and says, hey, not in my locker room, break it up. And he doesn't have a heart to heart with anybody. He isn't revealed as being this or that. He just literally comes in, does his job, walks away to get on with the rest of his life, because this is not a John Hughes movie. This character is not here to be a foil. He's here to be a faculty member.

Right. And consistently, as the other teachers portrayed with purely exhibiting competence and control of the situation. Yeah.

And a certain detachment, but it's a healthy detachment. It's not that kind of, it's not Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller, who literally becomes so obsessed with Ferris Bueller that you want to get the guy committed.

Then I believe we get our field trip.

Yes. And this is a centerpiece of this film because it leads to the one exclamation that is, I think, most iconic for this film ever.

If the film can be summed up in one word.

In one word.

And it's coming in this next sequence.

It is because this is the scene where Mr. Vargas, who is only creepy enough to not be a caricature, takes everybody to a field trip to the morgue.

He's sort of charmingly creepy. Yeah.

I mean, he's not. But again, he doesn't lay it on so thick that he's a caricature the way I mean, in a John Hughes movie, this guy is played by, you know, Ben Stein or some other character actor. And he's and you get the sense that he's just utterly creepy and that perhaps he's necrophiliac. Mr. Vargas just is a biology teacher who really enjoys his job. And two things happen in this. They're dissecting the bodies and Stacey gets sick. And who's there to comfort her in her sickness? Ladies and gentlemen, the rat Mark. He shows up, he goes with her in a broom closet. He comforts her, tells her it's okay. They can hide in the broom closet to the class least. And they'll just join the class. He's really sweet, very tender, very caring. And you finally see what these two can have together as a relationship, which is nice.

It's very sweet. It's really nice.

But also paul, as Mr. Vargas is holding up.

And it's worth mentioning, Spicoli is not just in this scene. He has apparently infiltrated the field trip.

Yes. He's not taking this class.

He is not taking this class. He has just heard that this field trip is happening and going to a hospital. Yeah. They're going to go to the morgue. And so he just has finagled his way onto the bus. He is asked by Mr. Vargas, like, are you in my class? And he says, I am today.

Yep. And again, it's that wonderful fluidity of the life of Spicoli. I think Spicoli, like, I think he's going to be an aid to Senator Blutarsky from Animal House.

Chief of Staff.

As you know, like, John Belushi's character from Animal House becomes a senator. I think Spicoli is going to be his chief of staff. And I think Spicoli is ultimately going to be like a vice president who probably gets to be president to assassination. You know, like somebody puts it, you know, I don't think he'd be elected vice president, but I think he like probably gets ascended to it like the like Belushi quits or gets popped or something like that.

But anyway, that's that's maybe he's like secretary of agriculture and he's the designated survivor.

Yeah.

And then some like massive Tom Clancy thing happens and he becomes president. During a State of the Union.

That or he just becomes the California legislator who legalizes marijuana.

There you go.

You know, so Mr. Vargas is holding up human organs from this cadaver. And then we get the iconic, the most well-known line in this film.

As he, Mr. Vargas, extracts the still glistening heart from the chest cavity of this corpse. Yes.

And producer Brad, give it to us.

Now here, an incision has been made. The ribs have been sawed off, allowing us to remove the breastplate and really observe the human organs as they exist in their natural state. Here, we have the human lungs. And here is the human heart, which you can see is actually located in the center of your chest.

Oh, gnarly.

Oh, gnarly. Wow. Now that expression had the moon unit Zappa song Valley Girl been released at this point, or did we get gnarly just from this movie? I mean, I know it's a surfer thing, so I can't. Was this the first time that you heard gnarly?

I don't know that we can.

The song was also 82.

Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. I think this certainly contributed to its popularization. Yes. Yes. And again, I just like Ray Walston, but in a very different way, Vincent Ciavelli just, his dialogue sings. No one else could deliver that the way he did with just this this lilt of delight.

A little of a sing-songy, delighted, just joy.

At the most gory. It's so great. It's just really wonderful.

It's funny because there's an actor in The Road Warrior, his name is Bruce Spence, and he plays the Gyrojet pilot, right?

Yes.

And then later he shows up in all of the Mad Max movies, some version of the Gyro pilot, except for Fury Road. And then he's in Ghost as, no, no, I'm sorry. And then he's in The Matrix as the train man. He's the evil guy who runs the train.

Oh, right.

And I feel like Bruce Spence and Vincent Schiavelli, like I want to see the My Dinner with Andre of those two guys, you know? Schiavelli as the evil ghost from Ghost, the train man, the Gyro pilot. Schiavelli as the kind of like, you know, evil organ grinder from Batman Returns. You know, like imagine those two guys having a My Dinner with Andre. I'd pay money to see that movie. That's just me.

Sign me up. I am so there.

So we're rapidly careening to the end point of this film in which...

And the end of the school year. So we're now getting finals. We get a montage of people cheating.

The cheating is phenomenal. The girls have written stuff on their thighs so they can lift their skirt and look at the... There's one guy who's put the entire quiz on his Wayfarers, Ray-Ban Wayfarers, which were the best classes ever. And we can pop into the 80s again. The entire transition between spring and finals is handled through cheating and it's kind of glorious.

Time is very abstract in this film in terms of its passage.

Like I said, it actually is kind of like one of those Charlie Brown movies, like stuff just sort of happens and then spring happens and then the seasons pass. It's, I don't know. It reminds me of a good man Charlie Brown in that way and in no other way because a good man Charlie Brown had significantly more nudity than this film. No, wait, wait, I'm sorry. I think. Anyway.

I do now wonder if on YouTube there is a Charlie Brown but dubbed with Fast Times dialogue.

A hard R, Charlie Brown, dare we say.

I think that would work very well. I may be skipping something, but then we find Spicoli very high making a phone call to Eric Stoltz.

Which was the opening of our podcast.

Yes. And then Spicoli's kid brother interrupts to announce that he has company.

Yes.

Who could it be? Who could be visiting Spicoli in his home?

Yes. And it is revealed as none other than Mr. Han himself. This is a great scene in the movie. Mr. Han comes in and basically declares this.

Into Spicoli's bedroom.

And he sits down and he's wearing a suit. And he tells Spicoli that he believes that Spicoli has wasted eight hours of his time.

Yeah, very specific.

In the course of the school year. So at the night of the dance, when Spicoli is getting stoned and getting ready to go to the dance, Mr. Han shows up with the textbook. He just happens to have a copy of the textbook. And they're going to talk about the American Revolution.

He wants his eight hours back.

Yes, he does.

And that's Spicoli took from him.

This is the only moment in the movie where it really kind of between this and the restaurant, you know, the sort of with the musical stings with the giant plate of food and all that. This is another moment where the movie really does veer into more John Hughes s sort of surrealist comedy. But it's played so down to earth. And also the thing I like about this is that Spicoli is kind of good natured about it.

You know, he is remarkably hospitable.

Yes.

And accommodating because this is objectively weird. This is objectively just like just very, very strange.

It is a moment where that can again, the movie goes into more John Hughes territory, but it plays it so differently than John Hughes might have that it is kind of delightful.

Yeah. Yeah. And just the denouement that this scene provides for the arc of their combative relationship, where every exchange, every scene we've seen with them has been this duel of antagonists. Yes. And it evolves into this fountain of beauty.

Usually, paul, as we've been doing this podcast, I have to say that, you know, your gift for superlatives is unmatched. And sometimes I'm like, well, you might be laying it out a bit thick there, but I gotta tell you.

Me, never.

Never. But this is kind of a beautiful moment in the movie. And actually, before we get to the conclusion of it, which we do have a clip for.

We do then, the dance starts. Yes.

Damone, presumably after at least a month of estrangement from the rat, actually apologizes for his conduct. And I thought this was kind of a touching moment. Damone has been awful, but you do get the sense that for all of his swagger, like, and I don't know, he does not, they never show him having a rapprochement with Jennifer, with Stacey, which is who he really is. Oh no.

Yes.

But it is kind of a nice moment of apology. And I think one of the things that even though Damone is such an asshole in the movie, I really did like this moment because I think that a lot of movies don't model teenagers mending relationships with each other, you know?

And men putting their pride aside and apologizing, which should not be hard. It should not be a hard thing to do. But a lot of male ego is modeled as don't apologize, where it's like, it really is a good and important thing to do and to learn how to do and do right and do well. In and of itself, I agree. I think this is a really nice scene. I think it's a good apology. I have a problem.

Well, he's still an asshole and he still fucked over Stacey and he does not deserve our sympathy.

Exactly. I have a problem with the rat accepting the apology. As readily as he does. I think that it is probably rooted in his isolation and the fact that he doesn't have other friends, which is a whole other problem because Damone is objectively a shithead. Yes. He has not demonstrated any redeeming value in the entire film.

Well, he did get his wallet. He did bring the wallet. I mean, he did have his back.

Okay, he did that.

Look, I'm not doing an apology for Damone. I think Damone is a shithead. I'm right there with you.

But I feel like that was also a puppet string moment. That was like so that he owes him and that he owed him a favor. I felt transactional to me. He's a bad dude and I don't think he's worthy of the rat's friendship. I don't think that he has made sufficient amends, again, that are demanded outside the small circle of just him and the rat, but extend to Stacey. So, I went at the rat, basically I worry that him so readily accepting this apology is…

Letting him off the hook too easily?

Is letting him off the hook too easily and enabling his bad behavior.

I get that. I get that. Look, like I said, I will not proffer an apologia for D'amone or his behavior. I think that what the movie does really well is contrast his swagger and his ass holiness with the truth that he is really just a scared kid. And that doesn't mean, that doesn't excuse what he did to Stacey. It doesn't excuse the way that he behaves for most of the movie. But I think that the movie does, he's an interesting character because so much of what he is is hiding this core of fear and damage. We don't know what it is exactly. We do get the sense that he's slightly lower income than the other kids. He lives in sort of an apartment building and all of that. So you don't get a lot of glimpses into his life, but you do get the sense that he's a lot more on the run and a lot less. I don't think the world is going to be nice to DeMone in the future. I think that's kind of what the movie is setting up.

Yeah. No, I completely agree. I think that at this point, it has become clear that all of his swagger is a cover for desperation.

Absolutely.

That's sort of his core.

In a way, I think that is DeMone's retribution. I mean, ultimately is that he's not going to apologize to Stacey because he's not and we don't see it and whatever. But I do get the sense at this point in the movie that DeMone's retribution is going to be that he's going to be this guy in a world of adults who don't buy his shit.

I would like to think and believe that this apology is a turning point and a beginning of him to be better. Right. But I'm not holding back.

You're dubious.

I get it. I'm dubious and I kind of feel like The Rat would be better off with better friends.

Ultimately, The Rat goes back to the pizza place where Stacey works, asks her out, and they wind up having a very passionate relationship, as we're told later in the film, so we're going to have their happy ending.

Yeah. He's going to be okay.

But not before we see the glorious final hour of Mr. Hand and Spicoli's impromptu tutoring session, which producer Brad, will you please regale us with clip number 11.

Well, what Jefferson was saying was hey, you know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too. Yeah?

Very close, Jeff. Well, I think I've made my point with you tonight, huh?

Mr. Hand, do you have a guy like me in class every year? You know, a guy who you make an example of.

You'll find out next year.

No way.

As soon as I cruise history, I might come near your side of the building.

Cruise history?

As soon as I pass your class.

If you pass.

paul, you're gonna flunk me?

Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll probably squeak by.

Yeah.

Aloha, Mr. Hand.

Aloha, Spicoli.

I mean, it's a purely artificial moment. I don't think it's something that would happen in real life on like a lot of this movie, but it's really great, isn't it?

This is my favorite love story in the film. It is.

It absolutely is. Well played, paul Alvarado-Dykstra, if that is your name. Well played.

It's so beautiful. It's just so fucking beautiful. There is genuine affection.

Yes, there is.

That these two men across generations and station have for each other. That is just the precise calibration of how they express that in this scene is maybe the most brilliant thing the film does.

And it's not twee. It's not particularly sentimental. It's played very casually. Again, it's a situation that I don't believe would happen in real life, but the movie does a really good job of playing it just real enough that it doesn't come across as a... Like, I keep going back to the German restaurant because the way the music stings in that really kind of puts you in John Hughes' kind of comedy territory. And I think, like, again, this part of the story is played so sort of like offhand and it's very, like, kind of tossed away, but it's genuine. I love it. And look, paul, I think at this point, I can say that it's like, let's say that you're somebody who doesn't like Star Trek, you know, and somebody says, dude, you got to watch, I don't know, watch The Wrath of Khan. It's a pretty good movie. And you go in and you're like, oh, this movie is kind of cheesy and melodramatic and the score is bombastic and, you know, the effects and Montalban's chest and whatever. And then by the end you're going, I don't know if I'm going to watch a Star Trek movie again, but this was pretty good. And I feel like this was the moment in Fast Times at Ridgemont High when I stopped feeling like I'm an alien watching a movie about aliens. This is the moment where I felt like, okay, okay, I got it. I'm here.

I'm in.

Good for you. Well done.

That makes me happy.

Yeah. I don't necessarily relate to this film particularly like I get it. And it convinced me that the movie, and these last moments in the movie really sort of are the ones that made me feel the journey was worth it, that it was sort of a shambling kind of Robert Altman as tableau with very soft plotting. But at the same time, I was like, you know what? Okay, I'm in. I'm good.

Yeah, but for all of its kind of loosey rambling, meandering, whatever, this is a movie that knows how to deliver payoffs.

Yes, it does. Yes, it does. And the stories are all small. Yeah, they all come to like, you've got the false flag operation of the Camaro. You've got Mr. Hand shows up at Spicoli's house. You've got well, let's listen to clip number 12, because I think this is where Stacey is at.

What? Is this the big life lesson at the end from Stacey?

I think so.

We're not there yet. Hold on a minute. Just hold on a minute. Go ahead. We have to mention that then Spicoli is now free to make it to the dance.

The big revelation about Mr. Vargas. Mr. Vargas.

Yes. Yes. Go ahead. He makes it to the dance with his buds in the smoke-filled iconic BW bus that we have not mentioned yet. Another scene where Phoebe Cates gets to really act, and where she's confiding to Stacey.

Oh, that's right, that her boyfriend in Chicago is leaving her, yeah.

And really is showing for all of her cool exterior, that she's just like so super cool and together and unaffected by anything and is this kind of know-it-all. She is kind of brought to her knees in despair and heartbreak in a way that we have not really seen any other character, including Stacey, in the film.

It's interesting because you never see the guy from Chicago, she just talks about him and the scene is about the breakup and she's reading the letter that she wrote to him, which Stacey marks as being very mature. And then Phoebe Cade says something to the victim, well, I wrote another draft where I call him an asshole. It's interesting because that character has a relationship with Stacey and with an invisible character. But the end of the relationship with the invisible character is quite touching because it's also like a nice moment with her relationship with Stacey too.

Yeah, that there's that level of vulnerability between the two of them makes that very touching.

Now I'm like the football kid who watches Star Trek 2 and is tearing up when Spock dies, you know, like, oh, Spock died, I didn't even give a shit about Star Trek, but Spock dying, hell of a thing, you know? Yeah, no, again, I'm in now. I'm in. I'm a believer now, paul.

It's good stuff. There's good stuff here.

Yeah, like I said, I can't impugn this movie. It's just not a movie about me or people that I understand or that I'm particularly interested in. But nevertheless, it's touching. I think the movie gets the job done, you know?

Yeah. And then we get to our delight.

What delight?

And it's one of these things that could easily be cut. Like that's not essential, but it's just this little treat where at the dance, we see Mr. Vargas and we meet Mrs. Vargas.

And Mrs. Vargas is, wow. Like, I mean, literally, it's like you've got this nerdy professor who's like biggest problem is he's on Senka and he's trying to get off the caffeinated coffee. And then, and then you meet his wife and she is a knockout. She looks like Ursula Andress. She's gorgeous.

She is a smoke show. Yeah.

And Spicoli is like a ghast, which is hilarious. Everybody is just a ghast. And you kind of see like, and Mr. Vargas doesn't even seem to notice that the kids are like insane because his wife is so pretty.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's just, it's a delightful thing. Then, you know, Do you guys know who played her?

Please tell us, Producer Brad.

Lana Clarkson. And unfortunately, she's famous for being killed by Phil Spector.

She was killed by Phil Spector.

Oh, God. Wow.

Wow. Damn. Okay. That's horrible.

I wish I didn't know that.

Yeah. You know what? That was a horrible, tragic thing. And gladly we got to see this moment and it's a great moment of joy in this movie. So you know what? At least she delivered us that. But I would also say that the movie is now at a moment of joy because we see not only Mr. Vargas' resplendent wife, but also Spicoli gets up in the bandstand and sings Wooly Wooly.

Without permission. He's being called down, but it's like he's got to be... Yeah.

But again, unlike Ferris Bueller...

He's on his own journey.

Yeah. Unlike Ferris Bueller, who commandeers a parade float in his big surreal thing, this is pretty scrappy. He just sort of gets up there and he kind of knows the band and they let him sing and it's...

He's joining in with them. He's not trying to steal, take it away from them. Yes. And now let's just... Then we're back at the mall.

It's almost the end of the movie. We're reading to the end of the film.

We're kind of back where we started, at the mall pizza place with Stacey and Linda. And we get their kind of wrap-up conversation and we get the big life lesson of the film that closes the arc of Stacey's journey.

Producer Brad, give it to us.

Linda, I finally figured it out.

I don't want sex.

Anyone can have sex.

Yeah, Stacey, what do you want? I want a relationship.

I want romance.

You want romance in Ridgemont? We can't even get cable TV here, Stacey. You want romance.

That line is so much the story of any teenager in 1982 because we didn't all have cable TV. It wasn't everywhere and when you did get it, it was like a huge event.

Of course, now everyone's cutting cable.

Yeah. But just the scarcity of media as a metaphor for a relationship, the possibility of a meaningful relationship at Ridgemont is just delightful and I love that that's where Stacey gets. Of course, that's when the rat shows up and asks for her number again.

Well, she is encouraged to beckon the rat over from his station at the theater across the way as a ticket taker and then she gives him her photo to help him get through the summer and gives him a kiss.

That's right.

And it's just very, very sweet.

And you get the sense that these two could have a romance.

Yeah. And that could be the end of the movie.

But it's not because Brad...

But it's not because we have not completed Brad's journey.

Remember, Brad freed himself from the shackles of Captain Hook. I mean, he literally threw the hat out of his moving car along with the fried fish for IBM.

Exactly. So he is just continuing his descent down the express elevator to hell. He is he is now exhausted the fast food chain.

Unemployable in fast food.

Unemployable. He's been banished from that entire industry. And so he now is working the night shift at a convenience store, at a Mighty Mart, I believe.

There we say, yes.

And he gets a scene with Spicoli.

Yeah.

Who shows up.

Spicoli like buys some food and he says, Spicoli, you need to get a job. And Spicoli doesn't want a job. He's just like trying to pay for change.

There's a great exchange where he's like, why don't you get a job? And he's like, what for? It's like money. You need money. Like he doesn't even understand the basic. cause he's, Spicoli is trying to get some snacks. He's counting out some change.

Yeah, he's got like a lint in his pocket and stuff like that.

Yeah. And it's funny. But anyway, it's just, Spicoli's mind is in other other realms.

Yes.

But then he has to go to the restroom. And then as he departs the frame.

Yes.

A another person who we've never seen before frantically enters the convenience store brandishing a gun.

He actually spray paints the security camera. And then he comes in and he's brandishing and he's asking and he's asking for the money and the cash register, then the safe. Judge Reinhold has only been at this job. Brad has only been at this job for like a week. He doesn't know how to open the safe.

Yeah.

The guy's going to go crazy.

Yeah. And he's trying to play it cool. He's trying to kind of manage the situation like, you know, but this guy's frantic. Maybe he's he might be high on something. I'm hoping that he is not coded as a person of color. I don't think he is.

I think he's a little bit. Actually, he might be a little it might be dark.

Be Latino or something.

You know, Middle Eastern, some version of that.

I'm trying not to be too troubled by that.

It wouldn't be shocking.

It's kind of a gray area. But I need to let you have the...

Well, Brad is struggling to open the safe and he thinks he's going to get shot. And then suddenly Spicoli comes out of the bathroom and he's like, you know, and then like Brad heroically takes the moment to basically throw coffee at the guy's head.

Hot coffee.

Hot coffee. Get the gun. And, you know, he foils a robbery. And Brad is apotheotically a hero at the end of this film, even though he's locked in a life of service of meaningless service jobs. And then the movie goes to its conclusion, which is that it shows you kind of like, much like American Graffiti, it tells you what happened to everybody. Again, a sort of hallmark of this kind of slice of life movie is, you know, at the end it's like, you know, Brad a mere month later is ascended to assistant manager of The Mighty Mart because of his bravery. So he's doing well. Stacey and it was revealed that Stacey and the Radar are having a passionate romance and they have not had sex yet. Mr. Hans still thinks everyone's on drugs, right? Did they wrap up anybody else's story? I don't think they said what happened to them.

Pretty much everyone. I don't remember them offhand.

I just get the sense that everybody's life continued to be banal and meaningless. But the difference between this and American Graffiti is that in American Graffiti it's like, you know, it leads all the way to like, you know, the one guy who got killed in Vietnam, you know, and all that stuff. And it's like very heavy. And this is pretty much like, yeah, he kept being the same and so did his and so did hers. And he's fine. because in the movie is a slice of life. It's not a movie that's about the great beginnings of great people. It's just about these nice humanoids who really wanted sex and satisfaction, something in life, you know?

Yeah.

So, producer Brad, well, how did this movie do with the box office?

It opened number seven for The Weeknd.

Damn.

Wow.

Well, it had made 2.5 million. Friday the 13th, part three, 3D, was number one at 9.5.

Wow.

That was followed by ET and Officer and a Gentleman, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, the re-release of Star Wars and Things Are Tough all over.

Wow.

For the year.

For the year, this was the number 30 film at the box office. All time, it was number 3,162. It made 27 million and it's in the same range as Tron and Serpico.

I'm looking at the summer movie ranking, so it's interesting because ET., Rocky III, Star Trek II, Poltergeist, Best Little House, Firefox, Conan, Sword of the Sorcerer, Tron and Blade Runner, all of the movies we've covered up until now. They opened earlier than Fast Times. All did better than Fast Times. Fast Times was the number 30 movie. And then you've got Night Shift, The Thing, The Road Warrior, Grease II and Megaforce under Fast Times. But it seems to be that out of all of these movies, like Fast Times really did have a lasting cultural. I mean, look, I think honestly, as I've said several times, this is the urtext for Wayne's World and Bill and Ted. I don't think you get Wayne's World or Bill and Ted without Spicoli.

Yeah, I think this is a movie whose impact was made on cable and home video. Yeah, absolutely.

It's also only one of two movies we've seen this summer directed by a woman.

Yes.

Interesting. The other one also a high school sex comedy, which is interesting. I think actually this movie structurally is not that different from Grease 2 in terms of how it moves to the year. But wow, what a better movie.

Oh my God.

Then again, having your testicles electroplated would be better than watching Grease 2. But amazing just what a difference the performance is, the writing. Obviously, this movie is really well observed, which I think is something Cameron Crowe is very good at. Even if a lot of his work doesn't appeal to me, he certainly does have a knack for seeing to how people speak, and there's a certain just really well observed quality to his movies, I think.

This movie also is on AFI's 100 Funniest Movies. It's number 87.

Well, I get it. Mr. Hand is hilarious. I don't know. So we got that, but producer Brad, now.

What's next?

This movie, I didn't see this at the Multiplex, and I didn't see Friday. I think this weekend is actually a skip. My parents probably made me go visit somebody. What are we going to go see next weekend at the Multiplex, Brad?

Next one, I'm pretty sure I did see at the movie theaters. Next week, we're going to August 20th, 1982, and there's only one movie opening.

Uh-oh.

It's The Beastmaster, starring Mark Singer and Tonya Roberts, directed by Don Coscarelli.

Oh, thank God. We're back in our wheelhouse.

No, I didn't.

I guess we did sort of The Sorcerer the last time, but literally, I just literally feel like we've been like best of the whorehouse in Texas and night shift and this. It's like, oh my God. Thank God. We're back in nerd country. God bless America. Okay. I don't know. paul, do you want to bring us home? You want to give us the closing line? Let's do this thing. Take us home. I'm ready for Beastmaster. Let's go.

We'll see you next week back in line at the Multiplex.